ALL GONDOR LAW REPORTS
1 Elessar /FA 1

Suit for defamation
Plaintiff Faramir, son of Denethor, Steward of Gondor & Prince of Ithilien
Defendant Peter Jackson, cineast, of Wellington, NZ

The Court was convened to consider the following complaints brought by the Plaintiff:

(1) That the Defendant, groundlessly and without adducing evidence, accused the Plaintiff of military incompetence in that he allowed the enemy to walk into Osgiliath without offering opposition;

(2) That the Defendant let it be understood that the Plaintiff had showed further military incompetence by leading a charge in broad daylight against a heavily defended position, thus causing needless loss of life and compromising the security of the city and fortress of Minas Tirith.

(3) That the Defendant implied that the Plaintiff had an unbalanced and immature attitude to life, manifested in an excessive desire to please his father, which gravely compromised his conduct and judgement;

(4) That the Defendant let it be understood that the Plaintiff permitted men under his command to offer needless violence to prisoners in their custody, for whom he was personally responsible;

(5) That the Defendant further let it be understood that the Plaintiff endangered the safety of the entire world by unjustifiably detaining one Frodo Baggins and impeding an important mission which had been entrusted to the said Frodo Baggins;

(6) That the Defendant let it be understood that the Plaintiff had in earlier years neglected his studies and wasted his time in idle day dreaming.

A jury was summoned, but not sworn because it was found to consist of equal numbers of Wenhamites and Faramites, who were attacking one another with hardback editions of LoTR and assorted DVDs, many of which were found to be poisoned. They were removed and a fresh jury was sworn in.

Counsel for the Plaintiff summonsed a number of witnesses, several of whom were challenged by the Defendant’s counsel on the grounds that they were, in the most generally accepted sense of the term, dead, or in two cases, translated into another dimension. The Judge ruled, however, that the said characters were, in a literary sense, immortal and that their evidence could therefore be allowed to stand.

The Judge then invited Counsel for the Plaintiff to call his first witness.

C. for the P. Call Boromir, son of Denethor.

The witness was then sworn.

C. for the P. You are Boromir, son of Denethor?

Witness I am.

C. for the P. Will you please state your relationship with the Plaintiff?

Witness The Plaintiff is my younger brother.

C. for the P. I understand that as you were the Captain General of Minas Tirith, the Plaintiff was also, in a military sense, your subordinate.

Witness That is so.

C. for the P. In that capacity, did you have confidence in the Plaintiff?

Witness I did.

C. for the P. Did this include trusting him with an independent command?

Witness It depended on the circumstances. Sometimes we worked together, sometimes independently. He was frequently entrusted with an independent command.

C. for the P. Did he ever hold such a command at Osgiliath?

Witness No, he did not.

C. for the P. Will you please explain what happened at Osgiliath when you first had occasion to defend it.

Witness This was in June 3018. We received news that an army out of Mordor had overcome the token force which we kept on the east bank of the River Anduin and was advancing towards the ruins of Osgiliath.

C. for the P. Are these ruins on the east or west bank of the river?

Witness On both. There is, or was, a bridge between the two halves of the city.

C. for the P. ‘Was’ a bridge?

Witness I’m coming to that. On receiving news of this assault –

C. for the P. Where was the Plaintiff at this time?

Witness In Minas Tirith, with me.

C. for the P. Please go on.

Witness On receiving news of the assault, we convened as large a force as could be put together in haste, and having been informed by our scouts that the enemy forces were too large for us to counter-attack, but not supplied with boats, we decided that we could best hold them by destroying the bridge and consolidating our defences on the west bank.

C. for the P. ‘We’?

Witness I was in command. My brother and the other captains were in agreement on this strategy.

C. for the P. Please go on.

Witness You must understand that the bridge was a substantial structure. Dismantling it in haste was not easy. We set the majority of our force to demolish it, leaving the smallest force we considered had a chance of holding the bridge until it was cast down behind us.

C. for the P. And how was this force chosen?

Witness I commanded it. Owing to the dangerous nature of the task, I asked for volunteers to join me.

