To the tune of “American Pie” or Wierd Al Yancovic’s “The Saga Begins”

“This Aragorn Guy”

A long, long time ago
In the shire far away
Middle-earth was under an attack
So Sam and Merry and young Pip
Joined me on my perilous trip,
To destroy the ring and get a little slack.
But the road was very dangerous
the black riders tried to kill us
we escaped from the Nazgul,
Our packs were heavy and full.
We ran into the town of Bree,
and went to the Prancing Pony
but unfortunately I was seen,
that’s where we found this man…

Oh my, my this here Aragorn guy
He’s a ranger he’s a stranger – and he’s just kind of shy
He says he’s king, but it might be a lie,
“Can we really trust this guy?”
“Can we really trust this guy?”

Even though he’s really brave,
he really, really needs to shave
but he can use a sword they say.
Ah, do you see him hitting on Arwen,
Though he’s 87 and she’s born who knows when,
Yeah, he’s probably gonna marry her someday
Well, we went into Moria dark,
And Gandalf made a small remark
“this foe is beyond you”
“Run! I’ll help you through.”
Gandalf fell into the dark,
we rested at Lothlorien’s gray bark,
At Amon-Hen Boromir disembarked
and I went on my way.

I quietly sang’ …
Oh my, my this here Aragorn guy
He’s a ranger he’s a stranger – and he’s just kind of shy
He says he’s king, but it might be a lie,
“Can we really trust this guy?”
“Can we really trust this guy?”

Now I went with Samwise you see,
we walked far and eventually
We got Gollum to lead the way,
The Uruk-hai were running fast,
And the plains of Rohan sure were vast,
So Aragorn had to move quickly, Oh, Eomer was impressed of course,
He let him borrow, a good horse,
They met Gandalf then,
And went to Theoden
Saruman’s army then appeared,
And Gimli said “Now listen here”
“Just stick it in your pointy ear”
“I will win this game”

He was singing …
Oh my, my this here Aragorn guy
He’s a ranger he’s a stranger – and he’s just kind of shy
He says he’s king, but it might be a lie,
“Can we really trust this guy?”
“Can we really trust this guy?”

Then, Aragorn got Anduril
Into the paths of the dead still,
Gimli would’ve liked to stay
We all fought in that epic war
And it wasn’t long at all before
Aragorn rode a ship and saved the day, And in the end the witch king died
Some walls blew up and some soldiers fried
A lot of orcs were croakin’
Bara-dur was broken,
And we got rid of that evil ring,
And everybody started to sing,
The ranger, he became the king,
And we came home again

And I was singing …
Oh my, my this here Aragorn guy
He’s a ranger he’s a stranger – and he’s just kind of shy.
He says he’s king, but it might be a lie,
“Can we really trust this guy?”
“Can we really trust this guy?”

We were singing …
Oh my, my this here Aragorn guy
He’s a ranger not a stranger – and he’s no longer shy
He became King and rules Gondor on high,
“Of course we can trust this guy”

~Samwisetelcontar