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VInyarion
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Post translation advice plz (revised!)
on: February 16, 2017 02:48
It's a poem about my favorite character Earwen whom my own fictional elf loves.

And if there's another good place to share Quenya composition and get advice please let me know!




Allirina lindalë Aranellen Alqualondello


Vanima ar istima i aranel-alqua
Tintillë vë elen i findë silma

Estanelyë nin málonya vinya
ha áne felme lauca nan naica

I losseli yénto avánier apa
et Alqualondello lenwelya oia

La polin pusta cacarra naina
an mel-quetië minë na allavina



Unsung Numbers for the Princess from the Swan-Haven


Gorgeous and smart was the Swan-Princess
Glinted like a star the hair silver

My young friend, you would call me
Which gave warmth but bitterness also

Gone many blossoms of two yéns after
Your departure permanent from the Swan-Haven

I cannot cease to keep on sighing
For to say love is permitted not even once

[Edited on 02/18/2017 by VInyarion]
Tamas Ferencz
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on: February 16, 2017 10:21
I personally would use ha for "which" in the second verse, which Tolkien used for similar subordinate clauses (paired with sa which was the objective pair of ha.

I also favour negation with la- instead of u-; Tolkien seemed to reject the latter in favour of former in the course of his life. But that is also a matter of choice and I wouldn't say ua is incorrect at all.

If you would like to share your translations you are always welcome in our community on Google Plus - link in my signature below.

[Edited on 02/17/2017 by Tamas Ferencz]
Languages of Middle-Earth Community - Google Plus https://plus.google.com/u/0/communities/105957840800720660334
VInyarion
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Posts: 7
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on: February 16, 2017 11:47
Tamas Ferencz said:I personally would use ha for "which" in the second verse, which Tolkien used for similar subordinate clauses (paired with sa which was the objective pair of ha.

I also favour negation with la- instead of u-; Tolkien seemed to reject the latter in favour of former in the course of his life. But that is also a matter of choice and I wouldn't say ua is incorrect at all.

If you would like to share your translations you are always welcome in our community on Google Plus - link in my signature below.

[Edited on 02/17/2017 by Tamas Ferencz]


Thank you for your advice and introducing great place

'ha' and 'sa' seems not appear in dictionaries. maybe somewhat new discoveries? It's good to know useful words!

I didn't know that 'ua' is possibly an obsolete word but 'la' doesn't make good sounds so I choose 'ua' there
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