Arwen skipped around her room, singing happy songs. Yes, her boyfriend was away killing a big evil eye, but she was throwing a slumber party! This was much more exciting than worrying. But who to invite?

Great-Grandma Idril would be really mad if she didn’t invite her, and when Grandma Idril got really mad, inpenetrable cities tended to be destroyed suddenly. Grandma Elwing would be hurt if Arwen invited Idril but not her, and so would Grandma Galadriel. Luckily, Celeborn’s mother had never (as far as Arwen knew) been named in canon, so Arwen didn’t have to invite her. Soon enough she would have more old ladies at her party than people her own age!

Arwen puzzled and thought of a perfect idea. If she invited Eowyn, not only would she have more people her own age at the party, but also Eowyn wouldn’t be able to flirt with Aragorn!

Ioreth might as well come, too, because Ioreth always amused Arwen. But since Ioreth’s kinswoman hadn’t been named, Arwen had no qualms ignoring her.

Picking up the phone, Arwen dialed one of her best friends, Elanor Gardener.

“Hey Elanor!”


“Who else?”

“But… but I haven’t been born yet! And phones haven’t been invented yet!”

“Oh, you’re such a stick in the mud sometimes, Elanor,” Arwen grumbled, and hung up. See if she invited HER to the party. In fact, just to spite her, she also crossed her mother Rosie off the list. Diamond was okay, though. She wasn’t related to Elanor in any way that Arwen could think of off the top of her head.

“Hey Diamond!”

“You have to dial first.”

“Oh, right.” Arwen did so. “Hey Diamond!”

“Hi, Arwen! Can I come to your party?”

“How did you know about my party?”

“Oh, the narrator told me.”

“What narrator?”

“The incredibly awesome girl typing this all up and utterly destroying everyone’s character.”

“Oh, right. Forgot. Yeah, you can come!”

“Sweet. Are you inviting any dwarf women?”

“They exist?”

“Of course!”

“Oh. Then I guess. Do you know any I can invite?”


“Never mind then. See you!”

“I -” Diamond started, but Arwen hung up.

“I need a nap,” Arwen thought. “I wonder if everyone knows the party starts tomorrow? Oh, well, I’m sure they’ll show up.” Thinking this, she yawned in what she thought was an elegant manner and then glared at Glorfindel’s snorts. “That’s it! You’re uninvited.”

“Dang!” Glorfindel said. “I so wanted to talk to Legolas.”

“Don’t be silly. Legolas is busy being kidnapped by fangirls.”

“Oh. Right.”

“Now go away! You don’t get to talk again until Part Two.”

Glorfindel started to say “Ha! I’m talking anyway” but was blasted by a bolt of Awesome from the narrator.

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