C. for the P. And the Plaintiff was one of those volunteers?

Witness He was.

C. for the P. Please go on.

Witness The action was successful. We held the bridge, though at high cost, until it was destroyed, making the passage of the river impossible for the enemy for that time.

C. for the P. How many of your force survived?

Witness Four only. We swam for it.

C. for the P. How would you judge the conduct of the Plaintiff on that occasion?

Witness I consider it highly meritorious.

C. for the P. Do you consider that the Plaintiff was in any way to blame for the loss of Osgiliath?

Witness Only the eastern half was lost. And no, I do not consider that he was in any way to blame. The suggestion is ridiculous.

C. for the P. Was Osgiliath abandoned after this?

Witness Not entirely. We continued to patrol the western shore and repel enemy attacks.

C. for the P. Was the Plaintiff at any time responsible for this vigilance?

Witness He was.

C. for the P. Did he perform this task efficiently?

Witness Yes.

C. for the P. Generally speaking, do you find the Plaintiff a reliable person? That is, would you trust his judgment and capacity to make rational decisions?

Witness Entirely.

C. for the P. You would consider him a person of integrity?

Witness Most certainly.

C. for the P. Thank you. You may stand down.

Counsel for the Plaintiff then called Denethor, ex-steward of Gondor. The witness at first objected violently to appearing in a court under a king of the line of Isildur, but being threatened with the complete misrepresentation of his own character on celluloid and everlasting cyber-unpopularity, he reluctantly took the stand and was sworn.

C. for the P. I understand that the Plaintiff is your son.

Witness He is.

C. for the P. Did you at any time have cause for dissatisfaction with his conduct or attitude towards you?

Witness Frequently.

C. for the P. Please explain.

Witness He was stubborn and wayward. He repeatedly followed his own line of conduct and deliberately flouted my wishes.

C. for the P. Would you say he was disrespectful towards you?

Witness Not to my face. He was too clever for that.

C. for the P. Would you say that he was, in general, anxious to please you?

Witness No, I would not.

C. for the P. Would you say that his conduct was frequently influenced by a desire to please you?

Witness On the contrary, it frequently appeared to be influenced by a determination to displease me.

C. for the P. For example?

Witness He frequently associated with and allowed himself to be influenced by a person who is openly ill-disposed to me. When on a mission to Ithilien in March 3019, he not only disobeyed my standing orders, but also allowed – indeed, actively encouraged – a totally unsuitable person to proceed with an attempt to destroy a weapon which, in my hands, would have changed the entire course of the War.

C. for the P. You refer to the Ring of Power.

Witness I do.

C. for the P. I understand that a few days after the incident to which you refer, you ordered the Plaintiff to lead a force in defence of Osgiliath. Is this so?

Witness He accepted a mission which I wished to be carried out. This was not to defend Osgiliath itself, but to prevent the enemy from crossing the River, or if this proved impossible, to put up the best defence possible.

C. for the P. How would you describe his attitude to you when he accepted this mission?

Witness It was, as usual, outwardly respectful. However, he had previously spoken strongly against the idea of such a mission.

C. for the P. And what was the result?

Witness The action was unsuccessful. The passage of the River was won by the enemy and the Pelennor overrun.

C. for the P. Do you consider that the Plaintiff was wholly to blame for this?

Witness [reluctantly, after a pause] No, I do not. The task was an impossible one. Upon reflection I regretted having ordered it.

C. for the P. Thank you. You may stand down. Call Prince Imrahil of Dol Amroth.

C. for the P. Please state your relationship to the Plaintiff.

Witness He is my sister’s son.

C. for the P. I understand that you were instrumental in saving the Plaintiff’s life on the occasion of the action mentioned by the previous witness.

Witness I am happy to think that is so.

C. for the P. Please give us your opinion of the nature of the mission accepted by the Plaintiff on this occasion and of his conduct at that time.

