If you give a Hobbit a Hamburger Chances Are…

If you give a hobbit a hamburger chances are he’ll want some miruvor to go with it. The miruvor will remind him of the trip up Cahadras, so he’ll ask you for some warmer clothes. The clothes will resemble his Elven cloak, so he’ll want you to take him to Lorien to see the Lady. In Lorien he’ll remember the Great River, and he’ll ask you to take him to Parth Galen. Being at Parth Galen will remind him of poor Boromir, and he’ll want you to take him to the White City. On the way, he’ll think of his duties to the King, and he’ll want to take so he’ll clean for the King. During his bath, he’ll remember how fun that bath was at Crickhollow with his friends. He’ll want to reenact the fun by having you splash around and sing with him. The singing will remind him of Aragorn even more, so he’ll get dressed hastily and push you to go faster. When you get to Gondor, he’ll talk and feast with Aragorn. The two of them will want you to prepare horses to go to Rivendell. In Rivendell, he will spill food down his clothes at the feast. He will ask you to wash his clothes. While you’re washing his clothes, he’ll remember the great dances of the elves. He will ask you to go with him to watch them dance. When you go down to the Great Hall, he’ll want you to find Dunedin so that they can sing in Elvish together. When you find Aragorn, he will decide that the King absolutely must see the Brandywine River and his home. He will ask you to prepare three horses for the trip. On the way, he will get warm and take off his sweater, which will remind him of the miruvor. He will ask you for a sip. And, chances are, if he asks you for some miruvor, he’ll want a hamburger to go with it.