A/N: I NEED a beta reader. Well I think I need one! Please tell me if you could read Pippin’s email or not. I’m worried people can’t. On your way out please take time to review! These are Aragorn’s replies so you might want to read these. I’ll do them after every 2 chapters. My cat, Sirrikit, is biting my leg. I’m fed up of my pets. Two of my other cats, Buntling and Tigger, are yowling. Sirrikit and Buntling are half Siamese that is why they cause a lot of trouble. Tigger (aka. Annoying!) is ¼ Siamese and I hate him coz he is Annoying! I didn’t name any of them. I only named my cat, Trixie Belle. The emails in red are to Aragorn and you don’t need to read them unless you can’t remember what someone said in their email to him.

Replies to chapter 1:
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

When are you coming back to Rivendell? Elladan and Elrohir are picking on me. Missing you lots.
Arwen

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

IÂ’m coming back to Rivendell after the war. Tell Elladan and Elrohir I will beat them up if they pick on you. Missing you lots too.
Aragorn

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

Aragorn IÂ’m missing you loads. Will you go out with me? Uncle has let Grima be his advisor again. Grima keeps flirting with me.
Lots of love
Eowyn
P.S. The answer has to be yes.

Aragorn doesnÂ’t reply!

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

Hi darling.
Have you still got the Evenstar? DaddyÂ’s trying to make me go to Valinor. Please be king of Gondor. I canÂ’t take much more pressure. IÂ’m going to a party. Which dress do you think I should wear?

Arwen Undómiel

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

Yes I have still got the Evenstar. Wear the black and red dress. IÂ’ll be king if we win the war. Tell Elrond you arenÂ’t going to Valinor if you donÂ’t want to go. If you do, just go. Have fun at the party.
Estel

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

Aragorn IÂ’m really sorry. I gave Eowyn your email address. She was annoying me so much. I had to give it to her. Are you still hanging around with that dwarf?
Eomer

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

Yes I am still hanging around with Gimli. He is very nice and my friend. Don’t give people my email address without asking me if you can. Now Éowyn wants me to go out with her! I haven’t replied to her email. I love Arwen not her. Arwen is soooooooo beautiful and nice.
Wingfoot

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

Vedui Melamin (greetings my love). Are you sure I should wear the black and red dress? Daddy says it makes me look fat. IÂ’ll ask Granny. Mummy would know which dress.

Namaarie (farewell)

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

It doesnÂ’t make you look fat. You should definitely ask Galadriel not me.
Aragorn

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

Hi this is Frodo and Sam. WeÂ’re using FaramirÂ’s computer. He caught us when we were watching an oliphaunt. Faramir is BoromirÂ’s (nicer) younger brother. Gollum is showing us the way to Mordor. He has really bad table manners. He likes raw food. Hope you are well.
Frodo and Sam

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

Oh dear! He has bad table manners! That is awful! If you canÂ’t tell IÂ’m being sarcastic. Merry and Pippin have bad table manners and you donÂ’t care. IÂ’ve seen about 200 oliphaunts. Faramir must be very nice because Boromir was my best friend and he was really nice.

Strider

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

Dear Estel, Stay away from Arwen. IÂ’m going to put her on a boat to Valinor while sheÂ’s asleep. Elladan and Elrohir say hello. Why canÂ’t they get there own mail address instead of making me say hello to people?

Lord Elrond

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

IÂ’m going to tell Arwen. Say hi to Elladan and Elrohir. I can get them an email address but it will have to be [email protected].

Estel

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

Dear Arwen,
Elrond is going to put you on a bot to Valinor while you are asleep.

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
I canÂ’t believe DaddyÂ’s going to do that. IÂ’m not going to sleep. Please become king soon.

Arwen
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

I will try to become king but first we have to win the war.
Love
Aragorn

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
You havenÂ’t replied yet.

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

Eowyn, I do love you. I love you like I would love a sister. I could never marry you. I could only marry Arwen (the elf who gave the necklace) if I canÂ’t marry IÂ’m going to try and marry Galadriel!!!
Lord Aragorn

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

Arwen, someone called Eowyn is trying to get me to go out with her. I love her as much as I love a sister. I told her that I loved you.

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
IÂ’ll email this Eowyn person. She is so dead. How dare she fancy you?
AaÂ’ menie nauva calen arÂ’ ta hwesta e aleÂ’ quenle. (may thy paths be green and breeze be on thy back.

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

Her email address is [email protected]. Thanks for sorting this out.
Aragorn

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

Why didnÂ’t you tell me there was someone else? You flirt with me for ages and now youÂ’ve broken my heart. I bet you only like her because she gave you that necklace. I could give you a nicer necklace. I hate you.

Eowyn

(A/N: just pretend Eowyn and Arwen email each other at this point. No, IÂ’m not nice enough to write those emails)

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

Were you really flirting with Eowyn? Amin delotha lle.(I hate you)
Arwen Undomiel

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

I wasnÂ’t flirting with Eowyn. She is lying.
Estel

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

Elen sila lumen omentilmo. (a star shall shine on the hour of our meeting.) So you werenÂ’t flirting with Eowyn. She made it up. IÂ’m going to kill her. Amin meleth lle. (I love you) I havenÂ’t slept for two weeks. Daddy isnÂ’t letting the ship go to Valinor yet. He told me there was a leak. But I know heÂ’s just waiting for me to fall asleep.
Cormamin niuve tennaÂ’ ta elea lle auÂ’. (my heart shall weep until it sees thee again)

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

Two weeks. Well done. DonÂ’t kill Eowyn I need to make her marry Faramir. Boromir and I are going to be matchmakers and Eomer will help us.