Witness I did not approve of the idea of defending the fords on this occasion. It was impossible that an enemy force the size of that known to be approaching Osgiliath could be defeated by any company that we could afford to send out. It was also highly likely that any such company would be cut off and destroyed when the enemy did get across the River. Moreover, as I said at the time, it was illogical to put such a large effort into defending Osgiliath but not the other known crossing point at Cair Andros.

C. for the P. Would you describe this mission as suicidal?

Witness No. Highly dangerous, yes.

C. for the P. It did not involve charging a strongly defended position in broad daylight?

Witness The suggestion is ridiculous. It was pitch dark at the time. This was the second day with no dawn. The fact is universally attested. It was the enemy that had to attack a defended position. My nephew’s forces inflicted heavy losses on them, but were forced back by sheer weight of numbers.

C. for the P. The last witness has stated that the Plaintiff spoke strongly against this mission. Is that so?

Witness It is.

C. for the P. Did you agree with his opinion?

Witness I did.

C. for the P. Why, then, do you think the Plaintiff accepted the mission?

Witness I think he was goaded. Words were spoken which implied that he lacked the courage which his late brother would have shown on this occasion. Since he had frequently, and in my opinion quite wrongly, been unfavourably compared with his late brother, he now felt compelled to try to take that brother’s place.

C. for the P. How would you judge that decision?

Witness I think it showed loyalty and courage above the common, though it was not consonant with the judgment the Plaintiff normally showed.

C. for the P. Would you say he was driven to it?

Witness Yes, I would.

C. for the P. Was there any other reason why the Plaintiff’s judgment might have been impaired on that occasion?

Witness Not his judgment, but perhaps his equilibrium. I know him to have been deeply affected by the death of his brother.

C. for the P. He was fond of his brother?

Witness They were very devoted. I also believe him to have been suffering already from exhaustion and a fever which subsequently put his life in danger.

C. for the P. How would you describe his execution of the mission?

Witness I consider his conduct to have been excellent. Not only was the enemy delayed for much longer than most of us had anticipated, but a large part of the forces under my nephew’s command was brought back in good order. This I consider to have been due entirely to his leadership.

C. for the P. I understand you brought him back into the City?

Witness I did. When I led the sortie to rescue the returning companies, he was still, as far as I know, unhurt and in charge of the rearguard. It was some time in the next few minutes he was hit. By great good fortune we were able to find him. We administered what first aid we could and, as you say, brought him back into the City.

C. for the P. In normal circumstances, would you say that the Plaintiff was a man of good judgment?

Witness Most certainly.

C. for the P. Mature judgment? He is a person on whom you would rely?

Witness Yes.

C. for the P. Thank you.

C. for the P. Call Gandalf, alias Mithrandir, alias Olórin, alias… oh, never mind, just call him.

C. for the P. Will you please tell us your relationship with the Plaintiff?

Witness You might call him a protégé of mine. I have known him on and off for most of his life.

C. for the P. What is your opinion of him?

Witness I have a very high opinion of him.

C. for the P. We may return to that point. For the moment I should like you to concentrate on the defence of the fords and outer walls in course of the mission described by the two previous witnesses. I understand you, like the previous witness, were against the mission which the Plaintiff accepted?

Witness I was.

C. for the P. Would you agree with the Prince Imrahil’s interpretation of the Plaintiff’s motives in accepting the mission?

Witness Entirely. I also consider him to have been deeply grieved by his father’s attitude towards him at this time.

C. for the P. Would you say that the Plaintiff was put under intolerable pressure?

Witness I think that describes the situation very well.

C. for the P. Let us now pass to the mission itself. I understand you offered assistance to the Plaintiff?

Witness I did.

C. for the P. In what way?

Witness I feared that his forces might be subjected to Nazgûl attack. I was the only person competent to withstand such attacks.

C. for the P. Did the Plaintiff make any special request to you?

Witness He asked me to escort the wounded back to the city, and to arrange a sortie if he could get the bulk of his forces back close enough to the City to make such a sortie worthwhile.

C. for the P. Did you suggest that the Plaintiff should accompany you back?

Witness I did. He looked terribly ill. How he kept in the saddle I don’t know. I considered he had done as much as flesh and blood could stand.

