The Amelia Poppy Interviews:
Aragorn

…Fellowship is in a battle with Saruman’s orcs… suddenly just as Aragorn kills an orc him and the orc (still on his sword) disappear and reappear in a straaaaaaaaaaange place……

AP: AAAH!! AN ORC!!! EEK!

Aragorn: Don’t worry, he’s dead. You will be too if you don’t tell me where in the world I am! *looks nervous and angry*

AP: *heh heh* I won’t tell you until you get rid of th-that thing on your sword…*eeewww*…

Aragorn: Al right… *throws orc in closet, not knowing Legolas is in there tied up*

Legolas: *muffled screams* Mffffmfffmfffffffaaafmmfff!!
(no one hears him)…*squirm* *squirm*

Orc: *wakes up* Aaaaaaaaaaaah an Elf! AaaaaAAAAah! heh heh…nice hair!

Legolas: O.o *Squirm* MMF!

AP: Uuuhmmm…what’s that sound? *hears sounds from closet*

Aragorn: Eh…don’t sweat it, it’s just the orc in pain! *shrugs*

AP:..oook… I’ve kidnapped you to answer questions from your fans!

Aragorn: Kidnapped? Fans? I have fans? Hey, what are fans?

AP: Jut don’t worry about it. But if you see a stampede of girls coming your way, RUN LIKE THE WIND!!!!!!!!!

Aragorn: Errrrm… ok… ask your questions you are freaking me out!

AP: What is your favorite food?

Aragorn: Roast giant spider in a nice venom sauce… *drools*

AP: *BARFS* THAT’S DISGUSTING!!!

Aragorn: Well what’s your favorite food?

AP: Hey! Who’s interviewing who here??!!

Aragorn: Right now, I’m interviewing you! *points sword at Amelia*

AP: OH YEAH! *looks nervous* That’s r-right… heh!

AP: Oh yeah, my favorite food is roast beef…

Aragorn: What’s that? *looks stupid*

AP: Duh! Cow!

Aragorn: *blink* *blink* Cow?

AP: You know, those things that stand around eating grass and go ‘MOO’?!

Aragorn: Oh those things…EWWWWW! I’D RATHER WASH MY HAIR THEN EAT ONE OF THOSE!

AP: Right, speaking of your hair…why don’t you ever wash it?

Aragorn: I have terrible personal hygiene.

AP: Ok…. that’s one pretty necklace *stares at necklace*

Aragorn: My GIRLFRIEND Arwen gave it to me.

AP: I want it! *takes Aragorn’s sword*

Aragorn: Oi…gimme back my sword!

AP: NEVER!!! SIT DOWN, STRIDER!!

Aragorn: *sits* eep.

AP: Now I shall tie you up! HOLD STILL!

Aragorn: eep. If I ever get home Boromir is never going to stop laughing at me!

AP: I want your necklace! *grabs necklace*

AP: *throws Aragorn in closet with Legolas and orc*

Legolas: *cries* *sniff sniff*

Aragorn: Legolas, why are you crying?

AP: Aaaawww…poor little Leggy, let’s take that nasty ol’ gag off your poor widdo mouth! *pulls off gag*

Leggy: WaaahaaahaaHAA…the orc touched my hair, and I don’t have my shampoo with me!!

AP: *hugs Leggy* aaawwww….

Leggy: *shrieks and cries even more*

Aragorn: *rolls eyes*

(meanwhile…back in Middle-earth with Fellowship)….
Gimli: Hey, where’d Aragorn go? Do you think he finally gave in to washing his hair?

Boromir: Nah, such a thing is not possible…