Welcome Guest 

Register

<< First3334353637Last >>
Author Topic:
findemaxam48
Council Member
Posts: 9188
Send Message
Avatar
Post
on: March 28, 2015 04:31
Haha, that is the world that I live in. And then i turn into a vampire, getting sunburned the second the sun is out...I carry sunscreen in my bag.

Are there any takers for next weeks Picture Friday?
We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.
Mareth_Ravenlock
Council Member
Posts: 6138
Send Message
Post
on: March 28, 2015 08:25
Good job on the prompt, Maxie.

I'll do it, unless someone else wants to.
~Llama Warrior of Nessa~ Sometimes, I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast. - Lewis Carrol
findemaxam48
Council Member
Posts: 9188
Send Message
Avatar
Post
on: March 28, 2015 09:04
Mareth, first come, first served. You get this Friday, April 3rd.

We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.
Mareth_Ravenlock
Council Member
Posts: 6138
Send Message
Post
on: March 28, 2015 10:46
Okay!

So, I will probably not actually have this prompt up until tomorrow...at least, I'm hoping it will be done enough by that time.
~Llama Warrior of Nessa~ Sometimes, I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast. - Lewis Carrol
Cenor
Council Member
Posts: 5267
Send Message
Post
on: March 29, 2015 10:48
My prompt! This would be an immoral me

I smoothed the scroll over the smooth topped table and twirled my quill anxiously between my thumb and forefinger. Glen, our Leader, tall and an honorable man is pacing the room awaiting our former friend, Adria Worth. It was a sad day that we learned of her treachery and— as I have written before—I have often wondered what made her turn. She was always so cheerful, boosting the morale of the band every time she visited. It is hard to imagine that it was all a lie. Glen still hasn’t recovered from his injury, he keeps rubbing it subconsciously. Ah, here comes the guards leading Adria, she is standing tall and her head is held high as if she was the captor not the captured. Her dark hair is tangled and dirt stains her pale cheeks but she radiates power and indifference. The bonds around her wrists, hanging before her, seem as if they are just for show.
“So, Glen, we meet again,” Adria drawls, “last I saw you were dying.”
“No thanks to you,” Glen growls.
“I didn’t mean to make you suffer. Too bad the Healers got to you faster than I expected. I had planned you a glorious funeral,” she smiles cunningly.
“Why did you do it Adria?”
“You’re still as gullible as you were before I stabbed you,” she chuckles. “You assume that I was “corrupted” after I joined your little group. Don’t you see? I was hired to take you out from the beginning.”
Glen crosses the room and slams a fist on my table startling me, but fortunately my quill was in the ink pot, for I would have made a nasty blot on my paper otherwise. Looking down at the scroll Glen sighs,
“Always writing aren’t you Malcolm?” he asks.
“Yes sir,” I reply, “just like you said too. “Always write boy, because words will last longer than the songs”,” I quoted.
“Then keep writing,” he whispers.
He walks back towards Adria his hand twitching on his sword hilt. She smiles, her nonchalance attitude is wearing on the Leader’s nerves. She is playing a game; her dark crafty eyes betray her inner thoughts.
“Everything was a lie!” he states menacingly.
“A lie you believed,” Adria drones, “and fell in love with.”
“I…” Glen stammered.
He glances at her guards, they remained stoic in expression but I know that they are listening intently. I myself am not surprised; I saw our Leader’s infatuation long before he did, long before we knew about Adria. Glen motions the guards away and despite their protests on his “safety” they leave. But he lets me stay, to write.
“I was the perfect one,” she continued, “with allure, innocence, and curiosity all rolled up into one intriguing woman that caught your attention. You loved me then, and you still love me now.”
“You are a criminal, I cannot love a traitor.” Glen replied.
“Ah, but I’m still here,” Adria counters, “Law dictates that traitors be hung for their crimes if caught.”
“That does not mean that you are safe.” Glen said, “I could order your execution this minute.”
“But you can’t, or won’t.” she replies.
Helplessly, our Leader glares at the wilily woman before him, she twists his words against him. Not afraid to kill or be killed; life was just a game to be played to her. If you won, you won; if you lost, you lost. Nothing more, nothing less. Adria walks closer to Glen her voice assuming a tempting tone.
“You could just tell everyone that I was your spy…no one need ever know…”
“No!” Glen shouts. “You will be hung tomorrow, at dawn.”
Her smile fades, “If that is how you want it.”
He turns his back and starts to walk away


