DISCLAIMER: This fanfic might cure depression but don’t count on it. Keylei is me but the other characters in THIS chapter are not mine. You know everything else if you have read my other fan fics. (HAVE YOU?!!) You might enjoy them! (you WILL enjoy them.) Stop it parenthetical speaker! (I WILL stop it.) Yes, you will. (DARN.)

PROLOGUE

The Great Eye: Ah, what a um… powerful day in Mordor. I want a full report on what is going on in Isengard. Though I already know… it is GREAT fun to see those little orcs run about, sprawling before me! Ah, it’s good to be overlo… AH! What the…? *looks down*
It’s a bucket! What in blazes?
Slaves! Nazgul! Where’s my Mouth?!!! Move this bucket IMMEDIATELY! You all know I can’t move it myself!

A Ringwraith suddenly pops up: *remember the raspy voice…* Why hello sir!

The Great Eye: WHAT are you wearing?!

*the Wraith has a white deli hat over his robe and a white, ironed buttoned up shirt also over his robe. It looks um…. very tight around his middle. Over all he looks quite ridiculous.*

R: Sir, *stands up proudly* We are starting a campaign and a little clean up to well… CLEAN UP MORDOR! We are going to WASH AWAY THE FILTH and PUT OUT THE FIRES of… RAGE!

GE: Moron, you can’t put out the fires of rage. It would have been done ages ago. Screw that plan, take off those clothes, and come inside. I would order you to rub my feet but that would make this story more demeaning to the creatures of Mordor than it already is.

W: But Master, Keylei is already doing us justice in her other stories…

GE: SHE NEVER POSTS THEM!!

W: She will… *wrings his hands threateningly*. *looks over to the side and sees something… looks frightened.* Sorry… But this is about the environment! Not the…

GE: *says quickly* Getinside.

W: Fine. *throws away hat.*

*There is a shadowed environmentalist on the hill… who is it? If there was a visual, you could probably tell by the silhouette… Unfortunately, I’m not telling you. Read the next chapter soon and find out!

HUNGRY FOR REVIEWS! Seriously! If you have any characters or ideas you want to see in the upcoming campaign for hygiene in Mordor… Tell me! PM me! All ideas welcome! This is going to be going on for a while so keep reading!

The debate will get even hotter… Don’t burn yourself! Anonymous finger is licked and touches the fan fic. The fan fic sizzles and a fire alarm goes off. Yeah.