Chapter 2
(a few minutes later, Arwen is standing in a large room, when suddenly, she has a vision. The gray walls have turned to gold, as if she were back in ancient Egypt, and there is a chamber in front of her. In the chamber is a chest. An Egyptian girl closes the door. The girl turns a knob several times, then pushes it in. She walks away from the door. Aragorn enters the room, and Arwen is standing back in the dark, grey room. Aragorn attempts to open the door that the girl that Arwen saw in her vision had closed)
Arwen: Wha… (waves her torch around in the air)
Aragorn: (gives Arwen a wierd look)
Arwen: I swear I had another vision… only it was more real that the last one!
Aragorn: If you really were here in ancient Egypt… show me how to open this thing cause I don’t think it’s just gonna collapse in like the last door…
(Arwen walks up to the door, pulls the knob out, turns it, and pushes it in. The door opens.)
Aragorn: And thus the invention of the combination lock.
Arwen: What’s a combination lock?
Aragorn: You know, one of those turny thingys that you have to twist before the lock opens.
Arwen: (looks confused) Do they look like that one? (points to the door)
Aragorn: Sorta…
Arwen: (still looks confused) whatever. Hey, look, a chest! I wonder what’s inside it…
Aragorn: I wouldn’t open that if I were you, cause the guy that I’m supposed to be replacing… what’s his name… Rick? He opened the chest and unleashed a very powerful curse…
Arwen: Aragorn? (leans closer to Aragorn, as if she is going to whisper something in his ear) SHUT UP!
Aragorn: OW…
Arwen: We’re not scared of any curse, are we? So let’s just open this thing up…
Aragorn: (sighs) Fine, you win(hands Arwen a key)
Arwen: Thank you (sticks the key in the keyhole and finds a gold bracelet with a scorpion on it)
Arwen & Aragorn: Oooooooooo…
Arwen: (reads the inscription on the chest) This is the Bracelet of Anubis? I thought it was just a myth!
Aragorn: Arwen, honey, I wouldn’t…
Arwen: (interrupting Aragorn) What is it with you and curses?! (reaches to pick the bracelet up, but stops after the entire place starts to rumble dramatically)
Aragorn: (shouting over the noise) I told you! Read the inscription!
Arwen: (reading the inscription) He who disturbs this bracelet shall drink from the Nile… He who disturbs this bracelet?! HE WHO DISTURBS THIS BRACELET?! I’m not a he! I’m a she! (reads inscription again) He OR she who disturbs this bracelet? I missed that part…
Aragorn: What’s a Nile?
(a huge flood bursts through the wall, sweeping Arwen and Aragorn out of the chamber and down through the hall. Aragorn does not notice that Arwen is still holding the chest)
Arwen: Apparently, that.
Arwen & Aragorn: AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!
Arwen: We’re gonna diiiieeeeeee!
Aragorn: It was your faaaauuuuulllllttttt!

(meanwhile, in the temple…)
(Pippin is, of course, smoking leaf and eating mushrooms. He takes the pipe out of his mouth for a second)
Pippin: (muttering to himself) Smoking leaf and eating mushrooms… making me see things… what was he thinking?! Mushrooms never hurt anybody…
(three burly-looking orcs enter the room. Pippin goes to hide on top of some scaffolding)
Orc 1: Here we are, boys! Treasure galore!
Orc 2: It don’t look like no treasure grove to me… it’s just a pile of pottery! Orcs don’t use no pottery!
Orc 3: I dunno about you guys, but I have a feeling this place is cursed… and what’s more, this place smells funny, as if something is gonna happen!
Orc 1: You idiot! It’s only my torch!
Pippin: (realizes his pipe is still lit) Oops… (extinguishes the flame)
Orc 3: whatever (growls)
Orc 1: And you there, we could sell this ‘pottery’ for lots of gold!
Orc 2 & 3: Oooooooo…
(They do not notice that Pippin is going to fire his slingshot from up in the scaffolding. Suddenly, Orc 3 gets hit)
Orc 3: ARGH! OW OW OW! I told you this place was cursed!
Orc 1: Shut up! Curses are nothing but silly superstitions!
Orc 2: Yeah, there ain’t no curse on this place… is there?
Orc 1: I TOLD YOU, THERE ARE NO SUCH THINGS AS CURSES!
Orc 2: Oh. Sorry boss.
(Pippin fires again, this time at Orc 2)
Orc 2: OW!
Orc 3: I told you this place was cursed! But did you believe me? Nooooo…
Orc 1: What did I tell you guys? THERE! ARE! NO! SUCH! THINGS! AS! CURSES!!!!
Orc 3: Then how do you explain what’s going on right now?
Orc 1: It’s… it’s… because this place is old, so the roof is crumbling!
Orc 3: How can you tell it’s not a curse that’s making the place fall down?
Orc 2: He’s got a point.
Pippin: (giggles)
Orc 1: (looks up to the scaffolding and sees Pippin) It may not be a curse after all… it’s only a silly Halfling!
Orc 2: EAT IT!
Pippin: Uh-oh. (backs up a little)
Orc 3: Whatever. I still think this place is cursed.
(Orcs 1 & 2 climb up the ladder, while Orc 3 just get his little behind out of there, screaming)
Orc 3: CURSE! CURSE! CURSE! THIS PLACE IS CUUUURRRSSSEEEDDDD!
Orc 1: Hello little Halfling… IT’S DINNERTIME AND YOU’RE INVITED!
Pippin: As a guest of honour? I’m very flattered, but you know, I don’t exactly have the time to come, I’m a little busy tonight…
(at this point the room begins to rumble)
Orc 1: Time to get out of here…
Orc 2: Ok boss…
(Orc 1 & 2 get off the ladder. Orc 1 kicks the ladder down so Pippin can’t get off. Orc 1 & 2 run away)
Pippin: Uh-oh… (tries to find a way to get off, but tips the scaffolding instead) AAAAAHHHHH!(jumps off the pillar)
(The scaffolding tips over a pillar, which tips over another pillar, which tips over another pillar… etc etc etc until all the pillars have fallen down… somehow the roof is not collapsed)
Pippin: How’d I do that?
(Suddenly, the a flood bursts through the wall, and Arwen and Aragorn are spwen out of the hole, half-drowned. The flood subsides)
Pippin: Aragorn? I think you’re right about smoking leaf and eating mushrooms. I quit smoking a few minutes ago…
Aragorn: (coughs) Whatever… you still have that chest?!
Arwen: (tries to look innocent) I do?