I am back now. It is dark and cold in my room the candle offers but little heat. The Healers said I should stay in my bed, but I have been in bed for 15 days already and cannot stand it. I must write what happened.
Adria kicked our Leader in the back as he walked away, sending him to the floor. Before he could recover she had placed a foot on his sword and knocked him out with a chair over his head. Taking his knife she cut her bonds quickly. The guards rushed in, but she grabbed Glen’s bow off of his back and killed them quickly. I had ducked under the table drawing my little knife and hurled it at her; it struck above her shoulder on the wall rattling to the ground. She shot me in the shoulder, and the coward that I am blacked out as she leaped out the window, armed and free. She escaped, and will, no doubted, be working her evil in another country ere long. Our leader is fine now, only suffering some severe headaches as well as heartaches. That crafty woman had broken his heart, I can see it. He spoke to me late yesterday, apologizing for his behavior and for being foolish enough to get me injured and two men killed. I told him not to worry about me and he smiled weakly.
“Keep writing Malcolm, the world will need your account to make sure that evil is not made good and good is not made evil.”
I wonder what he means…
I must go now, the Healer is approaching. Farewell for now.
Image "Every good pirate has an alias" Felix glanced down, looking at contraption around the stump of his wrist. "Hook," he answered. "My name will be Hook."
Mareth_Ravenlock
Council Member
Posts: 6138
Send Message
Post
on: March 29, 2015 01:01
Good job, Cenor! Intriguing prompt.

I was trying to work on this prompt today - really, I was. But I'm just not evil overlord material. I wrote some today, though, that might possibly work. We'll see. I'm struggling to make myself evil, and not just obnoxious.

But anywho, I did write a response to the picture prompt. Here it is, folks! Instructive criticism appreciated.

------------

I stood by helplessly, watching as my home went up in flames. He'd said this is what would happen if I didn't give it to him. I hadn't truly believed him until I woke to the smell of fire, my lungs filled with smoke.

Tears stung my eyes as the firefighters struggled to put the flames out. Everything I had worked so hard to rebuild - gone with one fiery blast.

Why me?

The question echoed inside my head, but there was no answer.

"Excuse me, miss?"

The voice of a man jerked me back to reality.

I turned and saw the man who had spoken. He was dressed in the uniform of a police officer.

I sighed inwardly. I had no desire to answer any questions right now, but I resigned myself to my fate.

"Yes sir?"

He pulled out a notepad and pen. "A few questions. What time did the fire start?"

"I don't know, sir. I was asleep. By the time I woke up to the smell of smoke, my watch read 11:51 pm."

The man nodded and made a note. "And do you have any idea what might have caused the fire?"

He was treading dangerous ground now. "I believe," I replied carefully, "That the fire was deliberate."

The officer looked skeptical. "How do you figure that?" he asked, one eyebrow raised.

I tried to mask my frustration. I didn't have much proof, of course, but I knew that the fire was intentional. I also knew that if I tried to explain my situation to this man, he would think I was crazy.

“Look,” I said as evenly as I could. “I just know."

“Could you elaborate a bit?” he asked, in an infuriatingly patient tone.

I sighed. How to make it sound convincing, and assure him I that I was sane?

“I've seen a man...watching me. He follows me sometimes. And whenever he's near, I get this feeling like...I don't know, like he might hurt me.”

“A stalker?” he asked, and I seized on his words.

“Yes! Yes, that's it. A stalker. When I came home tonight, I saw him lurking around my house. He darted off as soon as he saw me, of course. I went inside and locked all the doors and windows. After about two hours, I went to bed. It was 9:30 then. And the next thing I know, I'm waking up to my smoke alarm blaring and tongues of fire licking the walls.”

