Whatever Happened To Our Sanity? by fool_of_a_took_12
A/N: Hello everyone! This is my first fanfic, and I worked very hard on it. Please read and review, and I hope you enjoy!
DISCLAIMER: I do not own LotR, I just get to obsess over it 24/7.
“Do we have everything, Sam?”
“I’m just gettin’ my frying pan, Mr. Frodo, and then we’ll be off.”
“Sam, I don’t think you’ll need to cook anything in Gondor. They have plenty of food.”
“Well, I’ll bring it anyway, in case I need to protect you from any danger.”
“Very well, Sam, if you like. Merry, Pippin, are you ready?”
It had been three months since the former Ringbearer and his hobbit companions had returned to the Shire, and they were getting ready to journey to Minas Tirith to see their friends again. Also attending the reunion in Gondor were Legolas, Gimli, Gandalf, Aragorn, Arwen, Faramir, and Eowyn. However, the four hobbits had no idea what they were in for, and Sam would in fact be needing his frying pan in the days to come.
After a few days of traveling, they finally made it to the city, and were met by guards at the front gate. Frodo’s blue eyes widened as soon as he saw their uniforms, and he tried desperately to stifle a chuckle. The guards were clad entirely in hot pink, every single fold covered in gold sequins and butterfly stickers. Enormous fluffy feathers of all colors were protruding from their hats.
“Welcome to Minas Tirith, my lords. Please, follow us.” the head guard said in an annoyingly high-pitched voice. The hobbits were immediately surrounded by the rest of the soldiers, forcing them to trot along very quickly to avoid getting skewered by the long, pointy spears that the guards were holding.
“Merry…” Pippin whispered, his voice trembling. “Why are they bowing to a statue?” He was pointing to an extremely large crowd of people, who were lying face down on the ground in front of a colossal golden eyesore that somehow resembled Aragorn.
One of the guards, overhearing his question, replied, “Those are the peasants, of course, and they are worshipping our wonderful, marvelous, terrific, amazing, superb, awesome, fantastic, handsome, strong, skillful, perfect leader, King Frickin’ Aragorn.”
“King Frickin’ Aragorn? Really?” Merry snorted. He and the rest of the hobbits began laughing loudly, although none of them actually knew what the unusual term meant. However, their giggles were cut short as the angry guards knocked them all unconscious and dumped them into a large sack, which, if you did not previously know, is not the customary way to escort guests of royalty.
Frodo opened his eyes and squinted at the bright light shining above him. Sitting up slowly, he ruefully massaged a large bruise on his forehead and got to his feet. Suddenly becoming aware of loud crashing noises behind him, the hobbit whirled around and was met with a terrifying sight.
Gandalf and Gimli were on top of the table, dancing the polka and singing opera. Eowyn had backed Merry and Pippin into a corner, and was biting and scratching them like a cat. Aragorn and Legolas were arguing loudly with each other, with the king making very intimidating beheading motions and the elf fumbling for his weapons (which had unfortunately been confiscated from him by the guards). And Faramir was lying face down on the floor in the middle of the room, being poked and prodded by a very concerned Sam.
Frodo shuffled cautiously towards Aragorn and was about to speak when Arwen let out a piercing scream. Everyone paused their insanity and clapped their hands over their ears, writhing in pain. Frodo fell to his knees and clutched his head, wondering why the Valar were so cruel to him. Was bringing the Ring to Mordor not enough pain to endure?
Listening intently at the door out in the hall was a young servant girl. As soon as she heard the Queen’s scream, she locked the door and strolled calmly away with an evil grin. You would think that she would run in and see what was the matter, her job being to serve people, but no. Not at all. The girl had experienced this many times, and knew that the best thing to do was to lock them in for a few days and slip meals through a special slot in the door that had been designed for this very purpose.
It was going to be a long day.
Thank you so much for reading! Please leave a review below. Tell me what you liked, what you think I should add, what it could do without, everything! I’m sorry if it was kind of short, I will post the next chapter as soon as possible. I hope you enjoyed, and have a great day!