The Two Towers

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Part 1
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With Gandalf falling in the hole with the Balrog…

Gandalf: Look I said I was sorry!

Balrog: Heard it! *starts crying*

Gandalf: It is ok! *hugs balrog*

Balrog: YOU ARE ALL LIES MISTER!!!*shoves Gandalf away*

Gandalf: But-

Balrog: NO BUTS WITH ME!! *scrapes nails against walls by accident and screams* OH MY!! I BROKE A NAIL!!!

Gandalf: Back to our “relationship”

Balrog: I AM HAVING A CRISIS!!!

Gandalf: errr…

Balrog: Ok! I am done now!

Gandalf: So our relationship…

Balrog: HOW DARE YOU BRING THAT UP!!

Gandalf: But-

Balrog: Just…Don’t talk to me..

Gandalf: So you’re going to be like that! Well…then…*starts fighting with Balrog*

Later Gandalf bumps his head on a rock and turns to an idiot….

After he kills the balrog he falls down into a giant pool of water and starts swimming….

Gandalf: good thing I went to that swimming meet….*pulls out Flipper floatie* otherwise I wouldn’t have this inflatable floatie! *floatie pops* Uh-oh *he flies around and hits a giant rock on the shore’s edge* I think my leg is broken *jumps up* I guess not! Ok…where am I….*looks around* Ok the endless stairway…wonder why they call it that…

After 5 hours of walking up….

Gandalf: Now I know why…. *finally reaches top* FINALLY! *kisses ground* Wait..just think of how many people climbed up here and kissed the ground….OH WELL!!! *kisses ground again* *gets up* FOOD!!! *starts eating snow* *doesn’t look but accidentaly eats yellow snow* Hmmm interesting….*eats more* Ok now to get down…*looks over cliff* Hmmm, it’s a long way down, *trips and falls and rolls down and down*

Eagle: *stops Gandalf from rolling down and looks at him* Hmm *pushes Gandalf off again who rolls down farther*

Gandalf: OW!! OH!! AH!! EE!! *finally stops* I think my leg is broken…*tries to get up* OWWW, my leg is broken…

Gandalf: So is my other one. Hmmm… *starts crawling like a baby*

Old Lady: A BABY!!! *picks up Gandalf and puts a bottle in his mouth*

Gandalf: *tries to struggle but decides to go along with it* ummmm Goo Goo Gaa!!

Old Lady: HE’S TALKING TO ME!!!

Gandalf: MOMMY!!

Old Lady: Yes!

Gandalf: DADDY!?

Old Lady: No, you never knew your father.

Gandalf: *starts crying*

She walks away with him…..

Over to the three hunters…

They ran for a while when Legolas saw something….

Legolas: *thinks to self* Hmmm the others are way behind…. ok I’ll see what it is…*walks over to a strange machine* Hmmm what is this…

Machine: Your future told here.

Legolas: *stands on it and puts a dime in*

Machine: You weigh 121 pounds

Legolas: *hits machine*

Machine: 90 pounds…………you are very gullable and don’t spend your money wisely….

Legolas: *strarts walking away*

Machine: But you are close to a reward- *turns off*

Legolas: *walks back and sticks dime in*

Machine: Thanks, you are close to a reward if you don’t waste your money on me.

Legolas: *kicks machine and walks away*

He starts running after the uruk-hai when he meets up with the others and starts talking…

Legolas: Aragorn, can we rest here?

Aragorn: No, we have to hurry.

Legolas: But I’m hungry.

Aragorn: Fine, we will wait for Gimli too.

Legolas: *starts eating lembas*

Gimli: *comes running up from behind* *drops axe on Legolas’s lembas and smushes it*

Legolas: Gimli, it isn’t like you to destroy food.

Gimli: *goes and sits down*

Aragorn: Can we go now Legolas?

Legolas: I guess so-…….EEEEEEK!!!!!!

Aragorn: What is it? *jumps up with sword in hand*

Legolas: A mouse!!!!!

Gimli: Oh brother, let’s go already.