The police officer listened in silence, occasionally making notes on his paper. “And what leads you to think that this...stalker came back and started the fire?”

I thought of the note that I had found on my porch. It was the one small bit of evidence I had. I didn't want to show it to this stranger, but knew I had no choice if I was to convince him the fire was indeed deliberate.

Reluctantly, I pulled the crumpled piece of paper from the pocket of my pajama pants and handed it to him.

The note read:

You haven't heeded my warnings. Now you'll pay.

The officer studied the note for a few moments, then tucked it into his own pocket. “I see,” he said, clearly not seeing at all. If he saw, he'd waste no time in calling in the FBI! Yet all he did was stand here, stroking his chin.

I fought the urge to stamp my foot in frustration.

“Sir,” I said through gritted teeth. “Aren't you going to do something? Send out a search party? A tracker? Contact the FBI, maybe?” I could hear the desperation in my own voice now. The man who had caused the fire was dangerous. Far more dangerous than even I had imagined. He didn't care for human life. I had seen that evidenced far too many times in the past. I knew he would stop at nothing to get what he wanted.

I also knew that I would stop at nothing to see him receive justice.

The man chewed the eraser on his pencil thoughtfully. I ground my teeth in impatience.

“No,” he said slowly. “No, I'm afraid there's nothing we can do tonight, Miss...?”

“Kendrick,” I said, trying not to scowl. “Harper Kendrick.”

“Ms. Kendrick, one of my men will escort you to the nearest hotel and book you for the night,” he said.

“We'll see how things look in the morning. You may need to come into the office for further questioning,” he said, with a significant look at his pocket where the note was concealed.

I nodded. “Fine, but there's nothing wrong with my car. I know how to get to a hotel. And I don't really need your people to pay for me, either.” I knew I wasn't being gracious, but at this point, I really didn't care.

The officer was unfazed by my ungrateful disregard for his offer. “Suit yourself.” he said, and walked back to confer with the other officers.

The fire was still raging on, though not as fiercely as it had been. I saw with dismay that there wasn't much left to my home. I fought the tears that threatened to fall once more. I couldn't cry here, in front of all these people.

What I needed was some time alone, to process everything that had happened and to think about what I would do now. I would have to try and rebuild my life. Again.

So I pushed aside the storm of emotions inside me and walked purposefully towards my car. I slid into the driver's seat and reached to turn the key in the ignition.

I groaned in frustration as I realized my keys were in the house.

Which was burning.

Rats.
~Llama Warrior of Nessa~ Sometimes, I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast. - Lewis Carrol
BlueberryMuffins76
Council Member
Posts: 403
Send Message
Post
on: March 29, 2015 01:23
Love it, Mareth! I want to know why she had a stalker! and your ending, wow. I know I never appreciate something as simple as keys until I need them. I can't really put it into words, but it just works really well...maybe someone else knows what I'm trying to say since I obviously don't
One suggestion I have - and I'm sure I'm just being picky - in my writing I look for repeated words (I tend to use "so" quite often, not sure why). I particularly pick up on "said" too (which I try to avoid, but that's just me). So I noticed you used "said" fairly often. You may want to consider some variation to clue your readers in as to how they are saying it. For example, when she's giving the officer her name you could say she provided her name rather than just said it, if this makes sense. Am I being too critical here?
"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13, NIV I'm a fanfiction writer and appreciate reviews! Check me out at https://www.fanfiction.net/u/6434280/BlueberryMuffins76
PSK
Council Member
Posts: 1410
Send Message
Post
on: March 30, 2015 02:17
That's really good Mareth. There seems to be hints of an intriguing backstory to the woman.

