Another A/N: Does anyone want to be my beta reader? YouÂ’ll get a preview of each chapter before everyone else. DonÂ’t read Lament of Arwen Evenstar. Please donÂ’t. Guess what? I canÂ’t even remember the characterÂ’s email addresses! I wrote the first chapter about 2 months ago! If you want me to do any other characterÂ’s inboxes just ask. That means ask in a review! (Hint, hint) I want 15 reviews. That means seven more people need to review. And flames DONÂ’T count. I know the message from Pippin is spelt wrong. IÂ’ve done that because I think Pippin is stupid. I like him but he is stupid. So is Merry, but Merry is smarter. And he can spell as you will see in chapter one. I hope PippinÂ’s email makes sense!

Thank you if you reviewed!

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

Why did you have to go to the Paths of the Dead? Please come back, darling Aragorn. A hobbit called Merry says hello. He asked me if I had been crying! Me? I never cry. I have got a nice necklace that I can give you. It is a gold heart and itÂ’s much prettier than the necklace that Arwen woman gave you. What is hers made out of? It looks like plastic! Mine is 20 carot gold! You know you want it. That Merry guy is trying to make me got off the internet so he can go on MSN and talk to his friend Pippin. He talks to him every five minutes, mainly about food!

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

Last night I fell asleep! Daddy put me on the boat but I woke up and started screaming. I bit him! There was blood everywhere. Elladan and Elrohir are fascinated by the internet. They are always looking at porn sites! Daddy found out and they are grounded! Poor them. Will you email the twins to cheer them up?
Love
Arwen

To: [email protected]
From: denethor-rox-4-eva@iÂ’mdasteward.middle.earth

Hy Aragon. Its Pipin. I is stayying wivh Denyfor. Hee is the stewyard of Gondore. He dosen’t kno I’m on the internett is he findes out he wil bee verry madd. Doo nott emayill bac coz hee wil finde out and get verry cros. Howe is Arewhen Undómeelle? I found owt howe too doo the marcs ontop ov letars. It is cooooooole. Àáâãäåç ooh that woz underneaff! Èéêëìíîïðñòóôõöøùúûüýþ. Hehehehehe. Thatt wozz funy wozzent it?
Lots of bugs
Pipppen

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

Welcome to Ranger Accounts. Thank you for setting up a new account. Your old account has been deleted. Thank you
Ranger Accounts.

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

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To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

Why do you always have such complicated email addresses? None of the other rangers do. CanÂ’t it just be [email protected] ? So you got a new email address because you had a stalker called Eowyn. Is she pretty, nice, intelligent and kind? If she is send me her email address and a photo!
Your Cousin
Halbarad

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

Darling I was trying to contact you for weeks but your old email address doesnÂ’t work! Then I found an email from you saying you had a new email address. I ignored it because it had an email address I didnÂ’t recognize so I thought it was junk mail.

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

Was Éowyn really stalking you? Oh shit! She just read this over my shoulder and she’s written down my email address.
Eomer

P.S. Does Arwen have any sisters? You havenÂ’t answered my question yet.

To: [email protected]
From [email protected]

So IÂ’m your stalker. I am not. Why did you even say that. I hate you.

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

Do you know any good porn sites? We need more porn. We can tell you some if you need more.

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

IÂ’m going to stay with Granny and Grandpa for a bit and I wonÂ’t be able to email you. IÂ’m making a special banner for you. ItÂ’s for the war. I hope you donÂ’t die. If we win remember to become king so we can get married.
With all the love that I possess
Arwen

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

What do you mean you donÂ’t like porn? I bet if Arwen posed for porn pictures you would like them!
Elladan and Elrohir

To: [email protected]
From: denethor-rox-4-eva@iÂ’mdasteward.middle.earth

Hi itÂ’s Pippin. One of the guards is writing this for me. His name is Beregond. You are a stupid bastard! You replied! Denethor- I mean Lord Denethor (he will get really cross if I call him Denethor not Lord Denethor) got really cross. Were you trying to get me in trouble? I bet you were. You hate me coz IÂ’m stupid.  Denethor says you smell and you canÂ’t be king.

Bye Bye
Peregrin Took (ThatÂ’s funny isnÂ’t it?! I called myself Peregrin! Hehehehe!)

That’s all folks! Until next time. Tata! Don’t forget to review! If you do I’ll be your friend. I’ll read your stories if you want. Just ask in your REVIEW!!! Sorry about the rude words. I know I used porn a lot but Elladan and Elrohir like it in this story and they haven’t got Legolas to annoy (read my story ‘Fate of the Evenstar’ it’s of ff.netto understand that properly) so they need something else to do.

Bye
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Ooh Pretty Pattern!!!

Lady of Imladris (otherwise known as the hyper person!)

DonÂ’t forget to review. Flames will be used to cook my food and light fires in my fire place and to burn my sister to death and to kill all the people who hate LOTR.