Legolas: AHHHHHHH!!!!

Aragorn: Come on it is only a mouse.

Legolas: No I lost my nail file!!! Not my only one….*get’s on hands and knees and starts looking* wait this will make me need one more…*stands up* hmmm….oh yes….*pulls out map* ok….Gimli go over and lift up that rock and pick up what is under it.

Gimli: *goes and picks up rock and picks up hair dryer*

Legolas: No, wait that isn’t my nail file….what about in that bush…no lip gloss…..wait…*walks over to tree stump and taps three times and nail file falls out of it* We can go now.

Aragorn and Gimli were very shocked but they headed on…

Legolas: *runs ahead of Aragorn and sits down on rock doing nails*

Aragorn: *finally catches up and yells at Legolas* Come on!

Legolas: One minute…*is fanning nails*

Gimli: *finally catches up too*

Aragorn: *gets idea*If you run they will dry faster!

Legolas: They would smear.

Aragorn: *gets better idea* Legolas! *gasp* Is that….is that….a zit!!! *runs to Legolas*

Legolas: NO! NO! you can’t see my face!! *runs as fast as he ever has before*

Aragorn: That worked, let’s go Gimli.

Legolas: *way ahead of them* *pulls out mirror*…..where are you my ugly…….*looks deeply into mirror* I know! *puts make up on whole face*

The next day….

Legolas: *wakes up* *looks in mirror to fix hair*………*GASP!!!* ……MY FACE! MY BEAUTIFUL FACE!!! *Legolas’s face had turned a deep red*

Aragorn: *wakes up from Legolas’s scream* What is wrong!

Legolas: NO!! YOU CAN’T LOOK AT ME! MY FACE IS HIDEOUS!! *turns head and runs off* *while running he notices the make up he put on his face made it turn red*

Aragorn: Wake up Gimli! We have to hurry!

Gimli: *wakes up sleepily* Fine ok.

They finally caught up to Legolas who was pouring Strawberry Scented Bubble Bath Soap all over his face, now his supplies are running low…

Gimli: *still a little sleepy* What are you doing Legolas?

Legolas: DO NOT LOOK AT ME AND I WILL TELL YOU!

Aragorn: Ok, ok.

Legolas: Well I *murmurs something that could not be heard*

Gimli: What was that?

Legolas: Well my face…it well….it is kinda…different…

Aragorn: Don’t tell me you got a zit?

Legolas: Well not exactly…

Just then out of the corner of Legolas’s eye he noticed some riders and smoke far behind them…

Legolas: *thinks to self* Uh-oh how will I fix my face…

Aragorn: Well?

Legolas: Look over there! *points to riders*

Aragorn: Who are they?

Gimli: I don’t know.

Legolas: *sneaks out of their site and finds a small brook and bathes in water*

Aragorn: Where is Legolas?

Gimli: I guess his face was really bothering him.

Legolas: *is bathing in water and notices something small and blue floating by* *picks it up and it is a bottle of Blueberry Bubble Bath Soap* *gasp*I would never leave Strawberries!!!*puts in bag just in case….* *notices two small white bottles float by* *GASP* Two bottles of bleach! *opens one which is empty with a note in it*

The note reads…These are the last two bottles of bleach in the world, use wisely Gandalf, P.S. I used one to change white.

*opens other bottle which is suprisingly full* Use wisely……*pours bleach all over face and it miraculously it turns back to normal* That is the last time I use the off brand of make up…*throws in river* *starts walking away but could not bear parting with his make up* *dives back into river and grabs make up bottle* Ok I guess I will keep it… *goes back to Aragorn and Gimli*

Gimli: Where were you?

Legolas: Oh nowhere…

Aragorn: What was wrong with your face?

Legolas: *thought it was a good idea to not tell anyone….ever* Oh I was just….

But before he could finish the riders had gotten really close so Legolas shouted and they hid behind a rock……

After the riders pass Aragorn realizes they are from Rohan and calls to them, they turn around and surround them….