C. for the P. And what was the Plaintiff’s answer?

Witness He refused. He considered himself responsible for ensuring that as many lives as possible were saved. He willingly risked his own life in order to achieve that purpose.

C. for the P. How would you describe his conduct on that occasion?

Witness I would describe it as heroic.

C. for the P. Thank you.

Judge This concludes the Plaintiff’s evidence on the first three charges. We will now pass to the fourth.

C. for the P. Call Frodo Baggins.

C. for the P. I understood that you encountered the Plaintiff on your journey to Mordor?

Witness That is so.

C. for the P. Please explain exactly where this happened.

Witness It was in Ithilien, in a defile some ten miles from Henneth Annûn.

C. for the P. Did the Plaintiff detain you from your journey?

Witness Yes.

C. for the P. In what way?

Witness He was leading an expedition to ambush some enemy forces. We blundered into his path.

C. for the P. Do you consider his conduct justifiable?

Witness Yes. The situation was a dangerous one. His action was sensible.

C. for the P. Did he offer you any violence?

Witness None whatsoever.

C. for the P. In what way did he detain you?

Witness We were put under guard.

C. for the P. After the ambush of which you speak, did you have further dealings with the Plaintiff?

Witness Yes. He questioned us.

C. for the P. Why?

Witness We had offered no explanation of our presence in Ithilien. Moreover, since it transpired that we had been acquainted with his brother, Boromir, he suspected we might have had a hand in Boromir’s death.

C. for the P. Did you consider that suspicion justifiable?

Witness It was hard to consider the question objectively at the time. I did not know that Boromir was dead until the Plaintiff told me. I was shocked and confused.

C. for the P. Did the Plaintiff release you after this interrogation?

Witness No. We were taken to Henneth Annûn.

C. for the P. Do you consider this seriously impeded your mission?

Witness No. To proceed would have been dangerous after the action in which the Plaintiff had been engaged.

C. for the P. Were you ill treated at any time?

Witness We were treated with the greatest consideration.

C. for the P. I understood that the Plaintiff discovered the nature of your errand. How did he react?

Witness I thought for a moment he might try to take the Ring from me. His attitude was momentarily threatening.

C. for the P. ‘Momentarily’?

Witness That is the only way in which I can describe it. After this initial reaction he made no further attempt to interfere with the Ring.

C. for the P. Did you show him the Ring?

Witness No.

C. for the P. Did he at any time ask you to do so, or attempt to force you to do so?

Witness No, never.

C. for the P. Were you at any time at Osgiliath with the Plaintiff?

Witness No. I have never been near Osgiliath.

C. for the P. What is your opinion of the Plaintiff?

Witness I consider him to be a man of the highest integrity.

C. for the P. You bear him no ill will for his treatment of you?

Witness On the contrary, I am proud to count him as a friend.

C. for the P. Thank you. Call Samwise Gamgee!

C. for the P. Do you agree with the previous witness’s account of your meeting with the Plaintiff?

Witness Yes, every word of it.

C. for the P. I understand that in the course of the Plaintiff’s interrogation of your master, you intervened. Is that so?

Witness Yes.

C. for the P. In what way?

Witness Well, it made me angry to hear him accusing my master of something he hadn’t done – I think the word treachery came into it – and knowing what I knew, it seemed particularly unfair, and so I spoke out of turn a bit.

C. for the P. Did you adopt a tone which the Plaintiff might have considered disrespectful?

Witness He certainly might.

C. for the P. And how did he react?

Witness He – well, he called me to order.

C. for the P. Was he angry?

Witness No.

C. for the P. Did you consider his reaction justifiable?

Witness Well, yes. I felt a fool, to tell you the truth.

C. for the P. Do you confirm that the Plaintiff neither used nor threatened to use violence against you?

Witness Well, when I blurted out the truth about the Ring, I did think for a moment he was threatening us. But to tell the truth, I think he was simply on edge after fencing with my master for so long – in words, I mean. Getting a bit of his own back, maybe.

