The Amelia Poppy Interviews….
By Alex and Pauwa
(AUTHOR”S NOTE: Pauwa’s name is really Paulla…)

…….one day the fellowship is walking through the forest then all the sudden there is a shriek! The fellowship turns around an sees that ANOTHER member has disappeared!!!!

Gandalf: First Legolas, then Aragorn and now the ring bearer! I fear we shall all be gone soon. I hope Boromir has stolen the ring again and has it with him… *looks at Boromir*

Boromir: … uuh… *turns insane* NO! IT’S MY SHINY CHEERIO!!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!

*fellowship tries to fix Boromir*…. meanwhile….

*Frodo is all tied up to a chair and looks confuzzled and bored*

Frodo: Oh great. Not me too. Lemme guess…you’re gonna plaster me with kisses and hugs and tell me how cute I am. HA! FORGET IT! You shall not torture me like all other evil fanfic authors do!! You’re nefarious schemes will NOT WORK!!!!! *is glowering*

AP: YOU WILL LOVE ME!!!! As i love you, my darling! Yes i did steal the other hotties and tied them up in my closet but i like you best! Don’t you love me too? *tries best to look desirable*

Frodo: NEVER! THERE’S ONLY ONE LOVE FOR ME!! AND THAT’S MY DARLING ALEX!!!

AP: *sniff* well if you won’t love me then you are like so missing out!

Frodo: HA! Just let me go!

AP: i will after you answer a few questions…. ok?

Frodo: FINE!

AP: But first…*pulls out cell phone* *whispers* Erkay, make all possible escape routs from this building secure. Let him escape, and I will feed you to Orcs. WHA HA HA!!!!

Frodo: What is that thing? *confuzzled* (AUTHOR’S NOTE: confuzzled is our word for confused. don’t ask us how we made it up. it just sorta made itself…)

AP: Its a uh…uh…thingy I like to uuh…never mind! To the questions! *pulls out list* Ahem…*glances at list*
…
…..
……..WHAT THE?? HEY!! This is a page from my diary! Uh oh…AWRIGHT who saw this? If you did, it never really happened! *shouting at assistants in back*

Assistants: heh hehe….what never happened?! *muffles snickers*

Meanwhile…. The lovely Alex and Pauwa sneak in while AP runs in to fire assistants and Alex covers her love Frodo’s mouth with her hand while Pauwa plays look out… (NOTE: this is all part of a brilliant rescue plan. Fear.)….

Frodo: huh? *Turns around* *face brightens*

Alex: *takes hand off Frodo’s mouth and gives him a BiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiG kiss*

Pauwa: Aawww…so touching! *hides eyes* ooog…I just can’t take this….

Alex: *pretends not to notice but decides to deal with Pauwa later*

Frodo: ALAS! MY LOVE IT IS YOU AT LAST!!!

Alex: Yes, my darling, it’s me! I’ve come to rescue you!

Pauwa: Duh. Now somebody get me a barf bag. Oh no Frodo! Look out! She’s coming back!!!!

Alex: O No! *unties Frodo*

Pauwa: *prepares vat of melted cheese* Hee hee hee…ain’t life great?
cheeeeeese….my baby cheeses! My one and only love in life…cheeeeses!

AP: *GASP*!!! WHAT THE!!!! HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE?!?! I HAD ALL DOORS SECURELY FASTENED! HOW DID U GET PAST MY GUARD!!?

Alex: Heh heh heh… i gave him some CHEESE!

AP: UGH! WHY THAT STUPID GUARD! WHY I OUGHTTA… *GASP* you must be Alex! Frodo is devoted to you…. but i can change that…

…Pauwa is still sobbing and crying over the Vat of Cheesy Doom which is to be the Evil Amelia Poppy’s head dress…

Alex: I don’t think so, Amelia POOPY!!

AP: *gasp!* ugH!! HOW RUDE! *swings at Alex*

Alex: HA! IS THAT ALL YOU GOT!!?? *kicks AP in the shins*

Pauwa: *glances at the two insane combatants* Is that the best you two miserable fighters can do? I mean, COME ON!!

Alex: ….you’re supposed to be my best friend and…dorky sidekick!!!

Pauwa: I AM your best friend….dorky sidekick? 😛 *thhhhbt* At least I know how to fight! KA RA TE!! *does fancy shmancy kicks*

Frodo: *laughs and watches from afar* Imagine, all this trouble and fuss for me! Ah, this is the life! ….maybe now Sam will stop trying to plan romantic dinners for the two of us…*ponders this for a moment* *shudders*

All: WHAT? Sam…ewwwwww!! Die Sam die! Where is he? Lez go get him! Frodo’s MINE! *AP and Alex are shouting this* *Pauwa is still crying over cheese and doing karate*

AP: NO HE’S MINE!

Pauwa: HA! *stops fancy shmancy KA RA TE*

AP: *turns around and sees big vat of cheese coming at her* AAAAAAH!

Pauwa: This is for Alex and Frodo!! *pours vat of cheese on AP’s head still crying*

AP: *SCREAMS!* *runs in to bathroom to wash her hair*

Alex: YAY! GO PAUWA!!! C’mon let’s go!

… Legolas and Aragorn are bound and gagged in closet and have heard all of this….

Leggy and Aragorn: *tries to scream* MMMPH! MMMPH!!!

….no one hears over AP’s pathetic cries and they all walk out the door…

Frodo: i wonder where Legolas and Aragorn are….

Alex and Pauwa: They were stolen too? Oh no!

Closet: MMMPH! MMMPH!!!!

….meanwhile back in Middle-Earth….

Boromir: NO! NO! Don’t take my shiny cheerio away! IT’S MINE! MINE I TELLS YOU!

Sam: *hits Boromir in face with his trusty frying pan* you took the ring from my Frodo!??! *realizes what he just said…* uuh… i mean…. *blushes then hits everyone with frying pan knocking them out and makes some sausages*

…..This is going to cost Sam something….he hit Boromir…DIE.

Boromir: *mumbles in sleep* MY shiny cheerio… alll mine…

THE END!!!