Eomer: What brings an elf, man, and a wee little man to Rohan?

Gimli: I resent that….

Aragorn: We have come looking for our friends who are wee men also.

Gimli: *glares at Aragorn*

Eomer: We killed everything and burned them over there. *points to mountains*

Soldier: Sir, it is that way….*directs him to smoke* you really shouldn’t leave without your glasses…

Eomer: Oh right…*puts on glasses which make him look very hilarious*

Aragorn: *whispers try not to laugh*

Legolas: *bursts out laughing so hard* HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Eomer: What are you laughing at?

Legolas: I HAHAHA am HAHAHA laughing HAHAHA at HAHAHAHA YOU!!!!!

Aragorn: I told you not to laugh.

Legolas: But look at him!

The riders start to ride off very annoyed but Aragorn shouts to them…

Aragorn: Can I borrow those two horses?

Eomer: Why not?

He gives them the horses and they leave then Aragorn and they rest for the night when Legolas does something….

Legolas: *turning from side to side trying to find a comfortable spot when he feels something in his pocket* What is this? *pulls out Balin’s Diary* Hmmmmmmm……opens and reads….

Balin’s Diary

Day 1: I was so bored so I went to the Gap of Rohan and bought a very stylish diary! Go me!

Day 2: Decided to throw party! Everyone is invited! Except the Balrog.

Day 3: Everyone has arrived! Started out party when Durin did a belly dance! He is very good at it! Then Fili arrived. He said he fashionably late. Yeah right! How do you be fashionably late when your outfit is 500 years old! EWWW!!!

Day 4: Party over, guests make me pick up debris….errr….on pro side I bought a new outfit! It is a pair of leather pants

Legolas: What style!

Day 5: Elrond threw slumber party….I was not invited…Gloin was though….I hate him and anyone who is his son….

Day 30: I lost my precious diary! suspect Balrog stole…better be on the look out…

Day 32: Got strange note that read..

Dear to whom it may concern, You are coordinately invited to a Pervy Hobbit Fancier Party.

Location: In small, damp, creepy cave near Mount Doom
Date: September 13
What to bring: Any rings that an older generation might have given to you that may have special powers to an extent

What does he think that I am an idiot! Of course he is trying to steal….MY LEATHER PANTS!!

Day 34: On way to travel to the Pervy Hobbits Fancier’s Party, the directions were horrible…

Day 35: Lost somewhere near Mount Doom…. what is this! I found a bottle of Strawberry Scented Bubble Bath Soap! Limited Edition too!!

Legolas: *gasp* So that is where I put it! Make note to self….return to Moria and locate Bubble Bath soap if I survive…..or in my next life….

Day 36: Found many small caves but none seem to fit the description, I have found big, dry, creepy, small, damp, but none in a combination of small, damp, and creepy…must keep looking.

Day 37: Have found strange creature crawling ahead of me muttering precious and decided to trail him

Day 38: Strange creature has lead me to cave fitting the description! Before I went in I noticed my shoe was united so I tied it. Then when strange creature went in a dark figure grabbed him and ran through a back path, I ran so my leather pants would not get stolen

Day 39: Have run so much pants do not fit so tightly anymore, make note to self to buy new ones.

Day 40: Stopped at Gap of Rohan and bought new snugglier leather pants! Pack is too heavy, I have already thrown away what is not needed so I only have my old leather pants, some food, my axe, and the bubble bath soap, am suspecting I don’t need all my stuff but I will go on.

Day 41: Fangorn is behind me, pack so heavy I decided to dig a hole and put soap and leather pants into hole, hole is right by a rock and a tree stump

Legolas: *jumps up from where he is sitting and looks around* Hmmm….tree stump…and rock…There! *right where Gimli is laying is right where he buried his pants and soap* Outta my way! *shoves Gimli* *starts digging with bare hands* *pulls up a dirty yet pinkish bottle of bubble bath soap and some leather pants* YES!!! WHOOPEEE!!!! *rips off pants and puts on leather pants* Snug as a rug!!

