LadyAdaneth is a well-known personality in the Gardening circles of Middle-earth. A member of the Realm of Yavanna, some of her achievements include:

– Designing the first cocoa plantation in the Shire
– Introducing spiders to Mirkwood as a biological control for some very unpleasant horseflies (OK, that one didn’t go quite as planned)
– That super makeover of the flooded surroundings of Orthanc as a boating park.

When we announced that LadyAdaneth would be happy to provide her inimitable insights into your gardening conundrums, we little expected the volume of mail we received. We print a selection of them for your enlightenment.

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Dear LadyA,
I have this dead tree in my yard. It’s been there a long time and there is this stupid legend about it flowering “when the King will come again.” Yeah, right! Gondor has no King, Gondor needs no King! Anyway, my superstitious gardener refuses to take it out, so I need advice on what to do to camouflage it a bit. It’s right in the middle of my ceremonial processional route and it’s making me feel really depressed….D. son of E., Minas Tirith.

Dear D. son of E.,
Oh, if I had a gold piece for every time a garden centre’s come up with that old tale when they’ve sold a dying tree…Well, I recommend a nice Clematis “L. Sackville-Baggins” (quite invasive – ideal for your purpose), paired with Rosa “Rivendell showers” which will bloom later. Try it and you’ll get plenty of blossom, King or no King. Failing that, remember that dead trees burn really, really well…

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Dear LadyA,
I have a problem with Mallorn leaves falling in my Mirror. They rot, and my visions grow troubled. Any advice? Lady G., Lothlórien.

Dear Lady G.,
Either cut down the Mallorn trees or put some chicken wire over the Mirror. Or get a palantír instead, I’m told they’re the latest thing…

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Dear LadyA,
Can you recommend a quick-maturing but long-keeping variety of apple for a sheltered spot, as we have a big family and a great liking for apples? P. Took, The Shire.

Dear P. Took,
At last a sensible question! A typical family of Hobbits needs at least 4 trees to provide apples for eating, more if cider is planned. I’d plant 2 “Longbottom russet” and 2 “Shire Beauty” and you’ll be well provided for.

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Dear LadyA,
Can you recommend some suitable plants for seaside growing conditions? I’ve tried Mallorn trees and they just burn in the winds and salt. Círdan the Shipwright, Grey Havens.

Dear Círdan,
Mallorn trees are practically impossible to grow outside Lothlórien, I have to grudgingly admit that Lady Galadriel has done a nice piece of work there. No, for your purposes I’d go for Pittosporum. Grow them in hedges and you’ll have plenty of shelter to grow almost anything else (shorter) inland of them. In fact, you could have a microclimate so favourable you could grow early spring flowers and start an export trade to Valinor. Think about it.

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Dear LadyA,
My cocoa trees fruit, but the pods disappear mysteriously the night before I plan to harvest them… This happens year after year. What can I do? S. Gamgee, The Shire

Dear S. Gamgee,
I’m afraid your problem is Yavannildi. These cunning followers of Yavanna have a pathological craving for chocolate, and will use many wiles to obtain the cocoa pods they need to craft the delicious delicacy. The best thing you can do is invite me to watch over your cocoa grove just before harvest time, I’ll make sure those pods end up in the right hands …*looks innocent*

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by LadyAdaneth

From the day I joined the Realm of Yavanna, I had heard mysterious legends about a secret stash of chocolate hidden somewhere in the realm. As the members of the realm of Yavanna are famous for their love – some might call it an obsession – with chocolate, no one ever doubted this rumour. Chocolate permeated all aspects of Yavannildi life. The Realm of Yavanna seemed to be the best place on CoE to keep this chocolate. An anonymous tipster reports, “it’s Rivka’s chocolate, that she’s been hiding in our Realm!!”

Another source, speaking on condition of anonymity, explained, “”Well, the stash was founded in 2003, along with the Realms, by a secret of which we have not been able to determine the name, as it IS a secret society. Of course, there has been some debate about whether the society actually exists at all. In my opinion, the original members had to be…” and was dragged off by armed guards amid her explanation.

