Once upon a time there was a girl called Mary Sue. She had shoulder length brown hair and blue gray eyes. She was quite tall and she wore beautiful clothes like a fashion model. She also had a habit of saying “Well, sir/miss,” at the beginning of her sentences, which sometimes got on people’s nerves, but she had such a cute face no one ever got mad at her for too long.

So one day Mary Sue was sitting at her desk in school when a wind picked up and she felt a strange stirring in her heart. Suddenly she was sitting on a rock in someone’s garden. She looked around, and realized she was in Hobbiton! She jumped up and smoothed down her dress, and walked towards the door of the house whose garden she was in. She knocked gently then stepped back. A heavy clomping came from inside and in a moment the door was open. A grumpy face looked out, and said grumpily:

“What do YOU want?”

“Well, sir, I was wondering how to get back to California, because my teacher is going to get mad at me, and…”

“Who ARE you?” the grumpy voice said.

“Well, sir, my name is Mary Sue, and I don’t know how I got here, but I was wondering how to get back to Cali-”

“Go to Bag End and leave me ALONE!” The grumpy voice cut her off again, startling her.

She waved goodbye daintily and strolled to the gate. She brushed several strands of hair from her face and smiled prettily.

“I know JUST what to do!” she said suddenly and went off to Bag End, forgetting that this was exactly what she had been told to do.

Frodo answered the door. “Hello?”

“Well, sir,” began Mary Sue, then realized she wasn’t answering a question or anything.

“Well, hello,” was all she came up with, at long last.


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