A Story of Randomness by Greenleaf_is_MINE
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this story (unfortunately) and I apologize if anyone doesn’t like the ways I portray the characters.
A/N: I’m really sorry it’s taking me so long to update. I’ve got a lot I’m doing right now (school, 2 jobs, etc.) so it might be a little while inbetween updates. But, I will update each chapter now, instead of waiting until I have the whole thing written to submit a new chapter. So, it shouldn’t take quite as long anymore.
A/N: Okay, this is my first fic, so don’t be too hard on me. Please review! Feel free to include HELPFUL criticism, suggestions, etc. (Actually please do include these.) Please refrain from using any profanity or obscenity in your reviews. Thanks.
A/N2: The first part may seem more like a serious action story, but it’ll get funnier later, when they all meet up.
Middle Earth: Outside the Mines of Moria
Frodo: It’s a riddle! Gandalf, what’s the Elvish word for friend?
Gandalf: Mellon.
(taken from “The Lord of the Rings: the Fellowship of the Ring”)
*The doors to the Mines creak open. The Fellowship enters the mines slowly, most of them afraid of what they will find. They are so preoccupied that they all fail to notice the eerie mist thickening in the doorway.*
A Long Time Ago in a Galaxy Far, Far Away
*Obi-Wan Kenobi and Qui-Gon Jinn are desperately fighting against Darth Maul on the catwalks in the infrastructure of Naboo’s palace. Darth Maul is good, perhaps better than the two of them combined. Suddenly, Darth Maul catches Obi-Wan off balance and knocks him off of the catwalk. This distraction allows Qui-Gon to kick Maul off as well. A strange fog begins to gather beneath the catwalks, a fog that Obi-Wan and Darth Maul are quickly nearing.*
Qui-Gon: What the–fog inside a palace!
*However, his confusion is quickly replaced by concern for his padawn, who is soon lost from sight in the mist, as is Darth Maul. Feeling a surge in Force, Qui-Gon jumps after the two, trusting the Force to let him land safely, even without being able to see anything in the murky fog.*
The Caribbean Sea: In a Lifeboat Heading Back to the Dauntless
Jack: They done what’s right by them. Can’t expect more than that. (taken from “Pirates of the Caribbean, the Curse of the Black Pearl”)
Will: Ummm, Jack, I don’t know if we’re going back to the Dauntless after all.
Jack: No, go on. There’s nowhere else to go anyway. I either starve, or I hang. At least hanging is bloody well faster.
Will: That wasn’t what I meant. I know it’s the only thing we can do, but… this fog… I can’t see two feet in front of me. I can’t tell where I am.
Jack: *Really looks around for the first time* Well when did this bloody fog come up? It was clear a few seconds ago!
Elizabeth: Just now, when Will said we can’t go back to the Dauntless.
Jack: First I lose my ship, now bloody Will loses his ship, what’s next? We lose the boat?
*Suddenly, the boat shudders as if it hit a rock. All three passengers are thrown out.*
The Fellowship
Gimli: Soon, Master Elf, you will enjoy the fabled hospitality of the dwarves… (taken from “The Lord of the Rings: the Fellowship of the Ring”)
Legolas: *Does his best to ignore the dwarf while looking around with confusion. There shouldn’t be any fog in this cave!
Aragorn: Uh, Gimli?
Gimli: …My cousin, Balin…
Aragorn: Gimli?
Gimli: …and I haven’t seen him in years, but-
Aragorn: GIMLI!!!
Gimli: You don’t have to shout, laddie. I have the ears of a fox, you know.
*He turns back to Legolas, not realizing that the elf’s look of amazement is directed towards his surroundings–not towards Gimli’s narrative.*
Gimli: Yes, Balin was rather amazing, wasn’t he? Now, as I was saying-
Aragorn: Before you continue saying, why don’t you take a look around?
*Gimli looks around, notices what everybody else has already realized, and stares in shock.*
Gimli: What happened to the Mines?
Pippin: Well, Gandalf lit up his staff, and we all saw the fog, and then we all kept walking, and then the fog went away, and then we were here in this big open rocky area, and-
Gimli: But… what happened?
Gandalf: That’s what we’d all like to know.
Legolas: Look! The fog.
