Gollum for Governor?
August 8, 2003, 4:15 p.m.
In a press conference held earlier today in downtown Los Angeles, Gollum officially announced his candidacy in the upcoming California Governor Recall Election.
Gollum will be running for neither the Republican nor the Democratic party. He is the first recorded representative in any election for the ‘Precious Party’. Little is known about the Precious Party since its creation last spring. However this new party has quickly gained momentum and finds new party members by the hundreds. Gollum’s party support is seemingly enough as he was able to submit 5,472 signatures of California registered voters, while only 65 are required.
Surprisingly, Gollum was able to post the $3,500 filing fee due to his backer: George Lucas. When asked why he had decided to support Gollum in his candidacy, Lucas replied, “I was going to back Yoda but…well…he died.” When pressed further, Lucas stated, “I’ve got all this money and nothing to do. Plus the little guy is just so cute! And if Arnold and Gary Coleman have a chance, nothing is holding this guy down!”
So what does our new candidate have to say about his bid in the upcoming election? He proposes to rid California of “nasssty industrial factories” and return the area to its natural state, or a slightly altered version: swampland. He also proposes a new solution to the energy crisis that has plagued the state for some time: “When the yellow face goes down…nasssty lights stay off.” When the problem of the decreasing school budgets arose Gollum merely replied, “Teach them about fisssshesss…” In fact, Gollum would like to see California return to the bartering system, using fish as currency instead of dollars. Representatives of the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA) could not be reached for comment.
33 Comments
Too true…Just about anyone can run for office these days, can’t they?
That is too funny! i would vote for gollum.
Lol! George lucas!!! ROFLMAO!!!! arg, i could see him saying that too. *grrr* nassssty george lucasss we hates jarjra, we hatesss him.
I would vote for Gollum
This is so funny! i would vote for Gollum if i lived in california. Thanks to George Lucas! HAHA!
LOL!!!! He’s got my vote! 🙂 Too bad I don’t live in California anymore. But he’s better then those around here in office! Let him run for president!!!!
That was extremely hilarious. I love it even more, because it annoys me with all these stars and such trying to become politicians.
Well, you have my vote, Gollum. 😉
Hysterical. It’s awsome.
WOW that was strange! I would vote for Gollum, I like his ‘Precious Party’! It would be very… interesting… to have him as governor! *gollum, gullom*
someone has a lot of time on their hands. lol well i would like to vote for gollum, but i dont live in califorinia. that was really funny, scpeciall the fissshhhssss…. funny!!!
This rox
I thought this was really funny. Unfortunately, I think Gollum would do a lot better job than a lot of the canidates running. I live in CA, and well, I rolled my eyes in discust at my sample ballot… I vote for Gollum!!!
Vote Precious Party!!!
Holy crap! To tell you the truth, your story has produced the most laughter I’ve thought in my mind for a while! Gollum can help pull me out of depression. Thank you very much.
🙂
this is cute!!!! Gollum would have my vote. it’s just preciousssssssss.
HA! i was cracking up when I read this! Gollum has my vote!
he will be running for president next.
And it is true about they anyone being ableto run.
Seems like everyone’s running, why not? Wow, 5,000 signatures! Go Gollum!
Next thing you know, he’ll be trying to take over the world. I would vote for him if he did. the Precious commands me to.
HMM. that sounds funny that Gollum wants to be Governer of Cali. But He gets my Vote. But I think Legolas should run for President of The USA he he he 🙂
“In fact, Gollum would like to see California return to the bartering system, using fish as currency instead of dollars.”
Ha ha ha! This is really funny; good job. 🙂
vote for GOLLUM ! HES OUR PRECIOUSSSS! EXTREMELY FUNNY!
Sadly, it’s true. I think he might do better than AH-nold. *laughs hystericaly*
I love it!!! He’d probably do better than most people to…..Anyway, Vote for Gollum! Precioussssssssssss forever!
XD THE PRECIOUSSSSS!!!XD We need to have T-shirts made.XD They need to say “Gollum For Governor”.XD People would think we’re crazy,but,then again,people already think I’M crazy.XD
Haha that would be funny to see what his portrait will look like next to all the other governors! And gollum can’t possible be WORSE then any of our other political leaders.
But I would still rather vote smeagol then gollum. 😉
Haha that would be funny to see what his portrait will look like next to all the other governors! Vote Precious party!
But I would still rather vote smeagol then gollum. 😉
Eh, I’d vote for him. (Now to convince my parents to join the Precious Party…)
vote for Gollum!
Brilliant……
Hahahahahahaha
definitly need a “Precious party” shirt
I’m with the Precious Party.
I would completely and utterly back Gollum’s preciousss party.
Gollum for governor? Interesting. Can’t say I wouldent be scared!
Hilarious!