Part One: Child of the West

In the year four-hundred and ninety-four of the First Age of the Sun

Chapter one- I am Ithil Elanna.

I am Ithil Elanna. Star-gift. I was born in the Realm of Nargothrond, in the one-hundred and third year. My mother is Emilin, my father is Himkal. Nearly three decades had passed since the mortal man Beren passed through our city, and the story became legend. He came through Nargothrond on his way to recapture a Silmaril of Fëanor, as a bride price for Lúthien Tinúviel, the Elf-maiden, the fairest of all Elves. My sister, Andúnë, was said to be as beautiful as she.

Andúnë is my twin sister, and is nothing like me. She is said to have the grace and beauty of Tinúviel, as I am compared to Varda, Elbereth, Lady of the Stars. I find that amusing, as Varda was the most powerful and most beautiful of the Valier, yet everyone holds Andúnë as higher, and with greater beauty than I have. My name, Ithil, means the Moon, and my name, Elanna, means Star-gift. Andúnë may be my twin…but we are opposites in every way.

She had always been so beautiful that people would crowd the air around her to glimpse her face. Especially those demon he-Elves. She loved them, though, so I resolved not to fret about it. Her most beautiful aspect, I think, is her hair. It is like gold, flowing about her waist, and she always does it so beautifully, or I think so. Mostly she just leaves it down. It looks best that way, though when she wants it to look very nice, she always lets Naneth do it.

Andúnë had always been Naneth’s pride and joy. I didn’t mind, though. I hated it when people noticed me…well, most people anyway. They said “Ai! Aren’t you Andúnë’s little twin?” Yes, I am her little sister. We are far from identical. In fact, most people didn’t even know we’re related unless they were told. Andúnë had that beautiful golden hair, sparkling bright blue eyes- bluer than the sky, ruddy skin, a dazzling smile that made the ellyn swoon; always talking and laughing with her beautiful cheery, sweet voice. She was the most beautiful, good natured person I knew…but I was never jealous. No he-Elves paid attention to me, and I was thankful to Ilúvatar they didn’t. I’m not much for socializing.

I am not as beautiful as Andúnë, either. I have silver hair, like a spider’s web. Nana once said that “it looks like the moon through a shimmering fog.” My eyes look the same way, except darker, a shade of grey. I had pale skin…I did my roaming by moonlight. I was much quieter than my sister. I loved the outdoors. The woods surrounding our home; the trees of Nan-Tathren and the Fens of Sirion; the plains of Talath Dirnen; the hills of Taur-en-Faroth; the waters of Narog and Sirion… I loved the stars of Varda and the Moon: the Ship of Tilion…I just loved being outside. A small stream branched from Narog and flowed above our home and it had the most cool refreshing water I have ever felt. It must bear the kiss of Yavanna. Andúnë and I used to play in it often when we were children. We looked about the same back then…but then Andúnë became so very beautiful.

She loved to visit with the other Elves our age, especially the he-Elves. She could have had anyone she wanted…but she had to pick a scoundrel.

Andúnë was wandering the golden fields in the sunshine one day in the early summer, a little ways north of the city. She always wandered by herself when she felt lonely, though that was a rare emotion for her. She ran into a he-Elf named Maeglin. I did not trust him, but Andúnë talked of nothing else. He said he was planning to stay in Nargothrond for a while, as he seemed to have no home of his own, no horse, and no family. He would say nothing of himself to any of us, though I had no idea what he said to Andúnë. He seemed to have quite fallen for her too, though he did not seem like he truly loved her… at least not very much. He always appeared pre-occupied with something. The days ahead would tell more of this strange ellon…who was now the item of envy with every other unmarried he-Elf west of Aelin-Uial!

Chapter two- Maeglin

It had been nearly a month since Andúnë first spotted Maeglin. He had been staying in a small house near ours, right in the middle of a little dwarf settlement. In addition to the old ones that have been here for as long as I can remember, a few new dwarves made their way to Nargothrond some time before this, and Maeglin seemed to like them very much. He said he had seen many dwarves in his time. But Maeglin stayed to himself mostly. When he wasn’t with Andúnë, that is. She came into my bedroom one night, practically glowing. Her cheeks were flushed with excitement and her hands were shaking.

