| ladygaladrielrox |
|
| Avis_Cantrix |
|
| anduril269 |
|
| ladygaladrielrox |
|
| Meril841 |
|
| anduril269 |
|
| Baranor |
|
| ladygaladrielrox |
|
| anduril269 |
|
| ladygaladrielrox |
|
| Meril841 |
|
| anduril269 |
|
| tinquendi |
|
| arwen_the_evenstar |
|
| anduril269 |
|
| arwen_the_evenstar |
|
| anduril269 |
|
| arwen_the_evenstar |
|
| Hanasian |
|
| anduril269 |
|
| Hanasian |
 RE: Rpg-ing in 1st Person Discussion
on: November 22, 2007 05:34
|
|
anduril269 said:I don't particularly favour the tandem of 1st and 3rd in the example you supplied, though I'm sure it can work. To me it seems just a step away from the *....* action RPGing, e.g.:
-------
Hi, how are you!
*steps over to Fred*
I haven't seen you in ages...
-------
Personally I find the above a dreadful way of writing, but that's just my opinion. I must say I tend towards the more.. 'literary' in style. (But please let's not get into the philosophical discussion of 'what is literature' here! Pretend I didn't say it)
Anduril269, I totally agree with you that your 'asteriking' example is totally dreadful in any story writing and in writing either 1st or 3rd person RP(no'G'). What you give example of is what I call 'RPGing, for only 'gamers' and not 'story writers' would write in such a way. Admittedly what I wrote on the fly was not all that good, but it does not even come close to that sort of 21st century 'RPGaming abomination. So I will assume here that you were confused by my putting the '(3rd person narrative)', '(1st person thought)', '(spoken dialogue)', stuff in front of the different parts? It was only there to show the different parts of the example and would, not to be written out in an actual role play. So, without it, my example would appear I would write it in an RP, like this:
- - - -
Eorl had been riding for two days and a night, and as the sun set the second day, the gates of Bree were in sight! His horse was tired, for he only gave her rest at need, and so before approaching, he stopped and dismounted, letting her forage the lush grasses by the side of the road and lap at the water of the fens.
Meanwhile, Eorl stood and walked about slowly, stretching his cramped legs. He looked back down the road from where he had ridden, and was troubled by his thoughts...
Did I do the right thing riding to this place? The troubles of Rohan were of no concern of the great Dunedain of the north, but for the trail of the King's youngest daughter. Yes, she had come here, and she likely went searching for them. And I was sent to find her, and to bring her back...
Eorl nodded to himself as he looked at the road for sign, and called his horse to him.
" Swiftwind, we need to go"
She took one last mouthfull of grass and reluctantly turned toward him. Reaching for her, he said,
"There will be rest enough soon, for we will be at the gate before this night settles."
Swiftwind came to him, ready to bear him once more. Eorl mounted and they were again making way toward the south gate of Bree. There he hoped to find an inn and a stable, and they both would rest.
- - - -
Hopefully I've made myself clearer here.
Since I have the time now, I'll post the same bit in complete 1st person:
- - - -
I had been riding for two days and a night, and as the sun set the second day, the gates of Bree were in sight! My horse was tired, for I only gave her rest at need, and so before approaching, I stopped and dismounted, letting her forage the lush grasses by the side of the road and lap at the water of the fens.
Meanwhile, I stood and walked about slowly, stretching my cramped legs. I looked back down the road from where I had ridden, and was troubled by my thoughts...
Did I do the right thing riding to this place? The troubles of Rohan were of no concern of the great Dunedain of the north, but for the trail of the King's youngest daughter. Yes, she had come here, and she likely went searching for them. And I was sent to find her, and to bring her back...
I nodded to myself as I looked at the road for sign, and called my horse to me.
" Swiftwind, we need to go"
She took one last mouthfull of grass and reluctantly turned toward me. Reaching for her, I said,
"There will be rest enough soon, for we will be at the gate before this night settles."
Swiftwind came to me, ready to bear me once more. I mounted and we were again making way toward the south gate of Bree. There I hoped to find an inn and a stable, and we both would rest.
- - - -
Yes, it works ok, and personally I think one can have more fun with the character when written in 1st person.
Now for complete 3rd person:
- - - -
Eorl had been riding for two days and a night, and as the sun set the second day, the gates of Bree were in sight! His horse was tired, for he only gave her rest at need, and so before approaching, he stopped and dismounted, letting her forage the lush grasses by the side of the road and lap at the water of the fens.
Meanwhile, Eorl stood and walked about slowly, stretching his cramped legs. He looked back down the road from where he had ridden, and was troubled by his thoughts...
Did he do the right thing riding to this place? The troubles of Rohan were of no concern of the great Dunedain of the north, but for the trail of the King's youngest daughter. Yes, she had come here, and she likely went searching for them. And he was sent to find her, and to bring her back...
Eorl nodded to himself as he looked at the road for sign. and called his horse to him.
" Swiftwind, we need to go"
She took one last mouthfull of grass and reluctantly turned toward him. Reaching for her, he said,
"There will be rest enough soon, for we will be at the gate before this night settles."
Swiftwind came to him, ready to bear him once more. Eorl mounted and they were again making way toward the south gate of Bree. There he hoped to find an inn and a stable, and they both would rest.
- - - -
That works too, though te feeling of the one bit being only thought isn't conveyed as well when delivered in 3rd person.
I think whether if its in 1st person, or 3rd person, the structure of a post and how it appears on a typical computer monitor is more important. Making it readable helps other writers read it, and at least for me, saves the eyes. I don't know how many times I've tried to read posts written something like this:
- - - -
Eorl had been riding for two days and a night, and as the sun set the second day, the gates of Bree were in sight! His horse was tired, for he only gave her rest at need, and so before approaching, he stopped and dismounted, letting her forage the lush grasses by the side of the road and lap at the water of the fens.
Meanwhile, Eorl stood and walked about slowly, stretching his cramped legs. He looked back down the road from where he had ridden, and was troubled by his thoughts...
Did I do the right thing riding to this place? The troubles of Rohan were of no concern of the great Dunedain of the north, but for the trail of the King's youngest daughter. Yes, she had come here, and she likely went searching for them. And I was sent to find her, and to bring her back...
Eorl nodded to himself as he looked at the road for sign. and called his horse to him.
" Swiftwind, we need to go"
She took one last mouthfull of grass and reluctantly turned toward him. Reaching for her, he said,
"There will be rest enough soon, for we will be at the gate before this night settles."
Swiftwind came to him, ready to bear him once more. Eorl mounted and they were again making way toward the south gate of Bree. There he hoped to find an inn and a stable, and they both would rest.
- - - -
Even when italicized, its a lot harder to read.
Thanks for allowing me to make my points about writing here. 
Eighth King of Arthedain - It was in battle that I come into this Kingship, and it will be in Battle when I leave it. There is no peace for the Realm of Arnor. Read the last stand of Arthedain in the Darkest of Days.
|
|
| anduril269 |
|
| Hanasian |
|
| Hanasian |
|
| Hanasian |
|
| Asilyn |
|
| Hanasian |
|
Author
