1) You are convinced that somewhere in your geneology there is an Elf
2) You know exactly who it was
3) You talk to trees
4) You can interpret things from the weather. A red sun rises, blood has been spilt this night
5) When you wish to insult someone, you call them a “Dwarf” and say phrases like “Fool of a Took”
6) You own a copy of the one ring
7) You stroke it and whisper to yourself “My precious”
8) Your have done some type of artist rendering of each of the members of the fellowship, the crowning piece of which is a large framed picture of Legolas, with lipstick kisses on the glass.
9) You know and use the calendar of “The Shire reckoning”
10) You are never late. Nor are you early. You arrive precisely when you mean to.
11) You have a strange obsession with indoor fireworks
12) You know the words to more than two Hobbit drinking songs
13) You sing these on a regular basis
14) Your friends no longer understand your e-mails, as they are all typed in Elvish
15) When your teacher assigns you a paper related to Shakespeare, you hand in an essay on Beren and Luthien, equating them with Romeo and Juliet
16) You know who Beren and Luthien are
17) You have given up on communication with all non- LOTR fanatics
18) You have a Middle earth based costume, which you dress in frequently
19) You have written a love letter to a member of the fellowship
20) You can recite the entire script of FOTR word perfect and have done so many times.
21) You keep yourself entertained by playing question games with yourself ‘Whatsss it got in itsss pocketss?’
22) You know the words to Gollum’s fish song.
23) You have sung Gollum’s fish song many times, mimicking his voice “So juicy sweeeet!”
24) Every piece of music you hear reminds you of a theme from the soundtrack of LOTR
25) Your entire family has memorized the sound track from hearing you blast it all the time
26) You see a tree and think to yourself “That looks Entish”
27) You can speak with your friends for hours at a time using only movie dialogues, and it makes perfect sense
28) You have gotten in trouble for throwing jewelry into the fire
29) You keep maps lying around, waiting for the day when you can go back and “see mountains again”
30) You’re disappointed when your one ring doesn’t make you disappear.
31) You have trained your pets in Elvish
32) When you fell in love you told the other person that “you would bind yourself to him” and then gave him a cheap piece of jewelry
33) You tried to convince your teacher that “knowledge and frequent use of the Elvish language” belongs on your transcript
34) You have memorized the complete musical score from FOTR
35) You have convinced yourself that the Elves didn’t die out, but instead, they got zapped into the future, where they became Vulcans
36) Your idea of a perfect mate is three foot tall and fury feet
37) You no longer use your real name, using instead your name in Elvish
38) You know what your name is in Elvish, Dwarvish, and Orcish
39) When speaking of the cafeteria lunches “We ain’t had nothing but maggoty bread for three stinkin’ days!”
40) You dream of lembas and mushrooms
41) You have gotten frostbite from repeating to yourself “Elves don’t feel the cold, Elves don’t feel the cold….”
42) You often wonder about Elven children
43) You are willing to experiment with Legolas
44) You are ashamed at the above line, knowing that more than once that thought has crossed your mind
45) You are now blushing

I would love to know what y’all think.

These are entirely original.
Please don’t use them anywhere else without my permision. Thanks!

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