By Ireth_Telrunya
Parody of "Hakuna Matata" by Disney's The Lion King

Glorfindel and Asfaloth sing a song for Frodo as they take him to Rivendell.

GLORFINDEL: “Noro lim, Asfaloth!”
What a wonderful thing!
“Noro lim, Asfaloth!”
ASFALOTH: I feel like I’ve got wings!
GLORFINDEL: It means “go faster,”
‘Cause Nazgûl follow the Ring–

BOTH: We’ll be Nazgûl-free, or try to be!
GLORFINDEL: “Noro lim, Asfaloth!”

FRODO: “Noro lim, Asfaloth”?
ASFALOTH: Yes, it’s my favourite call.
FRODO: What’s a call?
GLORFINDEL: I don’t know, what would you *call* it?

*GLORFINDEL and ASFALOTH laugh*

ASFALOTH: You know, Frodo, these three words will solve all your problems!
GLORFINDEL: That’s right! Take Asfaloth for example.
Why: when he was a little colt…
ASFALOTH: When I was a little COOOOOLT!
GLORFINDEL: Very nice.
ASFALOTH: Le hannon!
GLORFINDEL: He found that his running lacked a certain grace;
He could never take first prize in any race.
ASFALOTH: I’m a sensitive soul, and the loss cut deep.
And it seemed that my friends could run in their sleep!

ASFALOTH: And oh, the shame!
GLORFINDEL: He was ashamed!
ASFALOTH: I had no one to blame!
GLORFINDEL: Don’t play the blame game!
ASFALOTH: And my spirit was wrung,
GLORFINDEL: How did you feel?
ASFALOTH: ‘Cause I felt just like–
GLORFINDEL: Asfaloth! Not in front of the halfling!
ASFALOTH: Oh. Sorry.
FRODO: …?

GLORFINDEL: “Noro lim, Asfaloth!”
What a great thing to say!
“Noro lim, Asfaloth!”
ASFALOTH: Makes me feel so brave!
FRODO: It means “go faster,”
So my life can be saved–

GLORFINDEL: You’ll be poison-free — well, hopefully!
“Noro lim, Asfaloth!”

Print Friendly, PDF & Email