*The fog begins to appear about twenty feet in front of them, hovering about ten feet off the ground. Suddenly, a figure falls out of the fog, twisting to land on his feet just before he hits the ground.*
Legolas: *quietly, to Aragorn* He has the grace and agility of the elves, yet he is a man!
*further speculations are cut short as another figure hurtles out of the fog. Obi-Wan raises his lightsaber as the figure streaks towards him, then relaxes as he sees who it is.*
Qui-Gon: Where is the Sith, Obi-Wan?
Obi-Wan: *deactivates his lightsaber* I’m not sure, Master. I thought he would land right after me, but… actually I’m not even sure where we are.
Qui-Gon: I don’t know Obi-Wan, but the Force led me to jump after you, so we must somehow been teleported by the Force. Perhaps they know where we are.
Obi-Wan: *turns around to look at the Fellowship, startled.*
Qui-Gon: Be mindful of the Force. Had you been listening, you would have felt them there.
Obi-Wan: Yes, Master.
Pippin: Hello! Who are you? What were those glowing sticks? Where did you come from? Do you know where we are?
Qui-Gon: You mean you don’t?
Aragorn: No, we arrived out of a fog, much the way you did. It seems that something strange is at work here.
*A thump makes them all look to their left where a capsized boat has inexplicably appeared, along with three people who are picking themselves up off the ground.*
Jack: Where did all the bloody water go?
*The three new arrivals suddenly notice they aren’t alone*
Jack: What in the name of…
*He stops suddenly as everyone (including himself and Elizabeth) looks at Legolas, back to Will, then at Legolas again, then back to Will.*
Will: What? *catches sight of Legolas, who is staring at him in astonishment.*
Jack: (at same time as Pippin speaks) Will, why didn’t you bloody tell me you had a twin?
Pippin: (at same time as Jack spoke) Legolas! There’s two of you!
*Both Legolas and Will jump.*
Legolas and Will: Okay…. this is a little freaky.
Me: Alright, alright. This is fun and all, but you’re all here now, so time to get down to business.
Merry: Where’s that voice coming from?
Me: Right here, where’d you think?
Qui-Gon: Alright then, who are you?
Me: The author.
*Legolas and Aragorn give each other panicked looks*
Legolas: Oh no.
Aragorn: It can’t be!
Legolas: I think it is.
Aragorn: We seem to be in the Middle of another…
Legolas and Aragorn: FANFIC.
*Everyone gives strangles gasps of horror.*
Legolas: I almost always get turned into a prissy, snobby, idiotic, girly, sorry excuse for an elf!
Aragorn: And authors often make me an egotistical jerk! I don’t want to be king!
Qui-Gon: Who knows what terrors are now in store for us!
Me: IF you are all quite done now…
Gandalf: Alright, let’s get to the point. What is this one about, and can we get it over with?
Me: That’s what you have to find out.
Frodo: *hopefully* So…. you’re not going to do anything to us?
Me: Well, maybe…. hmmmm….
Boromir: *glaring in the general direction of my voice* Ah, come on, let’s just find a away out of here. She’s not going to do anything.
Me: Oh really? Just for that… *snaps fingers*
Legolas: *gives strangled gasp as he finds himself leaning against a motorcycle wearing black leather and sunglasses* What new devilry is this?
Boromir: Hey! That’s my line! *claps hands over his mouth as his voice comes out very high and squeaky*
Gimli: Noooooooooooooooooo! Not my beard! Where is it? What did you do with it?!
Gandalf: This is outrageous! I am Gandalf the Grey, not Gandalf the Pink!
Pippin: Merry, my feet are big.
Merry: All hobbits have big feet.
Pippin: But…
Merry: Pippin! I have my own problems. REAL ones! *Merry is frantically trying to stop shrinking, to no avail. He finally stops when he is 6 inches tall.* Ahhh! Don’t step on me!
Pippin: Sorry, but my feet are too big! It’s hard to walk right! *Trips over his feet, which are now literally as big as he is, missing Merry by an inch*
Frodo: It’s gone!
Sam: What is, Mr. Frodo?
Frodo: the one ring!
Sam: Actually, Mr. Frodo, it seems to have been turned into a belt. You’re wearing it.
Gandalf: *distracted from his absurdly colored robes* I can see the fiery letters! It says….
Sam and Frodo: What?
Gandalf: Can I have some pizza….
Sam: Well, I think I can arrange that, seein’ as how I’ve been turned into a pizza delivery boy.