My only suggestion would be that she seems more upset about this stalker then about the house. Maybe you could make her a bit more upset? Also the ending, as brilliant as it was, could have been a but more powerful in the same way possibly. Rats, does show her resignation, but that's not what I would say if my keys were in my burning house. I'm also not sure that she would leave her house that quickly seeing as it is burning.
It was a great piece though, and that's just me nit-picking so don't mind!
"Tears unnumbered ye shall shed; and the Valar will fence Valinor against you, and shut you out, so that not even the echo of your lamentation shall pass over the mountains." ~ The Doom of Mandos
Mareth_Ravenlock
Council Member
Posts: 6138
Send Message
Post
on: March 30, 2015 04:02
Thanks! I recently invented Harper from another prompt I found on Pinterest. Still trying to figure out her backstory.

Blue, thanks for pointing that out. Keeping that in mind, I can see how overused 'said' is. I'll be editing it, and I'll try and fix that.

PSK, valid points. Her being more upset about the stalker would make more sense if you (and me) knew more about the situation. But I can definitely see where you're coming from, and I'll try to keep that in mind when I edit.

About the end - "rats" is what she would say. That's her character. Her house is burning, she's thinking about the stalker, she probably had a bad day at work - what's one more bad thing? Honestly, she's more annoyed about the fact that she'll have to swallow her pride and tell the cop she actually does need a ride. Of course...I guess she could have a key attached magnetically on the underside of her car, which would fix the problem. But I hadn't thought of that before, obviously.

I'm sure the piece will change a lot over time, though.

Thanks again for your comments, both of you!
~Llama Warrior of Nessa~ Sometimes, I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast. - Lewis Carrol
findemaxam48
Council Member
Posts: 9188
Send Message
Avatar
Post
on: March 30, 2015 05:52
Nice job!

Happy Prompt Monday!

Prompt 26:

This line of diolauge must appear in your prompt: "Leave him and his little fantasy land."
We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.
PSK
Council Member
Posts: 1410
Send Message
Post
on: March 30, 2015 07:43
Ah okay Mareth. Yes of course, I don't know her story so you are right in that I don't know what she would say. I was just commenting based off what I had read. It was a great piece though!
"Tears unnumbered ye shall shed; and the Valar will fence Valinor against you, and shut you out, so that not even the echo of your lamentation shall pass over the mountains." ~ The Doom of Mandos
Mareth_Ravenlock
Council Member
Posts: 6138
Send Message
Post
on: March 31, 2015 01:20
I can see where you are coming from, PSK. Thanks for the comments! I don't really know what's going to happen with Harper and her story. I already have another story I was coauthoring on that I was trying to write more of, so I didn't exactly need another story to present itself...oh well.

Nice prompt, Maxie! Not sure if I'll get this one or not, but I'd like to try.
~Llama Warrior of Nessa~ Sometimes, I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast. - Lewis Carrol
findemaxam48
Council Member
Posts: 9188
Send Message
Avatar
Post
on: March 31, 2015 10:30
Go for it, Mareth!

Tip Tuesday: "To survive, you must tell stories."- Humberto Eco

Remember, tomorrow starts off our next Mini NaNo for the month of April! 15,000 words this time around!
We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.
findemaxam48
Council Member
Posts: 9188
Send Message
Avatar
Post
on: April 01, 2015 11:13
Tech Wednesday that is being posted on Thursday:

know that a lot of us have partcipated in NaNo in November, but do you know how to use the site to your advantage for the rest of the year? Check out the forums. There is a crazy amount of discussion going on about plots and characters and stuff, and you can give help and get help. My caution is that some of the langauge and topics discussed are kind of...not family friendly. But they are easy to avoid if you do not want to take part in such. Four out of five overall.

Update Thursday! I am 600 words in to our new Mini NaNo.

We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.
BlueberryMuffins76
Council Member
Posts: 403
Send Message
Post
on: April 02, 2015 12:32
Wow! Maxie, you amaze me. I think for this new mini NaNo I shall work on a new story called The Carnelian Orc; it's a crossover between LotR & Captain America for those interested. There's really not enough to do on Two Dwarves to continue with that one. But so far, my word count for this story is 0 this month. I'm open to suggestions for this story if anyone has an idea they'd like to see; I'm not sure exactly where I'll take it.
"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13, NIV I'm a fanfiction writer and appreciate reviews! Check me out at https://www.fanfiction.net/u/6434280/BlueberryMuffins76
findemaxam48
Council Member
Posts: 9188
Send Message
Avatar
Post
on: April 04, 2015 03:45
Iknow next to nothing about Marvel,so I will be useless here, Blue. Sorry!

