Top Ten things heroes from Middle-Earth might say if they were charged with domestic duties: by FreauxdeauxLives
Top Ten things heroes from Middle-Earth might say if they were charged with domestic duties:
10. Treebeard, doing laundry: “They come with their whites, they come with their darks, washing, drying, folding… little chores. Rummbarrrummm.”
9. Gimli, upon finally catching his kids at the mall: “A merry chase you’ve led me on to find you giggling… and… and hiding.”
8. Gandalf, showing up to watch his neighbor’s kids: “A babysitter arrives precisely when he means to. He is never late, nor is he early.”
7. Frodo, trying to figure out the child seat assembly: “It’s a riddle. ‘Baby and arrow must face rear of vehicle.’ Wait, he’s just going to keep dropping the arrow. That’s not going to work.”
6. Sauron, playing peek-a-boo: “I see you!”
5. Gimli, giving his kids at the mall a spanking: “…Another!…and another!…”
4. Elrond, holding council on the proper disposal of a soiled diaper: “You have all been called for this one doom we share. This cannot be destroyed by any craft we here possess.”
3. Theoden, drawing the water in the tub for his son: “Now for Bath! And for Bubbles! ‘Ere the water rises!”
2. Aragorn, cleaning floors: “Truly this must be Isildur’s Bane.”
1. Gollum, shopping at Wal-Mart: “I found it I did. A way through the crowds to the Express Lane. Orcs don’t use it, orcs don’t know it. They go round for miles and miles.”
22 Comments
HA!!! That was funny! Thanks for the laugh.
HAHAHA!!! This is funny. I want to see them do that now 😀 😀
Haha, that was funny! Great job! You certainly got a chuckle or two out of me. 😉
*LOL* These are hilarious!!!!
Ha ha!!!! Hysterical. Or as my kid brother would say, “historical”.
Those are SO hilarious! I really like the Theoden one and the diaper one.
AMAZING!!!!
It really was funny, especially the Sauron peek-a-boo and Gandalf babysitting!
i like them. took me a little while to get the Legolas one but they are good. =]
The onne with gullom at wal-mart is funny! Love it.
It was so funny! I love it!
lol
I liked Theoden and Elrond.
I must admit, I’m a little shocked that you consider Sauron to be hero…
Very interesting,
EQ
PS: What was Sam Gamgee’s reaction to ‘Sam I Am’?
Really funny! I especially like the Theoden one.
Ha Ha! I love it! I most certainly got more than a few chuckles. More….Please more! Precioussssssssss…….
Ok, #3 had me rolling on the floor… THAT IS PRICELESS!!! (still laughing)
This is quite funny. Especially the Sauron one!
love it~
hahaha, very cute. luv it.
ROLLING ON THE FLOOR! Well, almost, anyway. Incidentally, did Legolas or Gimli ever have kids? And who’d trust Gandalf as a babysitter after the mess he made of looking after the Fellowship while they were on the Quest?
I haven’t laughed this hard in a long time.
Thank you everyone for your kind comments, and I am glad I have made you all laugh some. It has been over 7 years since I posted this, and I’m surprised people are still finding it, 20+ pages deep in the humor section.
The ‘Sam I am’ reference was a great addition.
I wrote another Top Ten about pet peaves for teachers in the Rohan school system. If I can find it I will post, as well.
love it
I love it! That is exactly what I would expect them to say in those situations!