Aragorn: Well, at least I seem to be okay….
Everyone else: *laughs*
Aragorn: What?
Everyone else: *laughs harder*
Aragorn: *finally notices the flashing neon lettering on his chest reading, “Yes I do want to be king!”* No! No I don’t! Take it off!
Jack: Where’s my pistol! It’s gone! And my hat! Give them back to me you bloody writer!
Me: Watch it or I’ll do something worse to you.
Elizabeth: Like, I seem okay. Okay, like, O my god, why am I talking like this? Ewww, it is, like, so totally annoying, but I like, can’t stop. Girl, will you, like, stop making me do this? It, like, totally sucks.
Will: Okay, I’ve decided that not all pirates are terrible evil people, but I don’t want to BE a pirate!
Me: Tough. Personally, I think the hat and the eye patch look rather dashing.
Obi-Wan: Master! You ‘re wearing a Padawan braid!
Qui-Gon: *reaches up to touch his hair, and finds it cut short except for a long, thin braid hanging over his right shoulder.* Yes, it would appear that the author has made me a Padawan learner again.
Obi-Wan: I appear to be the only one unaffected. I wonder why?
Me: laughing…too…hard…can’t…breathe…. *I get control of myself.* Muahahahahahaha. Don’t be so sure, Obi-Wan. *goes into another giggle fit over everyone else’s changes* must… come…back…later…for…next…chapter….
What will happen next? What is the point/plot of this story? What happened to Obi-Wan? Find out in the next chapter!
(Okay that sounded really corny, but please review and tell me what you think, give suggestions, etc. And don’t worry, the next chapter should be better. This one was more of an introduction.)
A/N: Okay, I’m REALLY sorry it’s taking me so long to update. I’m still trying to figure out how to add another chapter, and what the details of my next chapter will be.
82 Comments
Like your opening. Torturing your characters? Well you are doing a good job of it. Cool.
Excellent! I think Gandalf an d Qui gon jin need to battle it out
LOL, that was funny. I did like it. Very imaginative. I really have no critisism, helpful or no.
This was good. I really like it (especially since it’s so random). Your a good writer. Keep on writing. I’m anxious to see what happens next. *giggles*
The next chapter CAN’T be better, this one was awesome!!! My three favorite movies all in one! I really like the ‘author’s revenge’ you put in. Rock on!
It was great. Keep going!
This is great. I LOVE how you put Legolas AND Will Turner in it. This should be interesting. I can’t want until the next chapter.
Well ‘intermixed’ universes. i like the bit with will and Legolas.
Wow that was good for a first attempt at fanfic. I can’t really give any advice coz I don’t do fanfics but you should definatly continue with it.
hey, i think this is really good! ive been wanting to read a story of randomness containing all these characters. chopchop with the next chapter!
ok something constructive……more jokes?
Holy Valar!! that was funny!! keep writing!! i need a dose of randomness to keep me random!! Monkeys!
Wow! I agree with Alatariel…THREE OF MY FAVORITE MOVIES IN ONE!!! It’s great and, so far, pretty clean humor. I really appreciate that. Keep it coming!
I love it!! *giggle fit* Please write more! It hits me right in my little toe (that’s where the insane randomness gland is centered :P). So…. like I was saying…
It’s really funny! Keep on writing!
I like this story. It doesn’t do anything bad against the characters and it’s funny!! I love funny stories. Write more! I can’t wait! You’ve got a talent, dude… I mean dudette… I mean girl. Hee…
So far.. So Great.
It sound like its going to be a great story, but can you please add another chapter (or several)?
Just a quick note:
1) I am a TOTAL Legolas/Will/Orlando Fangirl.
2) I really LOVE Ewan McGregor, so please don’t screw him or Legolas and Will up too much, please.
Even if you do I’ll still read on. This fangirl atleast has a sence of humour, and can laugh at Orlando and his characters.
*chants* MORE CHAPTERS! MORE CHAPTERS!
Hi…I loved it! I really liked how you were creative(like making Gandalf into “Gandalf the Pink”). I like how you just had fun. The results were really awesome! Keep up the good work!
It’s coming along into a great story. Just please, oh please, oh PLEASE don’t do anything too OTT to Obi-Wan, Will and Legolas. They’re my faves. Can’t wait to see what you do to Jack! Loving the story, please write more chatpters soon!!