“Ithil, little sister,” she said, smiling shyly. “I am thankful to Ilúvatar that Maeglin came to us.”

“Why is that?” I asked. “He seems like a rag-tag wanderer. What is so glorious about him?”

She hung her head and sighed. “I love him, Elanna…” she whispered. I could tell she was not lying. I could see it in her eyes whenever he was around. When he spoke her name the color rose to her face and she smiled at him. He always stared at her as if she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. I really didn’t blame him.

And, when I thought about it, I didn’t blame her, either. Maeglin was handsome. He had black hair and very sharp black eyes. It didn’t seem, by his appearance, that he could be the least bit tender…but I supposed that he may have a soft spot or two.

One very dark night I went to the woods past the Fens of Sirion, a forest a few miles from our underground fortress. We lived in the far east of Nargothrond, so I could run all the way there without getting too tired. A few of the men were there too, hunting, and Maeglin must have followed them. I jumped from tree to tree, soaking in the light of Elbereth, when I came to the edge of the wood. I saw him sitting, arms around his knees, under a tree at the very edge of the forest. I was silent in the tree above him, but when I dropped I must have startled him, for he drew his sword. He did not lower it immediately, not recognizing me in the moonlight, if he knew me at all.

“Who are you?” he asked, sheathing his sword once he saw it was only a woman. He had a bit of an accent. After all, he was a Grey-Elf.

“Ithil,” I said. He did not know me. “Andúnë is my sister,” I added.

He stared strangely at me. “Has Andúnë sent you here?”

I smiled to myself. An odd question. “No, I came of my own accord. I knew not that you came with the hunters.”

He nodded. “What brings you here this late? It is long past the rising of the moon,” he remarked, leaning against the thick black bark of a tree.

I pushed my long silver hair back behind my ears. “I prefer the light of Elentári,” I said, and he smiled. His smile seemed almost wicked. I knew his purposes were not of good intention. “What do you want with us?” I asked. “What do you want with my sister?”

His mouth coiled. “I have no home and no purpose. All my life’s goals have turned to dust. I seek refuge here…to start anew,” he replied, leaning his head toward me.

My Eldarin senses were rather unused, but I knew that he did not fully plan to start anew. That could not be his purpose. He wished to own no horse, no house of his own, permanently at least, and all he cared about was my sister, it seemed. He would bring Andúnë trouble, if not the whole of my family trouble, I feared. He made me cold in the pit of my stomach. “And you would seek refuge with the Noldor?” I asked, though I cringed within. The great Kinslaying of long ago had caused a rift between the Elven kinds, though much of the Noldorin kind was innocent of knowledge at Alqualondë.

He seemed to ignore me, just looking into my eyes; staring at me for the longest time. He touched his hand to my neck briefly, then grabbed my face and kissed me. I tried to loosen his hold, but he let me go only when I yanked myself from him. There was no feeling in his kiss…I suppose he just wanted a woman. I prayed to the Valar that was not the use he had planned for my sister.

Chapter three- Attack on Nargothrond

When I left the house that fateful morning it was if the city had been emptied. There were a few women scattered about, and most were either crying or wringing their hands. I found Nana in the house of her friend, Romenna, and they were talking very quietly.

“What is going on?” I asked. “Where are all the ellyn?”

Nana rushed over to where I was, her black hair falling about her shoulders. “Not a quarter of an hour ago there was a raid above ground; erch were attempting to penetrate our city!”

“Are they gone?” I asked nervously.

She shook her head. “All men have gone above ground to fend them off. There must be many of them.”

There had to have been many of them if it took every Elf in Nargothrond.

I left the protection of the fortress and ran through the trees all the way to Narog, our river. It took me nearly an hour, but I finally found the battle. I could see Elves and orcs fighting on the west side of the rushing water. I heard a whimper near me, and saw that Andúnë was sobbing on the banks of the river.

I bent down. “What is wrong, Andúnë? What has happened?”

She looked up at me, her eyes red and wet with tears. “Maeglin and I were outside when we heard the call of the archers. The north tower had spotted many orcs, but their numbers were growing and they needed reinforcements. There are so many of them, Ithil, and I don’t know how they found the paths to us. Elves have come from every watchtower, even the sea-watch. Maeglin is out there, and Father.”