I was intrigued, and relentlessly searched for this elusive chocolate, said to be of the finest quality to be found anywhere on Middle-earth. Neither I nor any of my fellow realmers seemed to know where this mysterious chocolate was. I assumed it was in the possession of Yavanna’s realm staff, so when I was offered the chance to be a realm leader, I jumped at it. However, I soon discovered that the chocolate was not to be gained so easily. Fortunately, another tip soon came my way: a rumour about a chocolate cave.

What is a chocolate cave? I don’t know, and I never did; nonetheless, I spent weeks investigating anything that looked remotely like a cave, but I didn’t find it. I soon concluded that there was no secret chocolate stash anywhere in the realm.

When I became Yavanna’s realm head, I assumed that the mysteries of the Secret Chocolate Stash would be revealed to me. However, I found no chocolate. I continued to search, and even talked to an admin who shall remain unnamed, but was told she could not help me.

In reaction to this, Realm Leader Timpenin commented, “Pay no attention to her!! She’s hiding it fro! –” and was also promptly dragged off by armed guards. The plot thickened.

I soon began to hear whispers among the realmers along the lines of “Heehee, she still thinks it doesn’t exist!” I realized that the secret chocolate stash – and hence, the true power behind the realm – was hidden among the Yavannildi, not the realm’s leaders. However, few believe this, and there seem to be three camps of chocolate-stash theorists: Achocolatists, those who believe there is no secret chocolate; Polichocolatists, those who believe more than one Yavanna member is conspiring to keep the chocolate a secret; and Oligo-chocolatists, those who believe the power of keeping the chocolate is vested in a select few, usually supposed to be the realm staff. There is no obvious answer to the question of the chocolate’s whereabouts, but one thing is clear: the Yavanna chocolate stash, whether it exists or not, is and will always be shrouded in mystery.

by LadyEowyn_of_Rohan, assisted by Timpenin

The Realm of Yavanna is one of CoE’s fourteen realms, communities based on Tolkien’s Valar, or godlike beings who ruled Middle-earth. As it is named after and based on Yavanna Kementári, the Valië mostly associated with plants and the earth, many of Yavanna’s members are interested in gardening, creative endeavours, cooking, music, and other activities that Yavanna might have enjoyed. (You can read more about Yavanna here.)

The realm forum is divided into four subforums. The first of these is “About Yavannildi”, in which members offer Happy Birthday greetings, petition for a wider range of shoe sizes, and discuss their different dialects. Did you know that “yooper” is slang for someone who lives in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula, or that 52% of the Yavannildi prefer dark chocolate to the milk variety?

The next subforum is “Contests and Activities”, in which the Yavannildi discuss realm projects, contests, and activities, such as a poetry swap and a realm slogan contest. Another subforum is “News and Announcements.” Though most news is announced on the realm’s “front page”, or main forum, the News and Announcements forum functions as a news archive and place to announce news that is not urgent.

The last subforum is “Playtime and Discussion”, the heart of the realm, in which the Yavannildi play games, talk about their lives, roleplay, and more. The most active thread is the Randomness thread, closely followed by games such as The Person Above Me.

To discover more about the realm, take a look at the realm charter, or PM LadyEowyn_of_Rohan, the realm head, or Timpenin and Lossendiliel, the realm leaders.

by LadyEowyn_Of_Rohan

Treebeard, the oldest of the Ents – shepherds of the forests of Middle-earth – has a long memory and a vast knowledge of the earth he roams and used to roam. With matters of great importance, Treebeard gives great consideration to them, such as when he first encounters Merry and Pippin, thinking them out slowly and carefully. He is a just being, doing what is right and usually not going to one side or anything. For instance, Treebeard takes Merry and Pippin to Wellinghall, which is near Methedras, the last peak of the Misty Mountains, and gives them Ent-draught and tells them stories of the Entwives.

On most matters, though, he takes things nice and slow – like all Ents do. His motto, is, in fact: Do not be hasty! An exception of this happened during The War of the Ring, when he and the other Ents moved quickly and helped to defeat Saruman, though not before having a three-day meeting called Entmoot. Fifty Ents attended the meeting and at the end of it, all of them left for Isengard, Treebeard leading them all, with Merry and Pippin on his shoulders. When they arrived there at night, Treebeard ordered Saruman to come out, but he did not, and so the Ents destroyed his machinery and the walls around Isengard. Saruman still did not come out and so the next night, Treebeard flooded the lair of Saruman.