C. for the P. Apart from that, you never felt in actual danger from him?

Witness I wasn’t easy in my mind, him having so many men at his command, and the two of us all alone. But after he found out about the Ring, and did us no harm, no, I trusted him after that.

C. for the P. What is your opinion of the Plaintiff’s conduct?

Witness The same as my master’s. I’ve never met any of the Big People I liked so well, except the King of course.

C. for the P. Call Sméagol, otherwise known as Gollum.

C. for the P. Sméagol, if that’s what you prefer to be called, please tell us in what way, if any, the Plaintiff ill-treated you when you were in his custody.

Witness Nassty wicked men! Caught us and tied us up, they did, and threatened us with death, all for a few little fishes, gollum!

C. for the P. Were you beaten?

Witness No beatings, gollum, only nassty biting ropeses, and hoods over our headses.

C. for the P. Did the Plaintiff offer you any actual violence? Or order any other men to ill-treat you? Or stand by while they did so?

Witness Noooo. He looked at us, gollum, with horrid eyes like knives and made us tell…

C. for the P. Tell what?

Witness Nothing, precious. But he knew, he knew about … No, sssss, not telling.

C. for the P. He looked at you?

Witness Yessss.

C. for the P. And you told him the truth?

Witness [looked shifty]

C. for the P. Let me re-phrase that. You answered his questions truthfully?

Witness Yesss.

C. for the P. And that’s all?

Witness Yesss.

C. for the P. Take him away.

Judge And open the window, it reeks of stale fish and slime in here.

C. for the P. Call Anborn, son of somebody.

C. for the P. I understand you served as a soldier under the command of the Plaintiff?

Witness Yes.

C. for the P. You were with him in Ithilien in March 3019?

Witness I was.

C. for the P. You saw him with the prisoners?

Witness Yes.

C. for the P. Can you confirm that he offered them no violence?

Witness Absolutely.

C. for the P. And allowed nobody else to do so?

Witness Of course not.

C. for the P. And there was no possibility that anyone else could have done so without his knowledge?

Witness None whatever. He was with the Halflings all the time, and even where the other prisoner, the fishy one, was concerned, we were all in the same cave, within earshot, all the time. In any case nobody would have dared to try it.

C. for the P. Please explain.

Witness First thing you learned when you were under the Captain’s command is that torture was out. And bullying. And cruelty in general. Even wild animals…

C. for the P. Wild animals?

Witness He wouldn’t have them hurt or killed, unless it was absolutely necessary, for food.

C. for the P. And what did the men think of this?

Witness A few thought he was soft when they first joined. They soon learned.

C. for the P. And if they went against his rules?

Witness If you broke the rules you got a black mark against your name and were transferred.

C. for the P. Did this happen often?

Witness Never happened that I know of. If you were under the Captain’s command you thanked the Valar for it and made sure you stayed there.

C. for the P. The men liked him?

Witness The men loved him.

C. for the P. Can you explain why?

Witness That’s hard to do. He is what he is.

C. for the P. You had confidence in his leadership?

Witness Yes.

C. for the P. I understand that he was believed in some quarters to have less courage than his elder brother.

Witness If that was said it wasn’t in the army. And it wasn’t said in the hearing of anybody in the army, either. Including the Captain General.

C. for the P. Did you consider him to be over-cautious at times?

Witness Cautious when necessary, yes. Over-cautious, no. I’ll tell you this: we used to say that if you served under the Captain General, you could count on getting the glory but it was quite likely you wouldn’t live to enjoy it. With the Captain, the action might be a bit less spectacular but you had a much better chance of living to tell the tale. Now most of us were – are – willing to die for Gondor, but we’d rather do it usefully, under someone who knows what he’s doing. And given the choice, we’d rather stay alive. That’s why I stuck with the Captain.

C. for the P. And you intend to go on sticking with him?

Witness Well, I’ve put my name down for the White Company.

C. for the P. The Plaintiff’s new guard in his capacity as Prince of Ithilien?

Witness Yes. I put my name down. For what that’s worth.

C. for the P. Is there a problem?

Witness Everybody else has too.

