For starters, I do not own Sauron, Lurtz, or the ring wraiths, Tolkien does. I do own Malphos so better not copy write him.

Malphos is a minion -more like the trainee- of Sauron. He is the leading pupil of the dark arts, and the next in line to become 1st lieutenant of the one behind the veils army. He also liked to played tricks on the generals -hopefully he won’t get killed by Lurtz- including the big man himself. Today, he has plans for Sauron- I actually feel sorry for the evil immortal (lol) -who doesn’t suspect a thing. Enjoy!

“COME BACK HERE YOU FILTHY HUMAN!” Lurtz was really mad at Malphos today, with sword raised and in a rage fit for a king, “YOU DONT PLAY TRICKS ON ME WITHOUT GETTING KILLED!” Yep… really mad. “I swear, I did push you into the bubble bath, but I didn’t know there was a goblin in there!” (well… I did, but I’m not going to tell him that), Malphos ran like the wind around the halls of Mt. Doom until the ring wraiths (who were quite fond of Malphos as long that he doesn’t play tricks on them either), “Lurtz, he isn’t worth getting your back strained anymore than it should.” Lurtz looked at him angrily and walked away with a sulk. “I’ll get you one of these days Malphos, one of them.”
The wraith looked at the boy. (Who knew this runt of a child could cause so much trouble, reminds me of when I still had a body.) “Boy… one of these days, I’m not going to be here to save you.” Malphos looked at him with seriousness, then got a joyful look on his face, “I bet I can get away with annoying Sauron, Lurtz was just so I can wake up properly.” The nazgul looked at him with disbelief, “I bet ten gold coins that you can make it out of the room without getting incinerated.” Malphos got a sly grin on his face and ran towards Sauron’s quarters. “It’s a deal, see you later.” The wraith looked to the others and sighed in his inhuman voice.
Malphos opened the door to Sauron’s room and walked in unannounced “Hi Sauron.” The inanimate eye looked around to Malphos with slight annoyance, “What do you want?” He was really annoyed for he had been awoken from his sleep. “Well… tell me, Malphos, what do you want,” he looked at him expressionless. “I’m just tired and can’t sleep knowing you’re going to be happy today.” Sauron looked at him looking for the end to this conversation, “And what would that be?” the boy stood up straight and tall, “My private tutor got killed, so I’m free for the day, which means I’m all yours, babe.” Sauron pondered it for it for a moment, then realized what it meant. “Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” The yell was so loud the fellowship heard it. “Hey Gandalf, was that Sauron?”…, Yes it was Frodo.”  “You think someone found a different way to defeat him?”  “Nope, I believe that he got stuck with his least likeable minion.”  “Serves him right, making Mr. Frodo get aches in his feet… that reminds me, Mr. Frodo needs his 9th morning bath.”
If you didn’t think this was funny, please give me ideas.