The next day, Gandalf, Legolas, King Théoden, Aragorn and Gimli arrived and Treebeard handed the Hobbits over to them, and also invited Legolas and, with disgruntled feeling, Gimli, to come to Fangorn Forest. After Gandalf cast Saruman out of the Order of the Istari, Treebeard told Gandalf he would stay to keep watch over the tower and Saruman, while the others left, and would remain there “until seven times the years in which he tormented us have passed”.

by ~Stella~

How did you find CoE?
I found the link on the website of someone who at least used to post here. I remembered someone else having mentioned the Sindarin courses and checked what this site was all about; I didn’t lurk for long before I joined, but guess if I’ve had time for the language courses…

What are your favourite areas of the site?
The Books section and the Realm of Vairë are the ones I always check, if I’m busy and only have time for the forums that are most important to me.

How often do you visit CoE?
Daily, if I can.

How many times have you read the books?
For LOTR, I’ve lost count, but at least five times. The other “basic” books – The Hobbit, The Silmarillion, and Unfinished Tales – maybe four times each, and now I’m systematically reading through the HoME series, although that’s a long-time project.

Who is your favourite LOTR character?
Uhh, hard to say. I don’t have any absolute favourite. At the moment, I’m quite fond of Treebeard, Théoden and Gimli.

Do you have a favourite scene from the trilogy?
The scene that moved me most was Théoden mourning for his son in TTT. And I just loved Merry and Pippin welcoming Théoden’s company to Isengard.

What character left out of the films do you miss most?
Beregond, the soldier who risked his own life to save Faramir from Denethor’s madness.

Do you know any Sindarin or Quenya?
Just some basics, so that I can understand the meaning of names etc. I wish I’d get an opportunity to learn some more.

What did you enjoy most about the ROTK EE?
Several small details that were only added in the EE, such as Sam seeing the star in Mordor, and the statue of the ancient king at the Crossroads.

How did you find CoE?
Through the gallery, looking for pictures of a particular actor that I can’t actually remember the name of…so obviously that was a lasting crush. But everyone seemed really friendly, so I decided to bench myself here for a while.

What are your duties here at CoE?
Oh, you know…I travel around with the mop, bucket and floor polish, visiting the forums where Legolas is spoken of. No, really, I moderate the Roleplaying forum with my fantastic co-mods, to ensure that our members have the most fun possible in a safe environment.

What are your favourite areas of the site?
Well, I love the creativity displayed by many of our storytellers in the RPG forum, of course. I also like to drop by the Gallery and the Movie/Palantír forums when I get the time.

How often do you visit CoE?
Usually each day to keep up with my mod duties…depending on how hectic life gets. Luckily duty isn’t always an ugly business.

How many times have you read the books?
Um…well, I admit to ten. Whether that is accurate or not I can’t (or won’t) say.

Who is your favourite LOTR character?
Well, there are so many to choose from, aren’t there? Psychopaths, megalomaniacs and the suchlike. Anyway, there is Haldir, of course…but Sam is probably my favourite.

Do you have a favourite scene from the trilogy?
Hmm. *long, thoughtful silence* Call me boring (and do it silently, please), but I love the credits at the end of The Return of the King. The artwork is simply stunning. But if you’re talking proper scenes, I love the Passing of the Elves in The Fellowship of the Ring.

What character left out of the films do you miss most?
Elladan and Elrohir. And Gildor.

Do you know any Sindarin or Quenya?
Not much. As Craig Parker said, “My Elvish has left the building.” I got about three lessons into CoE’s course and decided it was probably best that I devote my brain power (limited at best!) to my university studies, so what Elvish I learned is mostly forgotten now. Of course, now and again a line from the movies will try to invade everyday speech in order to embarrass me…but so far I have overpowered it.

What did you enjoy most about the ROTK EE?
Ooh…this is where the true movie fans yell at me. I have tremendous trouble remembering what was in the theatrical release and what wasn’t! I guess the scene that stands out for me the most is Faramir and Éowyn’s scene together in the Extended Edition, so I’ll go with that one.