I apologize for my absense,in light of my weather related sinus issues and internet related eye strain, I decided to take a chill pill from technology for a day. I will try to make it on tomorrow, if I can. Happy Easter if I cannot!
We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.
BlueberryMuffins76
Council Member
Posts: 403
Send Message
Post
on: April 04, 2015 07:48
Actually, I know next to nothing about Marvel too, so it's going to be mainly LotR, set in Middle Earth with the characters.
I hope you feel better, Maxie!
"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13, NIV I'm a fanfiction writer and appreciate reviews! Check me out at https://www.fanfiction.net/u/6434280/BlueberryMuffins76
findemaxam48
Council Member
Posts: 9188
Send Message
Avatar
Post
on: April 06, 2015 02:48
Happy Belated Easter!

I will be back in a few hours with the prompt.
We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.
findemaxam48
Council Member
Posts: 9188
Send Message
Avatar
Post
on: April 06, 2015 04:52
Prompt Number 28:

Grab the book nearest you. Turn to page 51. Look at the first sentence of the last paragraph on that page. Use the sentence to start the intro to your prompt.
We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.
BlueberryMuffins76
Council Member
Posts: 403
Send Message
Post
on: April 06, 2015 06:00
Yes, Happy Belated Easter to everyone!
Interesting prompt! I'll have to see if I can do anything with this one.
"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13, NIV I'm a fanfiction writer and appreciate reviews! Check me out at https://www.fanfiction.net/u/6434280/BlueberryMuffins76
findemaxam48
Council Member
Posts: 9188
Send Message
Avatar
Post
on: April 07, 2015 01:42
So, the book closest to me was my Bible. My opening sentence is Exodus 13:20.

After leaving, they camped on the edge of the desert. I watched them from a distance, still shaking with my anger. My enemy has come to my halls. My enemy is camping on my land.

As angry as I am about the situation, my brothers are even more furious than I am. Gabriel paces, too restless to stay in one place for too long. Adrian merely glares out the window at them, as if his stare could make their ranks melt. Randy sits beside me, not moving, not shouting. Just being there. For me.

"We have to get to them first," Randy tells me softly,leaning on my arm. He's tired. Tiny braids stick out of his hair from where our little neice put them. One is even tied with a pink ribbon,but he leaves it be. I resist the temptation to pick at the fraying edge.

"We have a bad vantage point for that," I admit. "We have never had to fight them off on our own soil before."

Gabriel slams his foot down,and dust from the ancient sandstone puffs into the air. "Exactly!" He nearly shouts,and his voice echoes in the room. "They haven't fought here! They don't know the terrain. We do."

Adrian turns away from the window, and for a moment, his dark hair is framed by blue skies and churning oceans. A gull shrieks. "They have guns," He says softly.

I reach behind my waist and pull my pistol from my belt. "So do we," I say.

__________________

Tip Tuesday!

"You can't blamethewriter for what the characters say." Never let the people around you inhibit your characters and diolauge! Write for yourself, not your readers! They can sense uncertaintly...O.O



We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.
BlueberryMuffins76
Council Member
Posts: 403
Send Message
Post
on: April 07, 2015 07:24
Great tip, & great prompt, Maxie! I especially think I shall love Randy; if he's the type who lets his niece braid his hair, & then leave it, he's a great guy. That's just totally cute!
"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13, NIV I'm a fanfiction writer and appreciate reviews! Check me out at https://www.fanfiction.net/u/6434280/BlueberryMuffins76
findemaxam48
Council Member
Posts: 9188
Send Message
Avatar
Post
on: April 07, 2015 07:40
Haha, thanks, Blue! Do I sense a fangirl? For one of my characters?