Gimli: What is all the commotion!

Aragorn: Yeah!?

Legolas: I found leather pants and more strawberry scented bubble bath soap!!

Gimli: Found them?

Legolas: Yeah, they were right where you were lying. *points to mile deep hole*

Aragorn: YOU DUG ALL OF THAT!?

Legolas: Of course not! I payed more dwarves!

Gimli: That is like saying we drawves are idiots!

Legolas: Take these coins and go away.

Gimli: *grabs coins and walks away*

After that they go back to sleep….

A few days beforehand with Merry and Pippin…

Merry: *being carried by orcs* WEEEE fun piggyback ride!

Pippin: MAN! I am missing the big game!

Merry: Which big game?

Pippin: *gasp* YOU DON’T KNOW! It is going to be the best game! The Iron Mountain Manicurists Versus The Mirkwood Strawberry Shampoo Obsessors.

Merry: Does that have anything to do with Legolas?

Pippin: *sarcastic voice* No…OF COURSE he begged his dad to make it!

Orc: I want to see that game too!

Pippin: REALLY! FINALLY SOMEONE TO TALK WITH ABOUT SPORTS!

The orc got killed for talking to Pippin about sports…

Pippin: Great…

Merry: Yeah I thought so too.

Pippin: Idiot…

The orcs carry them then make them run…

Pippin: This reminds me of the Elf Triathlon!!

Merry: Elf Triathlon…is that elves running?

Pippin: *runs faster*

Merry: Hey wait up! *trips and orcs trample on him* OWW….heeeey…ooo…ahhhh…a little higher…

The next day…

Pippin: So what’s for breakfast?

Orc: *shoves dark liquid into Pippin’s and Merry’s mouth*

Merry: This seems familiar….

Pippin: Familiar!?!?

Merry: I’ve had it before.

The orcs get them up and they run…

Pippin: I think I will practice my dance…*strarts doing ballet when other orcs join in*

Merry: *in tutu* Catch me! *jumps into air and falls on face*

Orc Leader: *orders all the orcs who danced with the hobbits to be killed*

the next day is basically boring so the day after that…..

Pippin: I am starting to get tired of running….hmmm….Hey Merry I will give you a coin if you carry me.

Merry: OK! *carries Pippin*

Pippin: *thinks to self* Good idea….

That night they are overcome with riders….

Orc Leader: WE ARE OVERCOME WITH RIDERS!!!!! *runs around frantically with the others*

Pippin: Let’s sneak away like we are in a sack race….do I have my lucky headband!?!? *pulls out pink headband with shampoo bottles on it* GO MIRKWOOD!!!

They crawl around and manage to make it to the forest when an orc follows them….

Orc: I am going to eat you!!!

Pippin: Then I won’t get to watch Dwarfball!!!

They run and climb a tree and the orc is killed….

Pippin: Let’s go and do backstroke up the river!

Merry: Nah…

Pippin: Then what do we do?

Merry: Let’s go climb a big rock and meet an ent and lead them to Saruman and destroy him and meet the riders and ride off…

Pippin: Merry??

Merry: *starts eating a rock*

Pippin: Idiot…

They walk to a big rock and climb it and turn around….

Merry: AHHH!!! I SHRUNK!!! DON’T HURT ME!!!

Pippin: It is a tree idiot…LET’S HAS A RACE TO THE TOP!!!

Treebeard: *talking very fast* Come on come on! I am Treebeard you are hobbits let’s go! I am in a hurry! *picks up hobbits and runs into the forest*

Merry: Where are we goin-

Treebeard: To my house.

Pippin: Where is tha-

Treebeard: Right here! *points to his house*

They enter his house and talk….

Treebeard: Ok we will sleep then we have to hurry again.

They sleep for what seems like only 5 minutes when Treebeard wakes them up…

Merry: Was that really the whole day?

Treebeard: Yes

Pippin: Then why is it dark?

Treebeard: uhhhh…Mordor sends out this darkness to confuse people…

Merry: Oh..