As most of you have probably noticed, there’s something new around CoE! The Clubs section has only been around for a few days, but it’s growing fast, with entries ranging anywhere from favorite TV shows to animals and music and, of course, LotR.

The new section began unofficially in our very own chat room and soon expanded into the Member Websites and also into the old Journals. (Rumour has it that the first clubs were actor fan clubs, but we here in Yavanna think that whatever it was, it probably had something to do with chocolate.) Although our lovely admins originally thought about making the Clubs a division of the Journals, the recent decision to shut them down gave Rivka the idea to make it a completely new part of the site.

Just two days after they were started, 35 clubs had popped up and they continue to grow about as fast as hobbits can run to a supper table. And according to Clubs Mod alyanome, “Feel free to test different things in the clubs. Use those buttons you see while you post, you can’t make permanent harm there unless you click delete on your own entry! Check out where you get when you click all those links you see. And remember, in the clubs area are the same codes as in the forums, so HTML won’t work.” So, there you have it: try new things, get together with all your friends, make new ones, eat chocolate (oops, how did that get in there?), and have fun!

by Timpenin, assisted by alyanome

The May issue of the Council Courier has featured the following riddle:

He that is born to be stabbed shall never be drowned.

The answer is: The Witch-king. Explanation: The Witch-king is really the only one who is nearly drowned and then is stabbed. He is nearly drowned at the Ford Of Bruinen by Elrond and then he is stabbed by both Merry and Éowyn on the Pelennor Fields.

Don’t forget to check out the next issue of the newsletter for the list of winners, and for a new and exciting riddle, of course!

As good historians, we have delved into myth and legend and found out some interesting things that change our view of Middle-earth times a great deal. There has been forgery, even Vairë’s tapestries showed the wrong truth, but we were brave enough to go to places where the ultimate truth could be found, the unalterable truth, and this is what we found.

Beren did not win a Silmaril through bravery, instead, he was bribed with one by Morgoth.

Worried? No, just killed Faramir off to do a little voodoo and hypnotising.

Galadriel getting extremely angry because she was offered a silly Ring instead of a Fell Beast.

Morgoth and Fingolfin, ME’s greatest tennis champions, in a friendly match during the Angband Open, 455 FA.

Played with a knife and ‘accidentally’ cut Maedhros…now he just needs a place to dispose of him.

Gandalf was actually trying to kill Théoden, because he knew Éomer would be easier to manipulate.

A loving and caring Éowyn feeds Aragorn. In fact, she was trying to poison him.

Eärendil paying Morgoth a visit in the Void, and returning the Silmaril to its rightful owner. He was eventually pardoned and got a replica as a souvenir.

The Nazgûl know best. To fight off stress, there’s nothing like a little weekend escapade at the Shire Spa Resort™.

A tragic ending? Not quite…in fact, Boromir was holding a knife and betrayed little Mr. Still-Not-King in favour of an arrangement with the Uruks.

Who said Orcs aren’t capable of tenderness and grace? This couple shows both in this intensely romantic bridal waltz.

Why should weapons lack an aesthetic touch? Contrary to what you might think, the pink glittery lights are in fact bombs that are being dropped on Gandalf.

No, of course the peaceful folk of Umbar weren’t attacking Gondor. They were just having a little POTC re-enactment.

Guard of the Citadel? Umm, yes, but not the Citadel you’re thinking of. Pippin actually swore fealty to the Dark Lord, as you can see in this very touching scene.

It doesn’t really matter who you’re addressing; as long as he’s mightier than you, a little flattery is always welcome: “My Lord, they will worship you as a puppy worships its master.”

Few creatures understand the Dark Lord’s peculiar sense of humour, yet Saruman seems to be one of them.

War preparations? No, just escorting the ladies of Sauron’s harem back to their master.

You take it! No, you take it!…Gandalf and Saruman fighting over the very last Silmaril. Which was, of course, a fake, as we’ve already revealed in the Eärendil picture.

by Eressëa and Nenyia

Art by: John Howe, Ted Nasmith, Montanini, Anke Eissmann, Jenny Dolfen, Lundgren, Wyatt