*faints, and then immedietly gets back up.*

Oh yeah! Forgot to tell you guys that for thismonth of April, I would like us all to join Camp NaNoWriMo. Just go to the site and click the link that takes you there. We can set our word count goal to 15,000 and all be Cabin Mates. Check it out and let me know what you think.
We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.
PSK
Council Member
Posts: 1410
Send Message
Post
on: April 07, 2015 10:08
Umm was Mareth meant to do the pic this friday? Maybe she can do it next week?
"Tears unnumbered ye shall shed; and the Valar will fence Valinor against you, and shut you out, so that not even the echo of your lamentation shall pass over the mountains." ~ The Doom of Mandos
findemaxam48
Council Member
Posts: 9188
Send Message
Avatar
Post
on: April 08, 2015 09:31
Yes she was. Anyone can do it whenever though, even if we have multiple people.

Happy tech Wednesday! App day: I found one called "Wrimo Companion", that basically takes you to your NaNo page. It shows your statistics, you can edit your word count, and see how your friends are doing on their statistics. I give it a five out of five.
We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.
BlueberryMuffins76
Council Member
Posts: 403
Send Message
Post
on: April 08, 2015 10:23
@ Maxie ~Blushes~ Well, I would like to know more about Randy before I admit to being a fangirl, but I'm likely one in the making
"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13, NIV I'm a fanfiction writer and appreciate reviews! Check me out at https://www.fanfiction.net/u/6434280/BlueberryMuffins76
rhodilwen
Council Member
Posts: 828
Send Message
Avatar
Post
on: April 08, 2015 11:07
Hi, guys. I know I've dropped off the face of the earth, but school has been holding me prisoner. As for this prompt, the closest book to me is my neuroscience textbook. I'll see if I can do something with it. lol!

Do we do updates today? If so, I started working on a serial story for my blog that I'll start posting at the end of May. It's the one based off the prompt I did forever ago with the girl with angel wings. So far I'm at 3K words. I've also planned out about three stories in a series that are light fairy tale re-tellings but with guys. I think I'm going to go buy some notebooks and new pens this weekend.

Happy belated Easter everyone!
The men of the east may spell the stars/ and times and triumphs mark/ But the men signed with the cross of Christ/ go gaily in the dark- G.K. Chesterton ~Member of the Realm of Ulmo~ http://clairembanschbach.wordpress.com/
findemaxam48
Council Member
Posts: 9188
Send Message
Avatar
Post
on: April 09, 2015 03:52
Great job rhodil! Good to see you back!

I am currently 3006 words into the mini NaNo. Keep up the good work, all!
We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.
BlueberryMuffins76
Council Member
Posts: 403
Send Message
Post
on: April 09, 2015 07:14
Rhodil, I am so looking forward to your fairy tale remixes! I totally love that kind of stuff! & great job!
I'm at 2201 words so far, but I haven't been doing much on this story. I'm not quite sure what I want to do yet, so I need to finish a later scene & then figure out how to get up to that point. I've got a general plan but no idea how I'll get there lol
"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13, NIV I'm a fanfiction writer and appreciate reviews! Check me out at https://www.fanfiction.net/u/6434280/BlueberryMuffins76
rhodilwen
Council Member
Posts: 828
Send Message
Avatar
Post
on: April 09, 2015 11:58
Thanks! I don't know if I'll be able to keep up with the 15K word count goal, but I'll attempt to write when I have some time.

