“Lord of the Rings meets Star Wars”
Lisa and Chris Young

A/N: Sources – Star Wars; Lord of the Rings – all due credit to their respective creators

“No, Luke! I am your father!”

Suddenly, Darth Vader fell with an axe in his chest and two arrows in his throat.

“That was mine!” Gimli roared.

“Want to bet, dwarf?”

“Excuse me? WHO JUST KILLED MY DAD?”

Gimli and Legolas pointed at one another.

“He did it!” they said in unison.

“It was the elf!” Gimli yelled.

Luke looked at Legolas in wonder. “I thought Elves were small and green.”

“That’s a common misconception,” replied Legolas. “Those are leprechauns.”

While Legolas and Luke debated the technicalities of what an elf was, Sméagol advanced towards Luke’s light saber.

“It calls to us, precious! Yes, it wants us to touch it, precious! No! Sméagol mustn’t touch! Yes, touch it, precious!”

He tripped and fell on Darth Vader.

“Who cares about his precious, precious! This is ours!” he cackled. Then he donned Darth Vader’s armor. He tried to turn on the light saber, but he cut off his finger.

“AHHHH! It burns us! It freezes us!”

“Ha!” yelled Frodo (the only one who saw Sméagol dress up like Darth Vader). “Now you know how it feels!”

Boing! Boing! Boing! CRASH! Sam hurtled into Frodo and they fell into space. Just then, Luke saw Sméagol, but thought that he was Darth Vader.

“Um… whoever just killed my father,” Luke grabbed Gimli and shoved him towards Vader, “do it again!”

Before Gimli could swing his axe, he was grabbed by Treemustache (brother of Treebeard) and fell off into space…

LATER (all the LotR characters, except Sméagol, are in clone suits)

“It doesn’t fit,” complained Gimli, “and my beard hangs out!”

“So does your belly,” murmured Legolas.

“What was that? I can’t see!”

“Shall I describe it to you? Or would you like me to find you a box? Some stilts, perhaps?”

“Oh, shut up!”

“Where are the Hobbits?”

“They are probably the four running around hitting the walls,” Aragorn replied.

“Hey… where did you come from?” demanded Gimli. “You weren’t in the last scene!”

“No, but on that note, in the last scene you were flying into the infinite void of space.”

“How did you know?!”

“I’d tell you, but then I’d have to kill you. Or hire Treebeard to… his brother isn’t any good…”

“Why, you dirty–”

CRASH! A Hobbit ran into Gimli. He flew across the room, but before he landed, they were in Hoth, so he landed in a pile of ice.

*Dun, dun, dun!*

TBC…