92 Ways to Annoy Sauron by ElewenMae
#1: Mock his choice in becoming an eye.
Knock, “Hey Sauron?” knock, knock, “Can I come in?”
The giant eye known as Sauron, turned away from Gondor to glare at me. “WHAT DO YOU WANT, KADZA?”
I rolled my eyes. “Sheesh, calm down, Saury. I just wanted to say hi.”
“DON’T CALL ME SAURY.”
I folded my arms across my chest. “Stop yelling. Maybe people would like you better if you didn’t yell.” I cocked my head to the side, as if I had just thought of something. “Or maybe if you weren’t a creepy giant eye that watches people. You know, that’s rather stalkerish. I should know.”
I swear I heard him sigh. “KAD- I mean, Kadza, I know about your thing for the Elf, but no, you cannot go to Rohan just to watch him brush his hair! If you are going to Rohan at all, it will be because I need you to do your job!”
I sighed at the mention of the Elf. “But he’s so pretty!”
“Fine.” I grumbled. “Freaking eye. Just jealous cause he can’t walk like everyone else in Middle-earth.”
A low growl came from my master. I decided that now was a good time to run, before he set the Uruk-hai on me.