I stroked her hair. “It’s all right. Elven men know how to defend their city.”

I waited with her for a while, as the fighting seemed to slow. The Elves were winning by far, and we had lost few soldier. Then, from out of nowhere, a huge mass of orcs swarmed to the spot, catching us off guard. Andúnë gasped, and I stood quickly to my feet. I raced for the old bridge, not thinking. Soon after I crossed it I was in the midst of the battle. I unsheathed Luvier, my sword. Orcs were everywhere, and my cold steel bit them gladly. I backed away to the edge of the battlefield and pulled out my bow. I loosed arrows as fast as I could; orcs were dropping everywhere. When the last beast fell to the ground, the men leaned on their swords and looked in my direction, many of them laughing.

“So there is the mysterious archer,” said one, smiling broadening. My father laughed and ran toward me, his fair hair disheveled and dirty. I hugged him tightly, thankful he was not wounded. He stroked my hair lovingly, then frowned at the sight of my blood stained sword.

“You should not have come, Ithil, it was too dangerous. Your place is at home.”

I smiled wryly. “There’s no stopping me, you know that. I’ll not be a weeping maiden waiting for my Ada to return from battle.

Ada chuckled, then we heard a sharp whizzing sound. He gasped, his face quickly draining of color. He fell from his feet and landed at mine. He had been shot with a black feathered arrow. Bending beside him, I could see that it bore runes of poison. I stood and looked into the distance. Coming toward us from the north at an alarming rate were many orcs on wolves. There had to be at least twenty wargs, all huge and growling fiercely.

I unsheathed my sword and ran to Maeglin, who was standing close by. “My lord,” I gasped. “My father has been shot. There is no time to mend him now, but he must be moved else he will be trampled by the fell beasts.”

He sneered ahead at the orcs. “No.”

“What do you mean, no?” I cried. But the wargs were approaching. After we had slew a few of them, the leader, mounted on a huge black beast, pointed at Maeglin with his sword.

“The Dark Elf,” he sneered, and two orcs approached him. Maeglin knocked one out with his elbow, and slit the other’s throat. Five more came towards him, threw him on a warg, and rode off. The others were powerless to stop them.

I heard a shrill scream behind me, and, tears flowing down her face, Andúnë came running towards us. She fell to her knees a few feet in front of me, sobbing and gasping for breath. I knelt beside her, smoothing her hair. Tears ran down my face.

“Ada will be all right,” I whispered.

She shook her head, crying aloud. “Lómion,” she sobbed in our tongue. I looked questioningly at her. She bowed her head. “Maeglin….” she whispered. Disgusted, I drew back from her convulsing body. She cared more for this stranger than she did about our own father! Andúnë was sweet, but she was fickle. I ran back to Ada, who was lying motionless on the grass. I knelt beside him and felt his heartbeat. Not even a slow thud. My tears fell upon his bosom, and I whispered prayers to the Valar. Still nothing. Tears flowed from my face.

“Adar…” I breathed, stroking his face lovingly. “Ada…A Eru….” I turned my face to the sky.

He was dead.

Chapter four- Unwelcome News

It had been about a month since the orc attack, which was obviously staged to capture Maeglin. Why, no one seemed to know. He must have had a shady past that he kept from us, even from Andúnë. She obviously knew him very little, even with her professed love for the Dark Elf.

It was getting dark outside, and all I could hear from my perch atop the trees was the loud roar of Narog. The wind blew softly about my face as the moon rose. Another perfectly peaceful night. I escaped to the southwestern edge of Doriath’s woods, where the rivers Aros and Sirion met, when I wanted to be alone…when I wanted to go further away than our own woods. I dared not to go further into the woods, however. It was not permitted. It was a long run, but those on horses could get there in no time. I kept no horse; it was therapy for my mind to run the distance. But now, from the top of the tall tree, I could see a saddled mare at the edge of the woods.

“Elanna!” I heard Andúnë call me from the ground. I looked down. Her beautiful face was near tears, I could tell, and she looked somehow older. “Elanna, I need to talk to you,” she whispered again. “I couldn’t find you…I thought you’d be here.” Silence. “Please, Elanna.”

