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Erebor
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: March 11, 2007 03:53
These jokes are awesome. All of you guys rock !! :disco: :disco: I am disgusted with myself. I should be able to come up with something :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: Oh well, I'll keep trying. Sorry !!
Michaela
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: March 19, 2007 03:34
Why did Sauron try out for "West Side Story"?

Because he's Lord of the Sings!

OK...that was a really bad joke...
frodofan14
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: October 25, 2007 09:34
i didnt come up with this one i found it on a humor site...

Q: what did pippin say to merry when he saw trees dancing?
A: thats ENT ertainment!

i thought it was pretty funny
Gwenniel
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: January 07, 2010 08:30
Why did Sam Gamgee cross the road?
That´s where Frodo went.

:love:Then, one classic:

How many Gondorians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Gondor has no lightbulbs. Gondor needs no lightbulbs!
Image
Loslote
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: January 07, 2010 09:13
How many Faramirs does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one, but hundreds of fangirls will come watch him do it, in case there be angst.


Oh, I am so there!

How many CoErs does it take to change a lightbulb?

1 to change the actual lightbulb and start a thread about it.
7 to post relating their stories about changing lightbulbs.]
2 to tell the other 8 that their way is dumb.
1 to tell the two meanies that they're banned for being mean.
3 to offer adive about changing lightbulbs.
6 to debate over the best brand of lightbulb.
1 mod to move the thread to the proper forum.
2 to thank the mod.
6 newbies to quote all the posts so far, including sigs, and add "me too".
13 people to then relate their stories about changing lightbulbs. Again.
LOTR_obsessed_loony
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: January 22, 2010 06:15
I wonder what would happen if you got Turin to change a lightbulb...
Blood all over the place, seeing as he's a living magnet for the "if it can go wrong, it will go wrong" principle. Then of course he'll assume that you're going to kick him out for smashing the lightbulb and run out, and you'll have to spend ages trying to figure out where he went only to end up tied to a tree and possibly (after a couple of years of lodging at his place, being betrayed by a weird dwarf, and eventually rescuing him from orcs) dead. ... Wow, I even surprised myself with how far I was able to extend that joke.

How many Gollums does it take to change a lightbulb?
None - he'll get as far as taking the old one out, then crawl away into a corner to gloat over his "Precious", leaving you to pick up where he left off and actually put the new one in.