C. for the P. Thank you. You may stand down.
With your permission, m’lud, we will now pass to the final complaint. This will necessitate re-calling three witnesses we have already heard, and one additional one.
Call Boromir, son of Denethor.

C. for the P. I should now like to take you back to your childhood. I understood that you studied the history of Gondor together with the Plaintiff?

Witness Yes.

C. for the P. Although he was considerably younger than you?

Witness He was very interested in the subject.

C. for the P. Would you say he was passionately interested in it?

Witness Yes, that is perfectly true.

C. for the P. His presence was not an impediment to your own studies?

Witness Not in the least. It made me considerably more attentive than I would otherwise have been.

C. for the P. A matter of pride? Not to be outshone by your little brother?

Witness (laughing) You could say that.

C. for the P. Would you say he ever neglected his studies?

Witness Of course not. The difficulty was to get his nose out of a book, not in it. Quite the opposite of my own case.

C. for the P. Did he ever show any particular interest in dragons?

Witness Dragons? Whatever for? It was about the only problem we weren’t faced with.

C. for the P. Were you both also undergoing military training at the time?

Witness I was. And he was as well, as soon as he was old enough.

C. for the P. Did the Plaintiff show ability in such training?

Witness Yes.

C. for the P. He pleased his instructors?

Witness Yes.

C. for the P. Did you take part in his instruction?

Witness Yes.

C. for the P. And you were satisfied with his progress?

Witness Yes, very.

C. for the P. Did he ever challenge your methods or opinions?

Witness Occasionally.

C. for the P. What did you do then?

Witness Boxed his ears.

C. for the P. Did he resent that?

Witness No.

C. for the P. You remained the best of friends?

Witness We have never been anything else.

C. for the P. Thank you. Call Denethor, son of Ecthelion.

After more unpleasantness, the witness again took the stand.

C. for the P. I understand that you instructed both your sons in the history of Gondor and of your family?

Witness I did.

C. for the P. You permitted the Plaintiff to share this instruction with his much older brother?

Witness Yes.

C. for the P. Some might find that surprising.

Witness I was not eager to repeat the whole process for my younger son’s sole benefit.

C. for the P. Was he an attentive listener?

Witness Yes.

C. for the P. He listened with understanding?

Witness Yes. He was always clever.

C. for the P. Did he ask questions about what you had taught him?

Witness Yes. Not infrequently these questions implied criticism of my opinions or my teaching.

C. for the P. What did you do then?

Witness Boxed his ears.

C. for the P. Did that stop him asking awkward questions?

Witness No.

C. for the P. Call Gandalf. Etc.

C. for the P. I understand that you occasionally provided the Plaintiff with instruction on your visits to Minas Tirith?

Witness Occasionally, yes.

C. for the P. Did the Plaintiff’s father approve of this?

Witness He strongly disapproved.

C. for the P. And the Plaintiff knew this?

Witness He did.

C. for the P. And yet he continued to seek such instruction?

Witness He did.

C. for the P. In fact, he defied his father?

Witness Yes.

C. for the P. Did the Plaintiff profit from your instruction?

Witness Yes, very greatly. He became an enthusiastic student of the archives.

C. for the P. He was eager to be instructed?

Witness Very. He badgered me at times.

C. for the P. What did you do then?

Witness Boxed his ears.

C. for the P. Did that deter him?

Witness Not in the least.

C. for the P. Call Peregrine Took.

C. for the P. Please explain your relationship with the Plaintiff.

Witness I was esquire to his father at one time.

C. for the P. Did you have any private conversation with the Plaintiff at that time?

Witness No. I was frequently in the same room with him, but never alone.

C. for the P. He never talked to you about dragons?

Witness He never talked to me about anything. Everything was happening in a great rush. There was no time for chat.

C. for the P. What was your impression of the Plaintiff at this time?

Witness I admired him.

C. for the P. He impressed you as a soldier? A leader?

Witness Yes. I would have followed him anywhere, even under the Black Wings. I still would.

C. for the P. Thank you. That is our last witness, m’lud.