I climbed down then grasped her hands. “What is it? What’s wrong?” She gave a half sob and sat upon the dirt floor of the forest. The soft glow of the moon filtered through the trees, landing in streaks upon us. I sat down behind her, wrapping my arms around her shoulders. “Tell me what is the matter,” I whispered, kissing her pale cheek softly.

She looked away from me, and was silent for many minutes, not moving. “I don’t know how I’ll tell Naneth…” she said softly. I looked curiously at her. She laughed bleakly. “I honestly don’t know how I’ll tell you, Ithil, even though I know I can trust you.” She sighed. “I’m glad I don’t have to tell Ada,” she added, then winced.

“Just say it,” I whispered, fighting tears not to remember him.

She sighed again, and tears began to flow down her face. “Oh Ithil…I carry his child…..” she whispered, and began to sob.

I didn’t have to ask whose child she carried, I knew instantly. I thinned my lips. “Maeglin,” I said, and she looked at me with a pitiful face.

“Oh Ithil,” she said, breathlessly. “Do not be angry at him!”

I stood. “How can I not be angry at him? The foul man deserves what he will get when those orcs are through with him.” I spat upon the ground. “I hope Morgoth sent them, I hope he is killed.”

Andúnë gasped, standing. “No, Ithil, don’t blame him. I was as much to blame as he.”

I looked sternly at her, half turning my back away and crossing my arms. “I shall say so. Andúnë,” I cried, exasperated. “What possessed you to wed him? Why!?” I still could not believe my ears, they were ringing. Andúnë…marrying this man…and in secret no less! How could she do such a thing!?

She smiled shyly off into space, seemingly trying to recapture the moment. “He took me…… do you remember? We went with the scouts to Nan-Tathren. We wandered the woods, not caring for the others. He had found a beautiful patch of grass, softest and greenest in all Beleriand, I swear it. We were sitting down, and he was holding me. Ai, how I loved him. He told me he loved me…that he would never leave me.” Andúnë frowned momentarily. “He said he had loved another woman, but she detested him, so he left her. He asked me if I loved him, ai, I told him I did, more than Eru and all his creations.” I gasped softly, but she continued talking, a smile upon her lips. “He smiled so beautifully at me, and I couldn’t look away from his lovely eyes, his eyes were sparkling so bright….and then he kissed me. He held me so tight, he kissed me long and I couldn’t back away. I wanted to be with him so badly, Ithil, I wanted to love him. He asked me to marry him… I wanted to be there with him, all alone with no one else.” She stopped briefly, smiling at me with a twinkle in her eyes. “He is a wonderful kisser, Elanna.”

I knew too much about that already, but I didn’t want to hurt her. Maeglin had already done enough of that, though Andúnë didn’t see it as his fault. Perhaps he really did love her, I thought, perhaps he cared nothing for the other woman. After all, he had gone through enough to marry her… But perhaps not. It was best for her to forget about him now…whether or not she bore his babe. He was out of our lives.

Andúnë and I talked far into the night. She cried mostly, wondering how she would raise Maeglin’s child, if he would ever get to see the baby, how she would tell Naneth, what Naneth would do. I promised her I would help her through whatever she had to bear. I would help her with the child, I promised. Within my heart I knew I wanted to leave Nargothrond, I wanted to go into the lands, to explore the regions, to find new places, perhaps find someone to share a life with. But now Andúnë needed me, thanks to Maeglin. May Mandos grab his soul and never return it.

Chapter five- Preparing to leave

Andúnë looked so peaceful when I tucked her into bed that night. She had tear stains on her face, which was oddly pale, and she looked so tired. Her golden hair fell in damp ringlets about her, and she looked so pitiful. I had second thoughts about leaving, but I knew I had to. I was shaking all over when I left the room.

Andúnë had told Naneth about the baby that night; Naneth was very understanding, and spoke soothing words to her, saying she knew how Andúnë felt. She knew what it was like to love a man, she knew the pain my sister was going through. I hoped that would comfort Andúnë when I was gone.

