Now Mr. Frodo Baggins was a really clumsy guy,
On the first day of our quest I’ll tell you what went by,
Got up on the table-top
Jumped up in the air!
Landed on the crockery and broke a couple chairs!
He needed first aid on our first day
First aid on our first day
First aid on our first day!
You could buy the Shire with the Mithril that we paid!

Now Mr. Samwise Gamgee was a really clumsy guy,
On the second day of our quest I’ll tell you what went by,
Tried to beat up Aragorn
With a broken chair!
Read a note from Gandalf
Found out he’s Isildur’s heir!
He needed first aid on our second day
First aid on our second day
First aid on our second day!
You could buy the Shire with the Mithril that we paid!

Now Meriadoc Brandybuck was a real clumsy guy,
On the third day of our quest I’ll tell you what went by,
Lost all of our horses,
Even the ponies!
Then we had to buy one from that mean old Bill Ferny!
We needed financial aid on our third day
Financial aid on our third day
Financial aid on our third day!
You could buy the Shire with the Mithril that we paid!

Now Mr. Peregrin Took was a REALLY clumsy guy
On the fourth day of our quest I’ll tell you what went by,
Found no second breakfast and
Thought that he was dead!
Strider threw an apple that did hit him on the head!
He needed first aid on our fourth day
First aid on our fourth day
First aid on our fourth day!
You could buy the Shire with the Mithril that we paid!

Now Aragorn Elessar was a really clumsy guy,
On the fifth day of our quest I’ll tell you what went by,
Climbed a hill called Weathertop,
Trying to make haste!
Fought a bunch of Ringwraiths and set fire to one’s face!
He needed first aid on our fifth day
First aid on our fifth day
First aid on our fifth day!
You could buy the Shire with the Mithril that we paid!

Now Legolas Greenleaf was, well, not a clumsy guy,
On the sixth day of our quest I’ll tell you what went by,
We all stayed in Rivendell,
Didn’t do a thing!
Except for Frodo who volunteered to take the Ring.
No one needed first aid on our sixth day
First aid on our sixth day
First aid on our sixth day!
You could buy the Shire with the Mithril that we saved!

Now, Gandalf the Grey Wizard was a really clumsy guy,
On the seventh day of our quest I’ll tell you what went by,
Crossed the bridge of Khazad-dum,
Took a little risk!
Fought with a huge Balrog and fell into the Abyss!
He needed first aid on our seventh day
First aid on our seventh day
First aid on our seventh day!
You could buy the Shire with the Mithril that we paid!

Now Gimli, son of Gloin wad a really clumsy guy,
On the eighth day of our quest I’ll tell you what went by,
Met the Lady of the wood,
And she was so fair,
That he fell in love with her and asked for just three hairs!
He needed first aid on our eighth day
First aid on our eighth day
First aid on our eighth day!
You could buy the Shire with the Mithril that we paid!

Now Boromir of Gondor was a really clumsy guy,
On the ninth day of our quest I’ll tell you what went by,
Tried to take the Ring from Frodo,
Fought a bunch of orcs!
Was shot full of arrows and got sat on by a spork!
He needed first aid on our ninth day
First aid on our ninth day
First aid on our ninth day!
You could buy the Shire with the Mithril that we paid!
You could buy the Shire with the Mithril that we paid!
You could buy the Shire with the Mithril that we paid! Paid! Paid! Paid!