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gwendeth
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Post Poem Translation
on: June 13, 2004 03:17
LOL! It's been a while... but this is a poem I wrote and translated yesterday. It's a 'prayer/song' for a wedding. Taking Iavas' que , it's a combo of S/N/Neo...

NOTE: I have no 'particular' reason for using 'mi' instead of 'ned' for 'in'... except perhaps the 'sound' of it... and I preferred using 'mi' rather than 'vi'. I agree with the theory of 'mi' being the (granted - unattested) correct 'original' form of that word.

Also, once or twice I used 'en' because of the 'flow' rather than just using word order to convey 'posession'.

I used "gûr nín" instead of 'guren' for the same reason... the 'flow'.

And... am I correct that the adjective describing collective plural doesn't need to be pluralized?

Hopefully, I didn't mess things up too badly!

Rainbow Mists
Eiliant Hîth
Rainbow Mists


In the mists of rainbows,
Mi hîth eiliaint,
In [the] mists [of] rainbows,

and summer-soft winds -
a gwaew laer-voe -
and winds summer-soft -

Under twinkling stars of night…
nu 'iliath hilivren e-dû…
under stars glittering of the night…
++
In the warm light of day,
Mi calad laug en-arad,
In [the] light warm of the day,

from the depths of my heart -
uin gûr nín nûr -
from the heart mine deep-

This wish I give you today…
Iest hen le annon sír…
Wish this you I give today…

++
In the Moon's silver light,
Mi calad gelebren Ithil,
In [the] light silver [of the] Moon,

To have laughter, and peace -
Gared lalaith, a sîdh, -
To have laughter, and peace -

And joys without end…
A gill pen-veth…
And joys without-end…
++
In love's soft words,
Mi pith voe meleth,
In words soft [of] love,

And bright crystal songs -
A glîr gelair ivyr -
And songs brilliant crystal-

Together as one… forever!
Go-hui min… an-uir!
Together-as one… forever!
"Tolo si, a tiro i cherth Eru" "Come now, and see the works of God"
Eowyn_Tinuviel
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Post RE: Poem Translation
on: June 13, 2004 08:05
I'm not very good at Sindarin yet, so I won't presume to 'correct' your Elvish, but the poem is beautiful.

~Éowyn
Uialdil_i_degilbor
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Post RE: Poem Translation
on: June 13, 2004 09:56
I have no 'particular' reason for using 'mi' instead of 'ned' for 'in'... except perhaps the 'sound' of it.

The two words are not interchangeable. The attested occurence of ned is translated as 'of', not 'in', and seems to be used for dates. Perhaps 'during' is a more accurate translation. (It must be admitted, though, that in the etymologies the stem NED- is given as 'in'. )The only attested Sindarin word we have for 'in' is vi. It may be a lenited form of mi; it certainly started out that way. In his analysis of Ae Adar nín, however, Bill Welden gives plausible reasons why vi may, in fact, be the proper form of the word in isolation. I use vi as it is the attested form.

And... am I correct that the adjective describing collective plural doesn't need to be pluralized?

In A Elbereth, there is galadremmin ennorath, galadhremmin presumably the plural of past participle galadhremmen. And we know that the group plural takes the plural article. So I would assume that yes, the adjective should be pluralised.
Naneth
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Post RE: Poem Translation
on: June 13, 2004 09:50
This is so beautiful, as usual, Gwendeth !! I think you have a heart full of love !!!

I just have two suggestions for you:
A gill pen-veth…
And joys without-end…
>>>> ben-veth (pen > ben; perhaps "gell" so you don't have to pluralize adjective and have all those "i"s)

Together as one… forever!
Go-hui min… an-uir!
Together-as one… forever!
>>>> since "go-" needs to be attached to a verb or verbal derivative, perhaps "go-wedennin/ or go-guiol sui min" (bound together/ or living together as one)
gwendeth
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Post RE: Poem Translation
on: June 14, 2004 03:57
:blush: Le hannon, Naneth! Thanks muchly, I'll make those changes.

gwen
"Tolo si, a tiro i cherth Eru" "Come now, and see the works of God"
Aelfwine
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Post RE: Poem Translation
on: June 23, 2004 02:34
It must be admitted, though, that in the etymologies the stem NED- is given as 'in'.


There is no such base in Etymologies or anywhere else. The base NÉD- is glossed as 'middle, centre'. See my other post just prior to this, entitled "Sindarin ned", for details.
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