A long long time ago in the Realm of Vaire, the lovely Elvishmusician attempted to rebel against the powers of corruption which had been overtaking the realm. So on the 10th day of May, she came up with a secret plan to redecorate Mordor. It wasn’t long before Rulea, Laergellwen, morcollo, delerithoflorien, Voronwevinyamar and myself joined in the fight. The battle waged for nearly six months but in the end it seems the uncorrupted weavers of Vaire have won and the newly decorated Mordor is open for business. Please join us below for the Grand Opening Tour.

Welcome guests to the Grand Opening of Ardae. I am Dolwen and I will be your tour guide today. As you will soon see, The Shadow no longer lies in Mordor! The land was purchased by the uncorrupted Weavers of Vaire from King Elessar in F.A. 100. Since then extensive renovations have taken place. Experts were brought in from all over Middle-Earth. The result are these luxury facilities you see in front of you. There is something to please everyone whether you be elf, dwarf, man or hobbit. If you will all please board the trolley the tour will begin.

You will notice as we go through the front gate previously called the Morannon, that things are much changed in this land. Notice the exotic flowering vines that cover the gate. These vines are exclusive to Ardae and grow nowhere else in Middle-Earth. So please don’t pick the flowers.

The first stop is Udun where you will find our hospitality staff ready to assist you with your check-in or any questions that might arise. If you look to your right you will see our first class stables where you will be provided with horses and carts for your traveling needs during your stay. On the left you will notice several restaurants and gift shop, which cater to the needs of every race.

As we pass in, you will notice that Ardae is surrounded by mountain ranges. These offer camping grounds, hiking trails, spelunking and much more.

Our next stop will be Mt. Doom. As we approach you will notice the fires have been greatly reduced. Many beautiful trees and flower beds have been planted at the base. The roadway up the mountain has been completely cleaned and repaired and guard rails have been installed for your safety. Sammath Naur has been renovated and turned into a coffee shop. This is a great place to sit around the fires on big comfy sofas and chat or maybe roast some marshmallows or sausages. The shop also features fresh popcorn, as well as chocolate and caramel fountains. However, the main attraction is the mithril plaque marking the place where Frodo Baggins of the Shire stood. By the way, the shop also sells Frodo Lives novelties.

We will now move on to the other side of the mountain where you will find a luxurious spa tucked away. It is a great place to relax in the hot mud baths or the saunas.

Next we will go by the Ruins of Barad-dur which have become an archaeological dig. You may sign up at the hospitality counter to take part in the dig. However, we require that security check all items you might find. We wouldn’t want any problems with magic rings now would we. This site is also the home of our state of the art Academy of Evil Training Center. So there is no need to worry about those nasty trolls, orcs and dragons as they have all been converted and trained. Many are now employed by Ardae. We also have Glorfindel as head of security so rest assured that your stay with us will be a peaceful one.

Next on the tour is Gorgoroth which has been beautifully converted into our very own Lothlorien forest with special thanks to the elves. The outdoors man will feel right at home here. There are many cabins and camp grounds as well as hiking trails. In the center you will find a large lawn that is perfect for parties. We have our very own party tree along with steamers, lanterns and banners. The party lawn is always decorated. It is the perfect place for games such as cricket and croquet. There are also many tables and barbecue grills for all of your party needs.

If you look to your left as we head down to the sea you will see the construction of a theme park taking place. Upon completion this spring our theme park will be the home of the largest roller coaster in Middle-Earth.

Here we are at the highlight of our tour, the Sea of Nurnen. It is now a beach resort. Surrounding the sea on three sides you will see our luxurious cabin each with a private dock and row boat. The sea has been stocked with tropical fish and features a coral reef for diving and snorkeling. The main strip has a large board walk with fine dining and shopping as well as night life. You will also find booths for renting sailboat, water skis and beach umbrellas.

Our final stop will be Minas Ardae formerly Minas Morgul. The facility has been completely renovated into a luxury hotel. As you can see the entrance is lined with weeping cherry trees. You will also find a garden here with gazebos, fountains and a butterfly garden. The perfect spot to relax. The breathe taking lobby features a five star restaurant and bar and the first floor is the home of our fabulous nursery. Some of the features of our nursery are bouncy castles, stuffed animal room, pastel wallpaper with bunnies and a game room. Your child will feel right at home here while you and your spouse enjoy an evening out.

As we conclude our tour and head back to the main gate, I would like to draw your attention to a few thing. First the former Morgai which is now a fun filled ski resort. Also, the Tower of Cirith Ungol which is now a multi- theater cinema complex featuring all the latest movies with digital picture and sound. And last to the pass of Cirith Ungol which is the perfect place to take in the sunset at the end of your day.

This concludes our tour. If you would like to make reservations please see the hospitality desk on the way out. Thank you for visiting with us today.

Print Friendly, PDF & Email