Year 13 –

Were they gone for a week? NO! They were gone for NINE MONTHS!! He says he “forgot to tell me”. Got a MAJOR tongue-lashing. Don’t know if he’ll ever be the same…

Baby due sometime next week. I KNOW it will be a girl this time. Bet Aragorn that if it’s a boy I’ll get up at night to put the baby back to sleep.

Son now 13 years old. Hope he is not as bad as Aragorn was at this age. I, of course, was a perfect angel.

One week later –
It’s a GIRL:

Baby was born yesterday. Even more adorable than Eldarion was. Have decided to name her Túriel. Aragorn lost bet. Ha ha, he gets to take care of the baby at night. Too bad…

Ada is coming sometime next month to see the new baby. Is so happy to have a new grand-daughter.

Several months later –

Son AND daughter now spoiled by Ada. Son thought it was a good idea to shave off Ada’s eyebrows while he was sleeping. Snot-nosed teenager.

Son no longer worships me. Worships Aragorn instead. Seriously doubt Aragorn will be able to control him like I did.

Year 14 –
Why me?

Eldarion decided it was a good idea to try and sell his sister to his friends. Aragorn was no help when I was lecturing him. Idiot human was trying not to laugh. Wonder if Aragorn would mind if I sold Eldarion…

Seriously re-thinking giving up immortality for Aragorn. Maybe it’s not too late to marry Legolas and go to Grey Havens…

Year 15 –
Daughter having artistic phase:

Left her in throne room for a moment to go get something. When I got back, she had drawn all over the wall. Aragorn went ballistic. Is now having servants scrub walls. Personally, I think she did a good job of livening the place up…

Year 16 –
Stupid teenage male hormones:

Aragorn caught Eldarion making out with Marille, Faramir’s daughter, in the cellar. Pulled the old “just helping her fix her blouse” line. Yeah right. And Legolas is a natural blonde. That line never worked with Ada. Most likely got that line from Aragorn or the twins.

Aragorn says Elladan and Elrohir have been giving son dating tips. Will kill them tomorrow…

Year 16.5 –
Ai Valar:

Túriel decided to play with Aragorn’s battle armor and paint it BRIGHT PINK! Aragorn had to wear it to battle the next day too since he didn’t have any other armor. Poor Aragorn. He must have been ridiculed terribly by the other side, not to mention Faramir and Eomer…

Aragorn wanted to strangle Túriel, but I would not let him. Told him if he did, HE’D get to explain it to Ada.

Year 17 –
He’s baaaack…

Ada has returned. His eyebrows have finally grown back, though Aragorn can’t look at him without laughing. Yet, I seem to remember the time Eldarion decided shave Aragorn’s head…

Túriel decided to steal Ada’s ring while he was sleeping. Am very proud of her stealth skills. Elladan and Elrohir did a good job. Once she had it, a rain cloud kept following Eldarion around, soaking him every few minutes. Then, she decided to turn on Aragorn. They both looked like drowned rats. Daughter is smart enough to know not to try it on me. Must reward her.

Year 18 –
I hate teenagers:

Eldarion decided to get back at Túriel by telling her about the “sneeze of death”. According to him, when you sneeze, your heart stops. This would be enough to frighten any five-year-old, but he went on to say that the fourth sneeze was the sneeze of death. Yesterday, she caught a cold, sneezed four times in a row, and started to scream like a banshee. Son is now terrified of me. Serves him right.

Ada had been sleeping when daughter started shrieking, and fell off of his bed. Ada has been giving Aragorn death glares ever since and muttering something about not knowing how to properly raise children. I have done perfectly good job. It’s all Aragorn’s fault. He should know how to control his son.

Several days later –
My brothers can have some good ideas if they want to:

They decided to steal some of Eomer’s horses and put them in Aragorn’s stables. Never seen Eomer so angry and Aragorn so scared… Aragorn had to have his arms bandaged up…

When Eomer found who really stole the horses, he couldn’t apologize enough. Has taken off to go kill my brothers. Not if I kill them first…

Year 19 –
Valar please help me:

Was rudely awakened with a racket that could have been heard in the Shire. Aragorn and I drew our swords and ran to see what it was. Found Eldarion lying in a heap at the bottom of the stairs. Obviously trying to sneak out and meet Marille. Installing that trip wire was the smartest thing Aragorn’s ever done…

Several months later –
Daughter apparently set on being a streaker:

While Aragorn was in the middle of an “important meeting” (just a bunch of castle gossip in my opinion), Túriel decided to run through the room naked with several maids running behind. Aragorn ran out the door and right into… Legolas. Clumsy human. Knocked him down three flights of stairs.

