The Amelia Poppy Interviews: Legolas by TheKeeperOfTheHoppingFrog
The Amelia Poppy Interviews:
Legolas
…Fellowship is walking through forest. Suddenly Legolas disappears…and appears in a strraaaange place….
Amelia Poppy: Hello, Prince Legolas, I’m Amelia Poppy.
Legolas: Hello, Amelia. Please, just call me Legolas…..Why in the world am I here??! *looks nervous*
AP: *heh heh* I have kidnapped you to answer questions from your adoring fan girls!!!
Legolas:….uuuhmm..fan girls?! What are fan girls?!
AP: Girls, that ..uhh… you don’t want to get into it. But when I tell you to run, RUN! *hears screaming fan girls in background*
Legolas: ….Ok…. please ask your questions, I’d like to go home!
AP: Al right, what’s it like being the Prince of Mirkwood?
Legolas: Fine… I guess.
AP: Great then, what do you like to do in your spare time?
Legolas: Kill orcs and wash my hair!! My beautiful, lovely hair…*pets hair* I also like to nag Aragorn to wash his!
AP: Can I pet your hair? Pweeeez? *stares at hair*
Legolas: Well… I guess so, if you wash your hands first!
AP: Great! I’ll be right back…. oopsies… better strap you to your chair! Don’t want you running away now do we?
Legolas: *gulp* A-Alright…. *looks terrified*
AP: Be back in a jiffy!
Legolas: What’s a jiffy?
AP: Never mind…
….. (2 minutes later)….OooOOoooo…soft hair!
Legolas: Ack! Careful! Don’t split any ends! Aaaaaaaaa…
AP: *pulls out scissors* I just want a little lock…
Legolas: NOOO!
…*SNIP*…..
Legolas: *faints*
AP: Legolas? Legolas? Wake up! *slap*
Legolas: Huh? Wha-…. *sees hair in Amelia’s hand*…. AAAA!! AAAH! AAA!!
AP: Here, I have a surprise that will make you feel aaalll better!!
*smiles brightly* *pulls Legolas doll out from behind back*
Surprise!!
Legolas: What is it?! It looks very freakish.
AP: Duh silly, it YOU!! Cute huh?
Legolas: *shriek* aAAaaAAAh! The hair is all messy, and where is it’s shiny glimmer?!
AP: Uhh…. I was just joking! HAHAHA! It’s not you! *feels embarrassed*
Legolas: *GASP* You scared me! My hair could never look that wretched!
AP: Oookay…new question. How do you stand being friends with a smelly dwarf like Gimli?
Legolas: Well, he’s paying me big money to act like I’m his friend…because I’m a prince and I have great hair and all. *flips hair* *looks proud*
AP: Yes… gorgeous hair… uh-huh….
Legolas: *Glares at Amelia* Is that it? I’d like to go home now…
AP: NO, this is your home, with ME!!!!! *evil laughter*
Legolas: *trying to squirm away*
…..Meanwhile back in Middle-Earth…..
Aragorn: Hey! Where did Legolas go? He hasn’t been bugging me about the lather, rinse, repeat technique for a while!!!
5 Comments
that was by me (alex(andra)), my cuz paulla (boromirsbabe), and our friend danielle!
It kept me laughing. The whole time I read it.
My second story in reading every humerous fanfic here, and I like it. I give it three stars, it’s very very funny if you read it and imagine people talking very fast.
uuummmmmm…ok….sorry……boring. honestly, the whole legolas and his shampoo thing has been taken way too far. the first couple of times, it was sorta funny, but by now it’s just annoying. this isn’t a criticism of your writing in particular, just the subject matter. so sorry if this counts as flaming(don’t mean for it to be :)), but i think you could do better than this. <><
Hilarious!