Treebeard: Come on, hurry up, we can’t be late!!!

Treebeard runs to a big meeting and they kick out the hobbits….

Pippin: This is just like when they picked me last for Dwarfball!! *starts crying from memory*

A few minutes later Treebeard comes back and speaks…

Treebeard: We have now confirmed you are not orcs, and are in fact hobbits.

Pippin: That’s it?

Merry: Sounds good to me

Treebeard: We have decided that we don’t get involved in the wars.

Pippin: But-

Treebeard: No buts, I will take you back.

He picks them up and starts running towards the exit

Pippin: Wait, take us to the south side.

Treebeard: Then we would go past Saruman.

Pippin: Exactly, he wouldn’t be expecting us!

Treebeard: Oh well…

He runs to the south side and stop…

Treebeard: Many of my friends live here- *notices the trees are all burnt up* SARUMAN!!!!! THERE ARE NO CURSES IN ELVISH, ENTISH, OR COMMON TONGUE THAT COULD CURSE HIM RIGHT NOW, but I can think of a few… *makes a strange calling sound*

Merry: What’s going on….

Pippin: LOOK! *points towards ents coming out of the trees* Let’s get ready! *puts on pink shampoo bottles headband with Go Mirkwood! on it*

Merry: Yeah! *puts on tutu*

Pippin: uhhh…Merry?….nevermind

The ents all come very slowly and they get impatient…

Treebeard: Hurry up!!!! *runs back to them and caries them closer* This will take to long….I got it! *hands them all Frappucinos*

Quickbeam: WOAH! I feel reenergize! *runs to Treebeard*

They all run angrily to Saruman…

Over to the three hunters…

When they get up they run to the dead, burning pile of orc bodies…

Gimli: Ok let’s starts searching…*picks at bodies with axe*

Legolas: I am not going near those bodies!!!

Aragorn: We will never know if the hobbits are there in not if we don’t!

Legolas: It isn’t worth the risk of getting my face smokey or my hands grimy.

Aragorn: Wait….PHILLIP!!!!!!!! *dives into pile of dead bodies*

Legolas: *gasp* Do you know what that does to your skin!?!?!?

Aragorn: PHILLIP!!! *dives so far down you can’t see him anymore*

Five hours later…..

Aragorn: *pops up with a dirty yet shiny penny in hand* I have PHILLIP!

Legolas: *GASP* WHAT IS THAT! *points to orc hand hanging in Aragorn’s hair*

Aragorn: *pulls hand out*

Legolas: *strarts crying* I am sorry but….no make up on the face of this earth can help you now, make sure you stay at least 20 feet from me at all times too.

Gimli: Let’s go.

Aragorn: Wait…..I see tracks….hmmm….they went over here… and… is that a chocolate coated chocolate ball wrapper! Hmmm *picks up wrapper*

Legolas: CHOCOLATE! I have a soft spot for it… gimme that! *grabs wrapper and starts to lick it*

They decided to walk into the forest but Gimli was lagging behind and notices a red-haired boy with a small owl buzzing around him…

Boy: Pig don’t go near that gnome!

Gimli: *grabs owl and runs* Yes I got one!!

Boy: Oh no you don’t! *picks up Gimli and swings him round and round on his beard and throws him like he was degnoming at his house* That takes care of that bloody gnome.

Gimli walks back to the group very dizzily and can’t seem to find his way back to that boy but he decided to go on anyway…

They walk into the forest…..

Legolas: This forest is old….it makes me feel young again….

Gimli: You must be old then.

Legolas: It is NONE of your business how old I am, and you will never find out that I weigh 121 pounds….I mean…90 pounds.

Gimli: YOU WEIGH 121 POUNDS!!!!!!

Legolas: No I mean……*blushes* I meant to say 90.

Aragorn and Gimli: *chanting* 121, 121, 121, 121!!!!!!!!!

Legolas: NINETY!!!!!!!!

Just then a white light flashes and a wizard appears….

Gimli: Let’s be idiots and throw stuff at it!

