This is dedicated to everyone’s favourite hobbit, Smeagol! (hehe, and he is a hobbit, by the way)Please excuse the rather bad spelling and grammar, its supposed to be as Gollum/Smeagol would say it, so its rather terrible!(Reviews are appreciated)


The cave where he had been living was always dark. No light penetrated deep into the mountain where he was. The orcs came sometimes, but not often as he would take them if it was possible. The frog they called him, and that is what he looked like.

However, at this time, there was no evil light in his eyes, only hunger. The One Ring, his Precious had not anticipated hunger, and that is what Gollum felt. Though called Gollum, at this moment he did not feel it, he felt like Sméagol, the one whom the ring had betrayed.

“Famissssshed,” the word slipped out of Sméagol’s mouth. “No fisheses, no lovely, juicy fisheses. No nasty orcseses either. We are hungry, there is nothing for us to eat!”

“What would it have us do,” snapped a different voice, but it also came from his mouth. Gollum was speaking.


“Does it thinksss we do not also feels it,” Gollum snapped back. “We feels it also, fool.”

“We could leave you and go find juicy fisheseseses. We could go.”

“But could you though, could you leave us and the Precious?”

“We could try,” came the sullen reply.

“We would strangle you first, and then the Precious would be all mine!”

With that, Gollum brought out his Ring from where he kept it in his island. The One Ring glittered, though there was no light to reflect upon it. It was utterly cruel, utterly malicious and evil, and it gnawed and Sméagol and Gollum, they could not leave it.

“It is a fool to try,” said Gollum. “You cannot leave the Preciousss, it will haunt, and we will alwaysss have it! If you do not haves it, then how will you hide from the bright eyeseses of those who watchesss us?”

“We….. would finds a way. We survived without you before, we have not alwaysss been forced to lisssten.”

“It is a fool.”

“Why does it call uss a fool? We did sssurvive, we lived.”

“But they haunted you didn’t they, my Preciousss? They cames after uss and threws us out.”

“We were not the oneses who spied, it was you and the Precious, you tormented us. Its is all your fault!”

“What does its say?” spoke Gollum in a monologue to the night, even though, in the decent world, it was day. “Why doess it accuseses uss of what we dids not do? Poor Sméagol, it is mistaken.”

“We ares not missstaken,” snarled Sméagol, almost Gollum-like. “Its all because of you. We should leave, we wills leave.”

There was no chance for Gollum to reply though. A noise came creeping along his tunnel to his layer.

“Seeses now?” said Gollum. “Here is a nice crunchable goblinses, which it can cruncheses on. All isss well.”

Gollum had now eaten his orc. A meagre meal, but it was better than nothing, or so Gollum deceived himself. Sméagol was not put off so easily. The argument had not finished, nor would it anytime soon.

“We will still leave,” said Sméagol sullenly.

“Why does it still moan?” Gollum replied as a monologue. “When its has still eatens, it still moans. It will never learn will its? Its will always complain!”

“We woulds not complains if you woulds let us be!”

“You cannot leave us, there is no way, we will not let you, and you cannot leave.”

“Its is all yours fault.”

“We dids not sstrangle Déagol, did we Precious, we did not take the Ring from him, and murrder him. Its wass you! Yous did it!”

“Buts you leds uss here, too the nassty mountain, where theys cannot finds uss, buts orcseses and fissheses are the onlys things to eat. Wes could be eating others things, like eggses, and meatses that is not darkss.”

“That iss the only thing you can eatses now, Precious. Thatss is the only things we will let you eatses!”

The Ring was now, by this time beginning to get tired of the endless argument of Gollum and Sméagol. It was in a dangerous position, though Sméagol still felt the pull of the Ring, if he was allowed to increase his strength, then he would get rid of the Ring, for he hated it, even if Gollum loved it.

“Its is not our Preciouss. We hatess it.”

This is what the Ring had feared, a rejection of it. Unless the Ring found something to get it out of this cave, it would stay there forever, until Gollum found it again, and then there would be no other opportunity to lose him, for he would guard it ceaselessly.

The Ring would have to wait until Gollum was on the bank though. While he was on his island, there would be no getting off it, unless it rolled to the bottom of the pool, and it shuddered to think of what it would find there.

“Why doess it hate the Preciouss?!” screeched Gollum. “Whats has it done to yous?!”

“Its hass gotten uss stuck here.”

With that Sméagol leapt onto his boat that he had fashioned to get to the shore and went there, for he had made up his mind that he would leave the cave, he would go away from it.

“Whatss its doing?” screamed Gollum in horror.

There was no response though, for there was no time to give one.

A scrabbling noise was coming towards Gollum and Sméagol. It was not orc, it did not make enough noise for that. However, it was no other creature that they knew, unless perhaps, they could recall who they had been.

It was a hobbit.

The Ring then saw the opportunity, and left, but Gollum would not realise, it, as he scrabbled back on his boat to the island.

Bilbo Baggins, took the Ring, Gollum’s Precious, as has been told elsewhere. Some say it was
the oddest part of the Ring’s history, but imagine what would have happened if Sméagol had taken it out of that place. What would have happened to Middle Earth then?

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