*Chants* MORE CHAPTERS! MORE CHAPTERS!
Yeah, I know this is my second review, but its an awesome into to a (hopefully) awesome story!!
Luvs!
Tari
LOL! Brilliant! And very random, which is great:D Can you please post the next chapter soon? *puppy eyes* I need something to keep me insane (exams are making me sane… eep!) *giggles* Gandalf the Pink! *rolls on the floor laughing*
Oh my gosh….that’s HILARIOUS!!!!!!!! “Yes. I want to be king.” No I don’t! Take it off!! – Aragorn
*lol* Craziness!! ๐ You’d better finish up with that second chapter or you’ll have to answer to me…. ๐
That was neat. I hope you can come up with the challenges. It gets hard to do. Good Luck.
It was hilarious. and I loved!!!! I’m waiting for the rest.(PLEASE HURRY!!!!!)
*lol* I love it! I love it even more than the last one!! ๐ Heheh….
Ya’ know, it would probably have been funnier if you made Aragorn go through the “showers of the doom” maze, but that’s just my opinion. ๐ Maybe you could send somebody else to withstand the torture of it….
Keep up the good work!!
What’s the “showers of doom maze”? Maybe I can use that idea later….
I am very much liking this. Please continue. Oh, and a suggestion of what to do to Elizabeth, throw her in with Gimli and have them pilot Naboo starfighters through the big droid control ship battle. That’s something I would very much like to see.
hello.
i have the basis of an idea for jacks task.
something can get in the way of him trying to get rum…?
not the most detailed of suggestions..but yeah.
there ya go.
Thank you both for your suggestions.
Calenia: Well, I’ve already got an idea for Jack, but, it’s actually very similar to what you suggested, lol. Hey, great minds think alike! ๐
Sylva_Knight: Sorry, I’ve already started writing Gimli and Elizabeth’s challenge, but that’s not a bad idea! Maybe I can use it or something similar to it later…..
ANyways, thanks again, and I hope you keep reading and enjoying!
-Greenleaf
Your story is really funny! Keep writing!!!
THIS IS SOOOO FUNNY! PELASE KEEP WRITING!!
*RotFL* This is great! I escecially love that you included Star wars in this!
WHAT HAPPENED TO OBI-WAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am SOOOOOOOOOOO sorry this is taking so long to update! My computer broke, so right now I’m at the library. I’m not sure how long it’ll be before i can actually start writing again. And don’t worry. In the next chapter I PROMISE I’ll let you know what happened to Obi-Wan.
That was great. I understand what you mean with setting it up and all. Idon’t have any suggestions, but keep coming with it!
Funny so far…poor Legolas, and everyone else for that matter, please have pity on them! And maybe you could drag Faramir in with them? just for kicks. he he he.
Great fic! Can you add to chapter 2? Cause I wanna see what happens! Really funny!
KOTD
This is a really good story so far, original idea (I think.) Even though there are so many characters, you do a good job of including them all when other authors would forget about one or two. I think you also did a good job with messing up all the characters, my favorite was GAndalf the Pink. ANyhow, I can’t wait till you have the next chapter!
That’s great. When’s the next chapter coming out? E-mail me at [email protected]
Nice ๐ btw, you are sooo evil. Nice choice with the Star Wars gang, too. they never get chosen for crossovers. I hope you update soon. keep up the good work
Very funny so far! I love how you brought all of those different characters together (especially Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan!). Personally, however, I think it would be better if you keep yourself out of it and let the characters interact with each other. This story is chock-full of possibilities… please make the most of it! (P.S. You might want to re-check for typos.)
Hey, I think your story is really funny!! Keep writing!!!
good intro! the whole will and legolas thing is particulraly funny. write more please
that is so funny! thanks for writing this. i do think that you should let jack finally get the bottle and it be empty! that would be funny. -eyowen the queen
Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease write more QUICKLY! I beg you! If I have to wait much longer I’ll… um… spontaneously combust!! Yesh! I will! You wouldn’t want to have that on your conscience now would you? WRITE 3RD CHAPTER!!…… please? ^_^
its ok… it still v. funny… keep up the writing! i cant wait to see how they get back… but then its too funny and im not sure if i *want* them to get back… oh well… its bound to happen.