Legolas: ok!

They try to attack but miss….

Gandalf: *a bright light flashes from his staff* OWWW the light it burns!!! *falls to ground* I CAN’T SEE!!!

Legolas: Mithrandir!!

Aragorn: Reveal yourself to me or suffer my curse!

Gandalf: *sighs* I am the brilliant Gandalf!

A few people snort in laughter….

Gandalf: Let’s ride to Rohan! *raises arm very high and accidentally shoots a tree branch, which falls on Gimli* Oops…

Gimli: OWWW!! That reminds me of when my father got hit on the head.

Gandalf: Father!?!? *remembers old lady* FATHER!!! *runs off*

They run after him….

Gimli: Wait up!!

Boy: *flying on broom* There he is!! DIVE DIVE DIVE!!!

The boy and girl dive down to attack….

Girl: I have his beard!! *raises him off the ground*

Gimli: OWWW MY BEARD!!!

Girl: *drops him*

Gimli: *falling * OW!!! AHHH!!!

Boy: *jumps off broom and onto girl’s broom and the broom he jumped off slams into Gimli who goes flying into a rock* GO GO GO!!!

They fly off…

Gimli: I can’t feel my legs…

Gandalf: You know I had that same problem, but what I did was you twist it that way!!!

SNAP!!

Gimli: OWWW!!!

Gandalf: Then you mix it in this boiling secret sauce… *shoves his legs into it*

Gimli: OWWW!!……………..Ooooo………….What is this exactly?

Gandalf: It is my secret sauce which is made up of…*whispers something into his ear*

Gimli: THAT ISN’T FOR SOAKING LEGS IN!!!

Gandalf: Then what’s it for?

Gimli: *grabs cauldron and drinks it*

Legolas: What is it?

Gimli: His pee, milk, and a football…

Legolas: *throws up and runs away*

Gimli: How did you know my secret drink for exercising!?

Gandalf: Hmmm *grabs it and starts drinking it also*

Gimli: HEY!! That’s mine!!

Gandalf: I made it….Wait I can make more!! *runs behind a bush with a football and a gallon of milk*

A strange sound is heard then he comes back…

Gandalf: *starts drinking it* This time I made smoothies!!! Legolas? Aragorn? Anyone?

Legolas: GROSS!!!! *runs 100 feet ahead*

They finish drinking and head on…

Legolas is way ahead and he gets bored…

Legolas: Hmmm…I love shampoo so much and yet I haven’t tried it… *grabs some and drinks a little* YUM!!! *drinks a whole case* Wait…*looks at side* Warning do not drink, Toxic….Oh well!! *starts choking*

Gandalf: *finally catches up* I know what to do!!! *shoves Legolas’s head in his secret sauce*

Legolas: *pulls his head out of it gagging* SICK!!! GROSS!!! *grabs all of his shampoo he can manage to find* Wait this calls for drastic measures…*pulls out Treasure Map*

After a few minutes….

Legolas: *walks to stump and hits it to the beat of the Barney tune and the stump pops up and is really an elevator* *goes in and goes down*

After 20 minutes…

DING

Legolas: Finally! I can’t breathe anymore! *the door opens to reveal a giant, I mean giant Beauty Parlor and on the other side a Beauty Shop* Thank goodness! *runs to counter*

Elf: Back again, the usual I suppose?

Legolas: This is a 798-5!

Elf: NOT A 798-5!!! *calls up Middle-Earth’s Special Services which have only been called for The first Dark Lord*

Instantly hundreds of Elves come down elevators, through windows, and every possible place possible

Elf 1: What is wrong!!!

Legolas: LOOK AND SMELL MY HAIR!!! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT’S ROLLING DOWN MY NECK!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELP!!!!!!!!!! *falls to ground*

Instantly the Elves grab him and take him to the Secret Underground Underground Beaty Parlor which is only for real emergencies….

Elf 2: HURRY!!!! I NEED BLUEBERRY SHAMPOO!!!

