Day one:

Hello and welcome to the first ever episode of Big Bother where we shall see how our contestants did upon entering the house. As I’m sure you’ve already heard the contestants are; Legolas, Aragon, Gimli, Gollum, Gandalf, Saruman, Eowyn, Arwen, Merry, Pipin, Sam and Frodo.
We allowed each contestant 1 luxury item and the list is as follows:
Legolas- 75 litres of l’oriel shampoo
Aragon – Playstation 2 (with ROTK game)
Gimli – His stunt double
Gollum- A small tent
Gandalf – Beard whitener
Sauruman – His faithful servant (Grima Wormtounge)
Eowyn – A walkman (with one CD inside – ‘Aint no mountain high enough’ )
Arwen – French manicure set
Merry – Mary-Kate plastic doll
Pippin – Ashley plastic doll
Sam – A ‘Grow your own garden’ kit.
Frodo – The book of ‘Different expressions and how to use them’.
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We now go live to the house where the inmates are just waking up after their first night.

Upstairs

Arwen; *Shaking the bathroom door* Get out of the bathroom Legolas, you’ve been in there for 3 hours!

Legolas; *Shouting* That’s not true, it’s only been 20 minutes, I haven’t even finished washing my hair yet, go away!

In the kitchen

Gollum is sat covered in a pile of cheerio’s, in the middle of the floor, Gimli, Gandalf and Aragon are stood over him trying to work out what he is doing.

Gollum; *Picking up handfuls of cheerio’s and throwing them in the air* My precious’s, my precious’s!

Gimli; Great, now what are we going to have for breakfast?

Gandalf; *jokingly* Usually Gollum, when you have cereal you have milk with it. *Hands him the milk*

Gollum looks confused for a moment, then grins and tips the milk all over his head.

Gimli; Nice going, now I cant even have a cup of coffee to wake me up!

Aragon; *Staring at a milk covered Gollum* I’ll clean him up. *Carries a desperately struggling Gollum out to the pool and chucks him in*

Suddenly there are several loud thuds down the stairs and a loud giggle comes from the landing.

Pippin; *wearily getting up from the bottom of the stairs* Merry you little %£$”&^$& I’m gonna ^%£&^$*”%$ kill you! *He runs back up the stairs and we hear a high pitched scream*

Well… erm…. that’s all the live footage we have time for right now, join me after this short break to see the housemates first reactions upon entering the house.

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Welcome back to Big Bother were we are now going to see the housemates first reactions upon entering the house.

(Camera view from inside the empty house, the two front doors swing open to reveal Sam, Merry, Pippin and Frodo desperately trying to get inside the house first. Finally Frodo manages to squeeze through, runs down the stair, straight into the bedroom followed by the other hobbits. From inside the bedroom various cries of ‘mine’, ‘no mine’ are heard.)

Legolas; *After a split second look at his new home, heads straight for the bathroom, muttering something about the camera glare ruining his hair.*

Aragon; *Strides in and dumps his large bag on to the floor so heavily that several pictures fall off the wall, then he walks slowly around the house investigating it, clearly looking for a plug in which to plug in his PS2*

Gimli; Has anyone seen Gollum? One minute I was talking to him, the next he was gone. *Turns around and we see Gollum’s head poking out of the top of his now open back pack.

Each of the characters filter in, Arwen enters complaining loudly that the house is not up to her usual standards and that its hardly Rivendale. Gandalf has little time to look around the house before he is called into the bedroom to pull apart the hobbits that were now fighting for the bed by the window. The dispute is settled when Eowyn declares it her own and gives any opponent a disturbingly evil glare.
The last person to enter the house is Sauruman followed by Grima, who is struggling under the weight of his bags.

Sauruman; Now run my bag into the bedroom wont you Grima. *Obediently Grima runs out and comes straight back and sits at Sauruman’s feet. Sauruman reaches into his pocket and pulls out something that looks strangely like a dog biscuit and gives it to Grima.*

Big Bother; Attention housemates, this is Big Bother, will you all please enter the living room.

*The grumbling housemates slowly take seats in the living room and Big Bother continues*

Welcome to the Big Bother house contestants, were you shall be competing to win the grand prize of the one ring. Tonight in honour of your arrival we will hold a Hawaiian themed party and you will find your costumes in the wardrobe.

*A buzz of excitement sweeps the room*

The party starts at 7, that is all.

Garden 7 pm

Gimli; *Is stood manning the BBQ in a bright red shirt and shorts humming ‘Valley High’*

Eowyn; Gimli, have you seen my costume? I went to get it out but all that’s left is this pair of green shorts and a shirt. I should have a grass skirt to wear!

Legolas; *Walking out of the house brushing his hair, he is wearing a grass skirt and a pair of coconuts.* What’s up guy’s?

Gimli; *Sniggers* What’s that you are wearing Leggy?

Legolas; Its my costume, don’t you have one?

Eowyn; *Holds up the green outfit* No, that’s my costume, this is your costume.

(Legolas screams, grabs the clothes and runs inside)

Garden 9 pm
(With the party now in full swing the group have discovered a karaoke set and Eowyn is singing loudly down the microphone to Aragon)

Eowyn; Cant liiivvveee if living is without youwwww

(Merry and Pippin quickly grab the microphone off her and begin a teeth clenching edition of ‘ If you wanna be my lover’ by the spice girls, with Sam, Frodo and extra vocals from Aragon.)

Garden 12 am

Everyone has fallen drunkenly asleep on the floor with the exception of Gollum who is participating in a midnight swim, or rather a sink after he discovered a half empty can of Carling by the pool.

Well that’s all for this episode, tune in the same time tomorrow.