I Did It My Way by Hathaldir
(Merry, Pippin, Sam and Strider are gathered around Frodo, who is suffering badly from his morgul wound. We see a figure surrounded by a white light get off a horse. The hobbits and Strider watch, as she comes towards Frodo. We hear her (and Strider) speak in a strange language…)
Arwen: A well’a bless my soul, what’sa wrong with you? You’re turnin’ into a wraith,
I don’t know what to do.
Strider: We ought to talk it over now….
Arwen: It’s now or never!
Strider: He’sa gonna get all shook up, baby.
Arwen: People, don’t you understand? The child needs a helpin’ hand.
Strider: Let’s rock!
Arwen: Viva Las Vegas! Viva Las Vegas!
(Arwen rides off on her horse with Frodo in her arms, towards the Last Homely House; Rivendell. Meanwhile, the hobbits try to figure out what just happened.)
Sam: Who was she?
Pippin: Why couldn’t I understand her and Strider talking?
Merry: She was an elf. That’s why she was speaking Elvis.
(We see Arwen, at the edge of the ford, with black riders across the water from her. Their leader challenges her.)
Black Rider: Give up the Halfling, she-elf!
Arwen: Don’t be cruel! You aint’ nothin’ but a hound dog!
(As the riders are washed away by the water, we can hear Arwen say…)
Arwen: I faced it all, and I stood tall, I did it my way!
———
(We are now on the bridge, where Aragorn and Arwen are professing their love in the lyrical tongue of Elvis.)
Arwen: Wise men say only fools rush in, but I can’t help fallin’ in love with you.
Strider: You light my mornin’ sky, like burnin’ love.
Arwen: My love I offer you now, my heart and all it can give.
Strider: You have made my life complete, and I love you so.
Arwen: Darlin’ so it goes, some things are meant to be…
(Arwen takes off her necklace (a thick gold chain) and gives it to Aragorn.)
Strider: A hunk, a hunk of burnin’ love?
Arwen: Baby let me be your lovin’ Teddy Bear.
Strider: Thankya…thankyaverymuch.
(Kiss)
All Elvis dialogue taken from the following sources: “All Shook Up”, “Burning Love”, “Can’t Help Falling in Love”, “Don’t Be Cruel”, “Hound Dog”, “I’m Yours”, “I’ve Lost You”, “In the Ghetto”, “It’s Now or Never”, “Love Me Tender”, “My Way”, “Teddy Bear”, “Viva Las Vegas”.
8 Comments
Well Well now I’ve finally stopped singing and laughing I had just enough strength to type
thanks for this excellent parody
Well done Hathladir
Awesome, Hathaldir…I laughed so hard! Please write more, a whole Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring parody done in that way would be nice. 😉
That was worth the read. You should make that into a minnie mvie and send it to that show on HBO: 30 by 30 kid flcks. It would make a very intrest flick.
I really liked this!
Hath, this is great! I love it!
that was so funny
Hathaldir, the jester in Elessar’s court, has done it again. “I Did It My Way” is comedy fit for a King. Whichever King.
Its…odd. I kinda liked it. S2S I h8 elvis.
yessssssssssss, someone’s finally noticed how easily you can mispropnounce elvish!
IIIIIIIIIIIIII LOOOOOOVEEEE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the return of the king is real !!!!!!!!!!