The Purple Duck Pub
How does one start to describe the strangest Inn in Middle-earth!
It started out so well … A young mortal by the name of Foshpickle Greenleaf opened an Inn in Minas Tirith, aided and abetted both by Legolas and her friend Nienna-of-the-Valar. They acquired some purple ducks, and a legend was born. From that point onwards, all hopes of a quiet life for Fosh were dashed as mayhem, madness, and fun-filled moments quickly became the norm.
Love’s lost and found, parties, and adventures all make up the ambience of this interesting institute. Well if the hat fits! The patrons cover all races – elves, dwarves, mortals, hobbits, and half-elves. There are kings, stewards, elven lords and ladies, horse-lords, ringwraiths, rangers, Istari – and plenty of medical help in the form of several experienced healers!
If you like creatures, there is no shortage in that department either. Ducks, firedrakes, wargs, dogs, cats, a parrot called the Green Berserker, even a not-physically-possible-yet-still-somehow-existent baby ringwraith and a vegetarian giant spider.
The lovely Lady Galadriel is always on call for Elven makeovers for anyone who wants to take the chance. As you sit and enjoy the delicious cuisine, courtesy of none other than the Dark Lord Sauron, now totally reformed (his onion rings are the talk of Mordor and surrounding districts), your needs will be well taken care of by Gríma Wormtongue, delightfully decked out in his favourite frilly flowery pinnies, and his now-elven helpers, George and Henry – both the results of successful makeovers by Galadriel. George was once an orc, and Henry once an uruk-hai – as you can now see, the Lady Elf certainly has a way with cosmetics and clothing!
There have been friendly feuds and intrigues (some still ongoing), kidnappings by various factions – none more surprising than when Nienna was spirited away by Jock Parrot and his Corsairs. Ghostly goings on occurred when The Purple Duck moved to larger premises. There was even a period of an almost successful attempt to civilise and educate orcs, a group of which now reside peaceably outside the walls of Minas Tirith, together with a very friendly Cave Troll. The orc enclosure has, at times, been used as holiday accommodation when patrons of the Pub wish some time away from the hectic life of the city.
Should belly-dancing be your penchant, there have been delightful displays by many of the patrons and that includes the male contingent! And last but not least, a good number of weddings and births.
All in all, a plethora of fun, frolics and fine friends greet you as you step through the doors of Middle-earth’s finest, frenetic hostelry – the Purple Duck Pub.
The transformation of Mordor during the times of the Purple Duck
– (Sauron and Sindae take their holidays there and continue gardening madly!)