Blue- I can't wait till I can start in on it!!! But I have some other projects, and school, that I need to finish up first! But I can see about sharing when I do get started.
The men of the east may spell the stars/ and times and triumphs mark/ But the men signed with the cross of Christ/ go gaily in the dark- G.K. Chesterton ~Member of the Realm of Ulmo~ http://clairembanschbach.wordpress.com/
BlueberryMuffins76
Council Member
Posts: 403
Send Message
Post
on: April 09, 2015 01:15
Yes! Please do share! But school must come first!
"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13, NIV I'm a fanfiction writer and appreciate reviews! Check me out at https://www.fanfiction.net/u/6434280/BlueberryMuffins76
elfmaiden77
Council Member
Posts: 135
Send Message
Post
on: April 10, 2015 02:04
Okay, my reply to the Monday prompt. Yes, it's a little weird and gory and badly written, I know. Any constructive criticism would be lovely though! (And yes, I do change from past to present ) The first sentence is page 51 of A Study in Scarlet, a Sherlock Holmes mystery.



“There are two ways out of the room,” cried Ferrier, “There is the door, and there is the window. Choose quickly, or you choose this. His eyes were wild as he brandished his rifle in my direction.
I looked warily at it.
“Easy, Ferrier, Easy,” I said in a placating voice. Maybe I could talk him through this.
“I will not be easy on you! You would probably set this gun at me the instant I let it down! Get out of here NOW!” His voice had risen almost to a scream.
“Just tell me where you hid the gold, and I'll go.” That rifle was not looking safe, but I was getting close to desperate. The one man in the world I thought was trustworthy had turned on me. I found one morning that he had taken my share of the booty and skipped out. I realized, ironically, that I should have expected this if I “trusted” a man to help me rob banks! I had tracked him through all of California until I caught him in this cabin. And now I was unarmed.
“Never!”
I could see him trembling now, I think he genuinely liked me. I had no use for him though, except that his brawn matched my wits excellently. His hand was shaking, but now the gun was pointed at my chest. I took a cautious step forward.

My mistake.

His finger squeezed the trigger, and there was a loud report. The trembling fingers of this crack shot had saved my life, but hot blood coursed down my chest and I gritted my teeth as as I tried to wrest the gun from him. We grappled for the trigger, and my fingers pressed! He staggered back with a shocked look on his face, never to bother me again. I laughed hoarsely, then fell against the wall because of the pain it caused.

*********

I must stop dwelling on these things. There is a bigger problem at hand. The room is fast disappearing, being replaced with a bright whiteness. My body! Where is my body?

So this is what is like to die.
findemaxam48
Council Member
Posts: 9188
Send Message
Avatar
Post
on: April 10, 2015 06:44
Hello again, elfmaiden! So nice to see you here again!

I enjoyed your prompt! One of my favorite things about this here thread is being able to get a feel for all of all of your writing styles. I like how your print kind of just segued into a very ghostly thing. .

Just gonna let you all know in advance...my tablet is no longer working, but thankfully I have a wonderful sister who is letting me use hers until I get my laptop on June. I am not using a keyboard to type and I am so not used to this whole type on the device thing. I may bone messy and typographical error filled, but hey, this stubborn Elf will still be on everyday.
We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.
findemaxam48
Council Member
Posts: 9188
Send Message
Avatar
Post
on: April 13, 2015 08:27
Prompt Number 29:

"You think you have a choice, and that's sweet, and all, but you have a job. And you aren't doing it right."
We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.
Mareth_Ravenlock
Council Member
Posts: 6138
Send Message
Post
on: April 14, 2015 05:32
Hey everyone!

I'm really sorry I never posted on Picture Friday. And that I haven't posted in a while. I've been pretty busy of late, but now things are looking to calm down. Hopefully I'll get back into posting regularly here.

Nice prompts, Maxie and elfmaiden!

Maxie, the NaNo site isn't loading correctly for me, so I'm afraid I won't be able to join Camp on there. I would do so otherwise, as it sounds like a lot of fun! Oh well, maybe in July or whenever the next camp will be.

I'm also sorry to say I've not gotten any writing done for the month yet. I'm really hoping to change that. We'll just have to see.

Do I need to put up a picture for this Friday, or not? Someone else can do it if they want to. And again, I'm sorry I didn't get to put one up last time!

Keep up the good work, all!
~Llama Warrior of Nessa~ Sometimes, I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast. - Lewis Carrol
<< First3334353637Last >>
Members Online
Print Friendly, PDF & Email