Legolas: *wakes up* Strawberry… *passes out again*

Elf 2: I MEAN STRAWBERRY!!!

Elf 3: WHERE IS THE PINK NAIL POLISH!!!…….NOT THAT ONE!!! THE HOTT PINK NOT HOT WITH ONE T!!!!

Elf 2: STRAWBERRY SHAMPOO!!!!

Elf 4: We are out!!

Legolas: *starts choking* *the little beepy thing stops and makes a long BEEEEEEEEEEP*

Elf 2: WE’RE LOSING HIM!!!

1 minute later….

Elf 5: FOUND SOME!!!

Legolas: *starts breathing and the little beepy thing starts up again*

Elf 3: NAIL POLISH HERE!!!

Elf 5: Here!!!

They paint his nails and lather his head….

Elf 4: Clothes….WOOL!!!

Legolas: *cough*no*cough*

Elf 4: Wait what about pleather!

Legolas: *cough*real*cough*

Elf 4: No wait I know…LEATHER!!!!

Elf 2: HIS HAIR STILL SMELLS!!!

Legolas: *his beepy thing goes slower*

Elf 2: This calls for………THE LASER HAIR!!!

A giant laser is brought in and it is aimed at Legolas’s head….

The laser starts charging up and it is very loud…..

ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Elf 2: IT’S ALIVE!!!!

Legolas: *wakes up and looks in mirror* MY HAIR!!!! IT IS SO BEAUTIFUL!!!!! OWWW I CAN’T SEE….TOO….BRIGHT!!!!

Elf 4: Here are your new clothes! *hands him clothes*

Legolas: Thank you! Thank you so much!!! I….*starts crying* I love you all!!! Thank you…thank you…*hugs everyone of them* I will give you all a tip!

They look eagerly at him….

Legolas: Hmmm tip…*looks around* *sees penny and gives it to them*

Elf 1: Thanks.

Elf 2: Don’t forget your complimentary 1 ton bag of hair, nail, and make up accessories!!! *hands him huge bag*

Legolas: Thank you!!

Legolas goes up to the Beauty shop and buys a few things…

Legolas: I need one of these, these, these, these and……..one…no four of those! *goes to counter* Just put it on Mirkwood Money!

Elf Clerk: Ok, and here you go! *hands him 2 ton bag of stuff*

Legolas eventually drags the stuff up to the elevator and barely, just barely makes it in and he goes up…

Legolas: I am back! *sees Gandalf and Aragorn sleeping and Gimli watching the big game on his “new” TV with a foam finger on his head*

Gimli: GO EAGLES!!!!

Legolas: I’m back! I bought you all stuff!!!

Everyone runs to him at the sound of bought you stuff….

Legolas: For Gimli…..this new foam finger, an entire team of dwarfball stuff, and a football signed by Mirkwood Shampoo Obssesors!!! Including me of course!

Gimli: Where are the other names?

Legolas: Right by the L in my name!

Gimli: Oh now I see them…sorta….

Legolas: For Gandalf I got you…..a Barney and Telutubbies Hit CD!!! The remix!!!

Gandalf: YES!!! *quickly grabs the CD and starts to look for his CD player but remembered he didn’t have one*

Legolas: And…a CD PLAYER!!

Gandalf: YES!! *grabs the CD player and plays his songs very loud*

Legolas: And for Aragorn I got… Neck and Elbows! For dandruff..

Aragorn: Thanks…I guess..

Legolas: *talks sadly* And this… *holds up monkey*

Aragorn: MONKEY!!! I’ll name you… Ali Baba!

Legolas: *rolls eyes*

Gandalf: *starts sniffing Legolas’s hair* Mmmmmmm….

Legolas: Gandalf, what are you doing?

Gandalf: Smelling your hair…. can I eat it! *starts to lick it*

Legolas: EWWW!!! *shoves him away* *pulls out a can and sprays it all on that one spot Gandalf licked* Don’t touch my hair *walks off*

They ride away and arrive in Rohan…

this is part one, two should be up soon… Tell me what you thought!