Heard the racket and ran outside to see her being chased by Aragorn, Haldir, and several other members of the court. Finally caught and clothed her. Don’t know how long it will last, though…

Year 20 –
Grown up my arse:

Son is now officially an adult. Pshhhh. Yeah right. Aragorn threw him a party, saying he is now a man. Like Aragorn is. Have seen Eldarion passing Marille glances all night and they are now missing. Aragorn sent guards out to investigate…

Next week –

Eventually found them. Marille is being sent to see Ada. Not sure why, but I have a good idea why…

Aragorn and Faramir clueless. They think she might be sick. Stupid human males.

Éowyn pretty sure why, too. Told her not to worry. Told her Ada is very good.

Three months later –

Awoke this morning to Faramir strangling Aragorn. He kept screaming that he “knew about it”, and “didn’t tell him”. I was finally able to pry his hands off Aragorn. While Aragorn was hyperventilating, I asked him what was wrong.

I was right. Marille is pregnant. I’m going to be a grand-mother.

Aragorn (that sissy) fainted and I had to revive him with smelling salts. When he woke up, he proceeded to strangle Eldarion. Ada had to pry him off. He clearly found the whole thing hilarious. Said Aragorn needed to finally “grow up”. I totally agree. Aragorn is now trying to kill Ada.

Faramir has settled for shooting death glares at Aragorn. He’s been taking lessons from Ada. It shows.

Éowyn and I took Marille out for a day of pampering. Went to a spa for a day of relaxing and chocolate. Very hot Elf gave us heavenly massages. Thinking about making him a permanent member of the court…

Next week –
Skill with a sword must be a female thing:

Decided it was time Túriel learned how to use a sword. Let Éowyn teach her. Not stupid enough to do it myself, but watched from a distance. Daughter is actually very skilled. After a while I took over and taught her some dirty tricks to use on her father and brother. Is almost as good as I was at her age.

Year 20.5 –

Aragorn decided to try and teach Túriel how to swim. After ten minutes, she still wasn’t in the water, so Aragorn decided to throw her in and hope she didn’t drown. He had to dive in the lake so that she didn’t. It’s a good thing she didn’t. If she had, he would have been very sorry.

He then decided to throw a large rock at Legolas and watch him sink to the bottom. It’s not our fault that Elves are naturally more graceful than stupid humans. Aragorn will be very sorry tonight.

Year 21 –
I’m a grandmother:

Eldarion and Marille got married two weeks ago. Am so happy. Would have preferred Marille not getting pregnant until after they were married, though. Son takes too much after his uncles.

Aragorn gave Eldarion a sword. He is so unimaginative. I sewed clothes for the baby and Marille. Gave son a pair of earmuffs.

The baby was born a week ago. It’s a boy. Son and Marille will not tell us what his name is yet. Aragorn’s hoping they named the baby after him. Conceited human.

Ada has gone to stay with them for a month. Glad Aragorn gave them their own house. Definitely could not stand having Eldarion living here forever.

Legolas tied Aragorn to his horse upside down as revenge for the pond incident. Could not help laughing. Eventually had to stop horse and untie Aragorn. Too bad…

One week later –

That idiot human of mine has decided to tie Legolas upside down and hang him from the Tower of Ecthelion by his feet! Must go untie him now, seeing as Aragorn hasn’t and probably never will. If he hurt Legolas…

Year 22 –
Daughter evidently didn’t inherit the cooking gene:

Túriel asked me if it was all right if she helped cook for the royal banquet last night. Told her it was fine as long as she asked Aragorn also and promised not to get in the way. Big mistake. Ended up setting not only the food on fire, but also the cook and the kitchen. She has now been banned from the kitchen.