After I said goodnight to Naneth I raced quietly into my room, blowing out all the lights except a small candle on my bed stand. My hands shook as I grabbed my brown leather sack. I packed my extra warm woolen grey cloak and my thick woolen leggings for when it got cold, and a thin silver mesh cloak for when the weather was warmer. I also took a skirt of very thin cloth that I always wore when it was hot in summertime. My hands brushed the white gown that Naneth had made me for my coming of age ‘edinar’ when I was fifty. I hadn’t worn it in so many years… I shoved it into the pack, not knowing why. But it was a little bit of home. Rummaging through my drawers I found an empty scroll of parchment that I had been given on one of my begetting days. Taking that, and a quill and a bottle of ink, I stuck them snugly between my other belongings in the bag. I looked around the spacious room, knowing that there was so much I would have to leave behind. I rummaged through my bolted closet, filled with various weapons and armor. I chose carefully, only taking Luvier, my bow and quiver, as many arrows as I could, and my white gauntlets my father had stored away for if I ever needed them. I sighed softly, lacing them up.

“Thank you, Ada…” I whispered, pulling on my long brown boots. I pulled my leggings over top, hiding the boots. I hefted my bow over my shoulder, and my bag over the other. It was strangely light for all I was taking. I walked over to my bedside table to see if there was anything else I had forgotten. I saw a small carving knife laying on the top, and I wrapped it in a small cloth and stuck it in my thick black belt. My eye caught a glimmer of the candle reflect on something, drawing my attention to a small and delicate silver chain laying on the table. I picked it up and tugged at it. It was small and light, but very tough- as tough as iron. There was no pendant to adorn it, but I fastened it on anyway; I felt drawn to put it on, as if there was a reason that I did not know of yet. I exhaled loudly and blew out the candle.

I slipped above ground very stealthily, and made my way through the hills. For a long while I walked, my mind whirring and my body buzzing with excitement. With every step on the rocky terrain I felt guilt, however…I knew how much Andúnë needed me. But this was something I had to do, though I hardly knew why. Every so often I adjusted the pack on my shoulder, anxious for something to do. But after an hour of walking and running, I heard the rushing sounds of water.

When I reached Narog, I walked slowly across the makeshift bridge that had been there for as long as I could recall, my Elf eyes picking up scars of the battle that lingered still on the grass. A broken arrow here, a shard of steel there, a blood stain or a long dead orc…and I saw a large orc bow laying near the rotting body of a warg. It was thick and tough I discovered when I picked it up. I stretched it, fitting an arrow from the ground to it and pointing it straight ahead. I saw that it pointed directly to where Ada was shot. I wondered if it was the same bow that dealt the killing arrow. I took out my own bow, which was small and shapely; lined with delicate silver etchings. It had been called ‘Cúran’ by Nana- ‘crescent moon’. It was very beautiful. I thinned my lips. I was going to be a changed person. I no longer needed to be reminded of my life as a homely elleth living in Nargothrond. I went to the place where my father last stood and picked up his bow, which had been left on the ground. I broke the strings of both our bows and twined them together. Then I tossed them into the swift moving water.

I slung the large orc bow over my shoulder, trying to get used to the weight and rhythm of its bounce against my back. It was heavier than my old bow. I began walking against the flow of the river. I had no map, though my mental image of Beleriand was not bad. And I had the nearly invisible sun to tell me which direction I would go. I would just have to find my way in the world. I sighed, hoping that my loneliness was only temporary. I began talking to myself.

“Ai, Ilúvatar…help this journey to go well. Help me to…well…find where Maeglin came from, who he was, so I can help my sister.” I decided I would journey to our neighbors of Doriath, and the caves of Menegroth. Great was the grudge between our people, I knew, but it was long in the past. I supposed no ill will would be held against me, of all people, for I was not yet born at the time of the incidents. I faced north, not wanting to completely retrace my steps and go back east. I would pass through Talath Dirnen, the wide empty plains, then make my way into the green woods of Region that sheltered Menegroth. Perhaps I would go to Neldoroth afterwards, and trod the same ground that Beren and Lúthien once did. A slow smile crept its way on to my face as my footsteps grew more confident, more sure, without hesitation.

~*To Be Continued*~