Okay, never mind what I said in my last review. This is great! Also– *gasps* how COULD you do that to Obi-Wan?! It’s– it’s– it’s HILARIOUS!! *laughs* This should get veeeeeery interesting! ๐
hey, i have an idea. (ive never tried it but i think it would work) So… if its easier to write in script form, write in it to be comfortable, then convert it to … normaly form… Exp: Legolas: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh *runs away* <<< you writ that, then turn it into this>>> “ahhhhhhhhhhh” legolas scramed as he ran away… just an idea tryin to help ya! ~Nim
lol. very funny. Can’t wait for the next one. keep up the good work ๐ ๐
I love this story, it is hilarious! Although it is a shame that you can no longer write it in script form, I found it much easier to read it that way. The only problem I have with this story is that there is never any description given about the locations that the characters are in, which can be confusing.
Could you add Anakin from AOTC or ROTS into the story ( I am such a fangirl!)
Giggles* I can’t wait for the next chapter! Sam and Bugs are so funny:D Anf Figwit of course! Hehe…
very funny! i liked it better in script form to, but that would make it easier on the writer, would’nt it?! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. just kidding. just wanted to say i liked the way you wrote it! thanks-eyowen the queen. A/N i know, i did not spell eowyn wrong, i just made up the name. thanks
I love how you are writing this fic so far. I really enjoy reading it! Please continue to write more. My best friend really ejoys this story too.
YAY! you wrote the next part!!! MORE!!! i love it!!
for all that it is worth(my opinion) I thought it was good. I want to see the next chapters as soon as possible.
man, keep it up. I look forward to reading the next chapters!
ooh!! YAY! you wrote the next section!! *happy* i love it!!!
THANKS FOR ADDING THE ENDING PART! MORE FOR MY PLAY PLANS! THANKS!!!
This is my little sister she thinks its great… all the action and the suspence. please write more!!! that means in her terms : Write more or eoywen will not be around much longer. LOL!!! thanks!!!
Obi-Wan Kenobi a Sith Lord? I like that idea. More! More! Encore! Encore!
this fic is HILARIOUS!!! please write more!!!
yay!! you wrote more… i love it!! keep it up…
I’ve read it about twenty times now, and I still think it’s hilarious! Could you update soon? Pretty please?
thats pretty good! thanks! -sara
You know I can break force-fields.
WRITE MORE!!!
<3 it! ๐
*giggle* …. *chuckle* …. *laughs* …. *snorts with laughter* Very nice!!!
Would you PLEASE write more???? I LOVE It!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MinasElendil
That story is HILARIOUS!!! You _must_ update soon or Darth Sidious will eat you with ketchup!
Haha! That’s great! I love it… Keep writing more! <3 Me
i think this is one of the best fan fictions i have read yet. i cant wait until you finish it.
HALARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!…*going on forever* ilove it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ROFL!!! *gasp*can’t wait for *gasp* more it…*giggle* *takes deep breath* was…*burstes out laughing again*
I might just be going through a phase, but you should have added Indiana Jones with the parts with Sallah (played by John Rhys-Davies) and all his girlfriends, and the three of them always fighting. An added suggestion, make sure the readers dub the theme music into their imaginations and the characters in the story keep looking around and going, “What was that?!”
That might be funny. Overall, I like and wish that you would finish it.
Castamir
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE IT!!! oh please!oh please!oh please!oh please!oh please!oh please!oh please!oh please! WRITE MORE!!!
OMGSH!!! *dies* Must….have…Obi….Wan….noooooooooooowwwwwwww…………!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This. Is. Hilarious! Please say that you are still writing on it!!!
your cruelty is amazing. I love it. Plese hurry with the next chapters. No real suggestions here. I like it how it is.
Yaay, an update! This is really hilarious, continue writing!:D
Phew, about time! Very nice, but–how does the ring get a pizza?!
*Clap clap clap* Keep writing! I can’t wait for more! ๐
Very good. I like the way you tourture everybody. Question? I don’t wan’t to seem impetenet or any thing, i mean you are the author and everything(lol) But can more come soon? loved it!
My best friend introduced LotR to me early last year, and told me to read this story! Actually, I read it before I even saw or read LotR, so it was confusing, but now I love it, and I can’t wait for more! Please update! I’m on my knees begging you! ๐
I Love this story.It is so awesome.Please right the next chapter soon.GOOD JOB!
You’re story is extremly funny!! I love it and can’t wait until the next chapter! There will be another chapter, right? Please!