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

Hi itÂ’s Merry and Pippin. WeÂ’re with the ents. We totally wrecked Isenguard! Treebeard says weÂ’re hasty. How are you? This is Merry typing because Pippin canÂ’t. Gandalf said Eowyn fancied you. Why do you get all the good looking women? You even got Arwen! I bet Galadriel fancied you.
From
M.P. (Merry and Pippin not Member of Parliament stupid)

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

I never said that M.P. stood for Member of Parliament. Well done for wrecking Isenguard. Gandalf already told me though. I donÂ’t think Galadriel fancies me but I think she if fit! Eowyn is flirting with me. I donÂ’t like it. Arwen got really cross but she has forgiven me now.
Strider

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

Vedui( greetings) Estel. Dad got us our own email address. How are you? Arwen is always talking about you its soooooooo annoying. Is Eowyn beautiful? Is there any chance you could let us meet her. Arwen was so mad when she found out about Eowyn. We mean mad. She deleted all her emails from you and smashed her laptop! Then she decided to check her email and used our laptop.
Bye

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Has ArwenÂ’s laptop been fixed? It is nice to know you have your own email address. Elrond was getting really mad when you told him to say hello to me from you. DonÂ’t look at any porn sites on the internet. I know what you two are like. Eowyn is alright. You canÂ’t meet her coz youÂ’ll probably try to make her strip!
Estel

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

I hate you. Stay away from Gondor. I want Faramir to marry Eowyn. Not you. YouÂ’re not king. Ha ha. Bye.

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

I thought we were best friends! Legolas can be my best friend now. I donÂ’t want to marry Eowyn. IÂ’ll try to introduce her to Faramir. It will be funny if they get married coz Faramir is a bit girly and Eowyn is a tomboy. I want to be king. If I am king IÂ’ll have a big statue of you made.
Aragorn

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

Hi. You were right. The black and red dress looked wonderful at the party. I was the only person without a date so I bought a photo of you. Please come back to Rivendell and please become king. Have Elladan and Elrohir emailed you? They got their own email address finally. Missing you lots and lots and lots etc.
Namaarie (farewell)

To: [email protected]
Form: [email protected]

I told you the black and red dress would look good. Which photo did you bring? Was my hair neat in it? Elladan and Elrohir have emailed me. I told them not to go onto porn sites. They probably will go on them anyway. I canÂ’t come back to Rivendell or be king at the moment.
Love
Aragorn

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

There are loads of uruk-hai. Can you help us kill them? Eowyn is missing you. Will you marry her? It will make her shut up. I feel like banishing her and Eomer. Eomer wants a party.
Théoden King

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

I wonÂ’t marry Eowyn. She is turning into my stalker. IÂ’m not even good looking (author tells Aragorn he is!) This Lady of Imladris person is really annoying me by making Eowyn be my stalker (author shouts Aragorn youÂ’re grounded!). DonÂ’t banish Eomer. Can I come to his party?

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

I want a party. I would only invite the rohirrim, you and lots of girls. Uncle says no. He is so grumpy. Eowyn is still in a bad mood about Arwen. Does Arwen have any sisters? Hint hint.
Eomer

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

Hi, Eomer. Will you be my best friend? Arwen doesnÂ’t have any sisters. You are just as bad as her brothers they want to meet Eowyn. If they did, they would probably make her strip! I want you to have a party. Eowyn has turned into a stalker!

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

Hello Elessar. How are you? Celeborn says hello. Please let Arwen go to Valinor. How are Legolas and Gimli? I hope to see you soon. ThatÂ’s a lie. I never want to see you again.

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

Hi Sexy,
IÂ’m fine. Arwen can go to Valinor if she wants. Say hi to Celeborn. Are you sure you never want to see me again? Coz if Arwen and I got married then you couldnÂ’t come to our wedding coz I would be there.
Elessar

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

Why did you tell Arwen? She is yawning all the time and is always in a bad mood. You are so stupid.
Lord Elrond
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

I told her coz I love her. IÂ’m not stupid. I know lots of things. I think you are stupid. Anyway why are you picking on me? You used to like me. You used to be my foster father.
Estel

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

Hi son. How are you? They set up these email addresses for all the dead people. Have you married Arwen yet? We hope you have a long life. If you donÂ’t marry Arwen thereÂ’s always Eowyn.
Love
Mum and Dad

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

I donÂ’t want to marry Eowyn. IÂ’m fine. I will live until IÂ’m 210 I asked Galadriel and Elrond coz they have the forsight. IÂ’m not supposed to tell anyone they told me how long IÂ’m would live. I havenÂ’t told Arwen I will die when IÂ’m 210.
Lots and Lots of Love
Aragorn son of Arathorn

A/N: That was not funny, was it? IÂ’ll write replies to chapter two another time but I need lunch. Also Aragorn is mine! Remember I want 25 reviews and flames donÂ’t count.

On your way out please take time to review!

Bye
Lady of Imladris