The cook blamed Aragorn, who blamed me. Me! I said she had to ask Aragorn to see if he was fine with it also. If he had said no, the whole thing would never have happened! He can never say no. Only thing I like about him is that he can never say no…

Two weeks later –

Have started to teach Túriel how to sew. Is getting very good, but cannot sit still for long periods of time. Has started to sew a blanket for baby nephew.

Eldarion still won’t tell us his name. Is starting to get on my nerves. Sick of calling it, “the baby.” They told Ada when he visited last year, but swore him to secrecy. Keeps walking around with a smug smile on his face. Will kill him if he doesn’t tell me…

Year 22.5 –

Sam, Frodo, Merry, and Pippin have decided to visit Gondor. Took them long enough. We’ve been here for, what, 22 years now? Last time I saw them was at the coronation. Have told me some very interesting stories about Aragorn. Did not know he was ambidextrous.

Sam brought his daughter, Elanor, with him. She and Túriel have become good friends. Have been causing more trouble than the twins when they were younger. Note to self: Never let them borrow make-up again…

Next day –
Holy Eru:

Eldarion has discovered hobbit weed. Ended up stripping in the middle of the bar, convinced he was covered in slugs. Too bad Marille was at home taking care of the baby. She would have enjoyed that. Don’t know how long it will take for the effects to wear off. Last time, it took Legolas nearly a week. Still can’t believe he thought Aragorn and Gimli were beautiful Elf maidens.

Year 23 –

Have decided to go stay with Eldarion and Marille for several days. Maybe now they will tell me the baby’s name.

When I told Aragorn I was going away, the disappointment in his voice was evident. Bet he will have strippers. Males…

Next month –

Back from visiting Eldarion and Marille. Finally told me the baby’s name. Have named him Eruisto. Can tell anyone but Aragorn. He he he he. Eldarion says he wants to frustrate Aragorn. Told him I’m glad he still loves annoying Aragorn.

Year 23.5 –

Eldarion and Marille asked us to baby-sit so they can go on vacation. Stuck Aragorn with watching him. Aragorn never does anything anyways. I’m the one who has to do all the arranging for banquets and everything. All he does is sit on the throne and look all kingly.

Still doesn’t know… Aragorn is starting to get aggravated.

Next day –
Eruisto has good aim for a two-year-old:

Aragorn let Eruisto escape from his crib. Not good. Found Legolas’ bow and some arrows. Also not good. Shot Aragorn in the butt. Very good. Aragorn claims he is an evil spawn of Sauron. Nope. Just takes after his father.

Ada can’t look at Aragorn without laughing. Would not let Aragorn toss him out the window. Would have to deal with me and the twins if he did.

Year 24 –
Poor Legolas:

Had a costume ball last night. Went dressed as a Valar. Aragorn, with his infinite imagination, went as a Ranger. Thought I had burned all his Ranger clothes…

Túriel insisted as dressing as Cupid. Complete with a real bow and real arrows. Shot Legolas in the arse with an arrow. Brithil seemed to have a nice time pulling the arrow out and treating the wound. They disappeared later…

Aragorn has sent Túriel to stay with Eldarion until Legolas has cooled off a bit. He really has a bad temper…

Year 24.5 –
I’m going to kill that Elf:

Legolas thought it would be a good idea to get back at Túriel by leaving a bucket of mud above the door to her room. His plan backfired when I walked into her room when it was time for her sewing lesson. Have never seen that prissy Elf run so fast in my entire life. He had better pray to Eru that I don’t find him.

Next week –

Found him. Have never seen him so scared for his life. It should take a year or more for his hair to grow back. Should take longer for him to be able to walk upright…

Year 25 –

I’m pregnant yet again! If Aragorn tries to leave this time, I’ll kill him. He’s going to stay here whether he likes it or not…

Next week –

Aragorn tried to leave again !!! He’s lucky Ada tied him to the bed.


Sorry it took so long for me to update. Life, school, and the family computer crashing got in the way. the next chapter might take a little while for me to add because I have to see TrinityTheSheDevil’s chapter and then write mine, but I’m going to be in Washington D.C. for about a week at the end of the month. *tear* No Halloween for me because I’m flying home that day. Until my next update!!!

Lots of pipeweed,

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