Awed in the Presence of Beauty.

“But the Quendi shall be the fairest of all earthly creatures, and they shall have and shall conceive and bring forth more beauty than all my Children…”

(Ilúvatar: Of the beginning of days The Silmarillion J.R.R. Tolkien. Ed C. Tolkien. HarperCollins p 35)

With many thanks to Ellfine for beta reading.

He stirs restlessly on the bed beside me, eyelids flickering over open eyes as he endeavors to make sense of the images given him in dream.

So beautiful is he to me!

I have already known much of beauty in my life. Is it not part of being of the Eldar? Is it not something we ever seek to show forth – to sub-create, to conceive – Ilúvatar’s gift to us? There is much beauty inherent in our people, in the creations of our hands and minds. But never before have I fully appreciated how utterly awed by physical beauty one can be.

Oh, the light of the Trees is truly a wonder to behold, and the Valar in the forms they take to walk among us are nigh indescribable in their radiant glory. This blessed land in which we live, this cleft of light; it is an astounding place all too easily taken for granted.

And I have known great beauty in individuals before. Of a certainty have I – who am not amongst those most notable for their appearance – been blessed with knowing that! But as I watch his face, his form, he is beyond all my expectations.

As I watch him closely, his restlessness increases, head turning from side to side, arms moving, fingers spreading open, seeking to grasp hold of something, as if he would be about some work of craft. I reach out most gently to touch him; concerned lest my movement breaks the enchantment that holds me fast.

I would not break the hold he has on me. Nay, even though I am exhausted from all he has demanded of me these last few days, yet I cannot take my eyes from him and seek rest for myself.

I want to keep watch over him!

Soon he will be fully conscious, and my time will be his to command. But how can I deny him that? I cannot deny him anything he needs or desires. So full of love is my heart that I am awed in his presence.

Again, the sudden movement, the focusing of his eyes upon me, that I draw him comfortingly close, feeling his warmth as he nuzzles against my cheek, my neck – my breast.

Something of my appearance he may have, yet it is an ordinary beauty crafted into a form of perfection that only his sire could have bequeathed him.

My beautiful one!

My firstborn babe…

My Maitimo!

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Maitimo – Maedhros