*Disclaimer: Morwen is an elvish name, probably from Lord of the Rings. I do not own the name but she is a random character from my world… … But I do not own anything else in this story… Actually it was a ninth grade assignment that I had to do. Anything underlined was something I would have to change from the original story. (Rapunzel) It is meant to be humorous, and not to be taken seriously… Oh and part of the assignment was to make it into a crossover fanfiction and my teacher approved of this…*

by Me, Merenwen_Silvan
Amend a Fairy Tale:
Rapunzel, I mean, Morwen

Once upon a time there lived a man and his wife who were sad because they had no children to play with their kittens. These good people had a ladder and a hidden door leading to their roof, which looked into the direction of a garden. However, the garden was surrounded by great mountains. No one dared to climb to the other side, for it belonged to Waffle, the dragon. (The dragon was a girl) Her wings were tornadoes, her claws and teeth swords, and her breath was fire (It smelled like tacos).

One day the woman stood on the roof looking into the direction of the garden. She dreamed she saw a bed of the reddest strawberries. In her mind’s eye, the leaves looked so fresh and green, she longed to digest them. The desire grew more second by second, and just because she knew she couldn’t possibly get any, she pined away and grew quite pale, and began to waste away. (That happens sometimes to elves, MUAHAHAHAHAH!) Her elven husband grew alarmed and asked:
“What ails you, my wife?”

“Oh,” she screeched, “If I don’t get some of those strawberries to digest, out of the garden behind the mountains I know I shall turn into a giant evil wolf and eat anything my path.”

The chibi who loved her dearly, talked to himself, “Come rather than let your wife, blah, blah, blah. Oh just get her those strawberries, even though evil chibis might attack.”

So at dawn he climbed the mountains into Waffles’ garden, and hastily gathered a galleon of strawberries, returning them to his wife. She made them into a cake which tasted so good her craving for them left, but she forgot to share them with her husband, So he became rabid. So the wife went to collect him some strawberries. However once she got there and started plucking, Waffle caught her.

“HOW DARE YOU,” screeched the dragon, “Climb over my mountains and steal my strawberries like a common thief? YOU SHALL NOT PASS, I mean, YOU SHALL SUFFER FOR TRYING TO TRANSMUTE GOLD, I mean, YOU SHALL SULFER, SUFFER, FOR YOUR STUPIDNESS!”

“Oh,” cried the woman, “Please forgive me, let my deed pass unnoticed, it shall never happen again.”

“Only on one condition, you must hand over your elven baby, and I shall not pass, I mean, I shall look after it as a Slave Master, MUAHAHAHAHAH!” (Cough, gag, choke)

“Oh, sure, like I’d do that.”

“If you refuse, I shall turn you and your family into the teletubbies!”

“Noooo! Fine I shall do what you ask.”

So when the elven child was born, the dragon took her and named her Morwen (It means dark lady).

Morwen was the tallest maiden under the moon. When she turned thirteen years of age the dragon sent her to lowest dungeon of her highest peak. (In the Misty Mountains, in Alaska). The mountain had no hand or foot holds to hold onto. Only at the very top was a little balcony. When the dragon wanted in, she flew level to the balcony, but she was too big to fit on it so she’d call out:

“Morwen, Morwen, play your silver flute!”

For Morwen had a ‘magic’ flute, and when played to a certain ‘tune’ it would make the balcony big enough for the dragon to land on it. So every time she heard the screech of the dragon she played her flute. Oh, her hair was long, and it was brown and metallic. (I like potatoes) (Cereal) (Si and I like potatoes)

After they had lived like this for a few thousand years (Morwen was an elf, meaning she only looked 18) (Muahaha *Gasp* *Ahaha* Gasp* ahah* gasp* ah…) Then it happened one day that Legolas Greenleaf was riding above the mountains on a giant eagle. (His name was Frank) As he flew near he heard a flute being played! (But not to the first song ‘I’ mentioned.) (YAY! I’ve been mentioned in the story! Woo whoo!) (Buuunnniess, yessss, precious) So he was spell bound, and longed to see her, and blah, blah, blah. He even wrote lyrics for it:

Oh the flute
it makes a better sound than a toot (A horn toot)
Oh were is its master?
If she’s ugly,
I bet I could run faster
(It sure would be ironic if that came to be.) (He meant well, he’s just not a good poet.)

And so he flew from his home to hers back and forth back and forth back and… One day when he was flying buy he saw Waffle the dragon. He wondered how the dragon would be able to stay level without resting. He then heard,

“Morwen, Morwen, play your silver flute.”

Legolas then heard the flute, and he saw the balcony open wide enough for Waffle to sit on it.

“So that’s how it works,” thought Legolas, “Then I will call out, too.”

So on the following day, at dawn he flew to the mountain and called,

“Morwen, Morwen, play your silver flute.”

Once again the music rang out and the balcony opened wide enough for Frank to sit on it.

At first Morwen was so surprised, for Legolas was so hot! For she had never seen Orlando Bloom dressed as an elf before; but he spoke like a blonde, and told her he’d marry her when she became ‘twenty’. Morwen then lost her fear and told him who she really was. He then told her, “Then what are we waiting for lets go!” But Morwen said that she didn’t know him very well. So they agreed he’d come back at dawn every day to learn about each other for one year, and then they’d marry.

So they met each other every day, but then Morwen asked a question(a stupid question) to Waffle,

“Why do you have a wacko name when the prince has a cool name?”

“What! You’ve been seeing him?” cried out Waffle. “That’s it, you’re grounded and now you have to go to boarding school.”

“Nooo!” cried Morwen, “Any place other than Bara-dur’s Boarding School for Girls, please.”

Waffle then snapped her flute in half, and sent Morwen away, and she left her in the dark wasteland of Mordor, letting her waste away in the darkness’s coming. (Mornie utulie)

But the next morning Legolas returned and called out,

“Morwen, Morwen play your silver flute.”

And when no sound came, Legolas made Frank stay in the air, Frank then began to get tired, he passed out from weariness, and fell to the ground. Since Legolas was an elf he survived. However when he fell, he lost his hair brush. Waffle flew down to him and teased him with her ringwraith voice, “Ah, ha, you thought to find your lady love, but the star has fallen and its light is gone; the darkness (Mornie) has veiled it, and it shall reveal your pimples and greasy hair. Morwen is gone for ever — you will never look ‘hot’ again. (Muahahahahah)

Legolas then killed the dragon, and went onto Google, to try and find Morwen. Alas he failed.

He then joined the fellowship of the Ring for a year. Then he heard (in Mordor) a flute being played.

“It can’t be!” thought he. He then found Morwen with her spare flute.

“Legolas!” called out Morwen when she saw him. However at that moment he covered his face and called out,

“No don’t look at me, I couldn’t find any acne medicine or a hair brush!”

“Oh,” said Morwen,” In that case I’ll marry Aragorn.”

“Ok.”

“I was joking.”

“Oh, Ok.”

Morwen then kissed him on the cheek (Face) and the pimples vanished. Legolas then took her to Mirkwood (his kingdom) where they married. Then XXIII years later on a warm sunny evening they sailed across the sea, never to be seen or thought of again.

Fin