Yeah, not funny, I know.
Heh-heh, Loslote, you've got a point there. (With the joke and the Faramir thing. )
"...Though thereafter we may walk in the shadows, I will not go forth as a thief in the night." – Boromir, FotR, The Ring Goes South Image Image Image Image Image
Loslote
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: January 22, 2010 08:31
Elrond, Gandalf and some elves sitting near the hearth at Rivendell. Sound of steps from the roof, coughs, swearing. Then a ring falls into the hearth. Gandalf:
“Don’t you worry, chaps, that’s Frodo training.”

~~~

Gimli is visiting Legolas in Mirkwood. On the wall of elf’s chamber there is a hide of fell beast hanged
Gimli: whoa, Lego, how many arrows did you spend to get this thing?
Legolas: 47
Gimli: And how many times did you hit it?
Legolas: never
Gimli: yet how did you manage to kill it?
Legolas: It suffocated because of laughter
starofdunedain
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: March 06, 2010 10:14
Okay, here's a couple for you're enjoyment. The first one I found via google. Credit goes to the author. The other is of my shameless creating. :rolling:
Why was Lord of the Rings made into a movie?: Because the fans were Baggins for it.

What did Aragorn say when Frodo was stabbed on Weathertop?: Oh no, not another dead ringer!



[Edited on 6/3/2010 by starofdunedain]
starofdunedain
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: March 21, 2010 05:07
*crickets chirp*
I didn't think it was that bad. :dizzy:
Loslote
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: March 21, 2010 08:02
It was funny, starod! I just...um...forgot to post. Sowie. :blush:

Anyways: My friend liked to dress like Frodo, but quit when he learned it was Hobbit forming.
arwen1300
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: April 04, 2010 07:05
These are funny! I need to think of one now...

I think we already established that blonde jokes are okay, but I'm sorry if this offends. It is a LotR version of a different joke.

Three people from the modern world are suddenly transported to Middle-Earth. They end up in Mordor, after beginning to understand what is going on in Middle-Earth, and are going to be killed. Orcs point their cross-bows, but before they shoot the first, she shouts, "Gondorians!" The orcs turn to attack and she slips away. The second, knowing that that trick wouldn't work again, shouts, "Nazgul!" The orcs turn to recieve orders. The third (the blonde) is is up for execution, and the orcs are waiting for the command to shoot. She shouts, "Fire!" They fire.

lame, but yeah

[Edited on 4/4/2010 by arwen1300]
Image If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world. -Thorin
starofdunedain
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: April 08, 2010 10:12
I think Blonde jokes are still good.... aaaand....I can't think of anything. :banghead:
Maybe later.
Talkeen43
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: August 18, 2010 05:28
How many Denethors does it take to change a light bulb?


Denethors don't change light bulbs, they just go to the Fringe of a parallel universe where the light bulb doesn't need changing.
glassadar_eruaphadriel
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Post RE: LOTR jokes
on: February 05, 2012 01:07
i know this is an old thread, but...
legolas, gimli, and pippin walk into a bar, and each order an ale. however, when they are served, there is a fly in each one. legolas shudders and orders another, gimli fishes it out and continues drinking, and pippin shakes his over his mug, shouting, "spit it out! spit it out!"

[Edited on 5/2/2012 by glassadar_eruaphadriel]
starofdunedain
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Post Re: LOTR jokes
on: May 14, 2012 08:50
"One does not simply rakataka into Mordor"

*gets rotten fruit thrown at him for bad joke*

And other variations. 'One does not simply (insert word here) into Mordor. I thought it was funny.
Latarina15
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Post Re: LOTR jokes
on: June 20, 2012 03:35
chuck norris was offered the roll of Frodo in LotR but he turned it down because only a sissy takes 3 movies to throw away a peice of cheap costume jewelry. (at least a pity laugh would be appreciated)
alfirin48
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Post Re: LOTR jokes
on: July 22, 2012 02:42
Quote from Josephine_jfh on June 2, 2005, 18:24
I'd post this on the wrong forum before, and it was closed so I can't search it out. Now I retype it here again.

Nazgul: "No man can kill me."
Eowyn: "I am no man."


...only Eowyn can kill Nazgul? Let's find it out.

Gandalf: I am no man, I am gay.
Legolas: I am no man, I am gay, too. (Stay calm, fan girls. I'm just joking.)
Arwen: I am no man, I am she-elf.
Sam: I am no man, I AM SAM. (Sean Penn: Hey! Don't steal my line.)
Boromir: I am no man, I am dead.
King of the Dead: Me, too.
:evil:
Shadowfax: I am no man, I am a horse. (Kick)This is for Snowmane...

Here are other members' ideas.

Sauron: I am no man, I am your master!
Gollum: We are no m'a'n, we are m'e'n! My precioussss...


This is the most fabulous one I think:

Nazgul: No man can kill me!
Treebeard: I am no man, I am...
Nazgul: No tree can kill me, either.
Treebeard: I am no tree, I am an Ent.


[Edited on 2/6/2005 by Josephine_jfh]




I have always found it funny that the nazgul goes to the only woman and hobbit on the battlefield
GotPrecious
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Post Re: LOTR jokes
on: July 22, 2012 09:16
^^ Well, he didn't know that Eowyn was a woman. She had her hair in a helmet.
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for thou art crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
wolfbladequeen
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on: June 16, 2013 02:26
By loslote:
Gimli is visiting Legolas in Mirkwood. On the wall of elf’s chamber there is a hide of fell beast hanged
Gimli: whoa, Lego, how many arrows did you spend to get this thing?
Legolas: 47
Gimli: And how many times did you hit it?
Legolas: never
Gimli: yet how did you manage to kill it?
Legolas: It suffocated because of laughter

Loslote, I am now almost suffocating from laughter! Loved it lol!

And my own one:
Pippin: Where are we going?
Merry: We're just pippin to Mordor!

Lame, I know, but it was the best I could come up with
If anyone had happened to look out of a window on the east side of the palace, they might have noticed two figures in the darkness, dancing in a square bordered by living plants, out of time with the dancers inside but perfectly in time with each other.
findemaxam48
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on: February 13, 2014 04:02
Oh, that is funny. The Legolas one and the Merry/Pippin one. Well done, Wolfie!
We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.
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