A/N: Guess whoÂ’s back? Back again. LexyÂ’s back! Tell a friend. Guess whoÂ’s back, guess whoÂ’s back, guess whoÂ’s back?! Lexy is me if you were wondering. Lexy is short for Loud Excited easily Xtremely Yellow. I couldnÂ’t think of anything beginning with y so I put yellow! Does anyone have a better idea? If you read this mention in your REVIEW (!) that you read it. I donÂ’t think anyone does. I havenÂ’t had any flames! Go me, itÂ’s my birthday, IÂ’m party like itÂ’s my birthday. No. It isnÂ’t my birthday! Do all you people think this is a flame: ‘Ok thenÂ’ from ER, Queen of Insanity? I didnÂ’t think it was but she didnÂ’t seem to like the story. I am preparing a speech it will be at the end! If you find these replies funny tell me. If you donÂ’t, tell me! Also did anyone understand the first email from Pippin? It took me a few minutes to work out what it said when I… I mean Aragorn wrote the reply. I have a beta reader! ArwenLegolas!

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

Why did you have to go to the Paths of the Dead? Please come back, darling Aragorn. A hobbit called Merry says hello. He asked me if I had been crying! Me? I never cry. I have got a nice necklace that I can give you. It is a gold heart and itÂ’s much prettier than the necklace that Arwen woman gave you. What is hers made out of? It looks like plastic! Mine is 20 carot gold! You know you want it. That Merry guy is trying to make me got off the internet so he can go on MSN and talk to his friend Pippin. He talks to him every five minutes, mainly about food!

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
I wanted to go to the paths of the dead. Say hi to Merry. Of course you werenÂ’t crying *cough lie cough*. I donÂ’t want your stupid necklace! Tell Merry to say hi to Pippin. Ask Eomer why he hasnÂ’t emailed me. Merry is a hobbit thatÂ’s why he likes food. You are THICK. Oh, I forgotÂ…Â…Â…. I HATE you.
Lord Aragorn

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

Last night I fell asleep! Daddy put me on the boat but I woke up and started screaming. I bit him! There was blood everywhere. Elladan and Elrohir are fascinated by the internet. They are always looking at porn sites! Daddy found out and they are grounded! Poor them. Will you email the twins to cheer them up?
Love
Arwen

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

Are you ok? Well done for biting Elrond. Did he go to hospital? Tell Elladan and Elrohir that porn sites are bad. I will email themÂ…when they email me. Say hi to Galadriel.
Aragorn

To: [email protected]
From: denethor-rox-4-eva@iÂ’mdasteward.middle.earth

Hy Aragon. Its Pipin. I is stayying wivh Denyfor. Hee is the stewyard of Gondore. He dosen’t kno I’m on the internett is he findes out he wil bee verry madd. Doo nott emayill bac coz hee wil finde out and get verry cros. Howe is Arewhen Undómeelle? I found owt howe too doo the marcs ontop ov letars. It is cooooooole. Àáâãäåç ooh that woz underneaff! Èéêëìíîïðñòóôõöøùúûüýþ. Hehehehehe. Thatt wozz funy wozzent it?
Lots of bugs
Pipppen

To: Denethor-rox-4-eva@iÂ’mdasteward.middle.earth
From: [email protected]

Next time get somebody else to type for you. It took me about 10 minutes to work out what that said and it was boring! I donÂ’t care if you know how to do marks on letters. Also learn to spell. IÂ’m gonna get you in trouble. You said not to email back coz Denethor will get cross. Tell him Thorongil says hi.
Strider
P.S. What do you mean ‘lots of bugs’? Did you mean hugs?

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

Welcome to Ranger Accounts. Thank you for setting up a new account. Your old account has been deleted. Thank you
Ranger Accounts.

To: [email protected]; [email protected]; [email protected]; [email protected]; [email protected]; [email protected]; [email protected]; [email protected]; [email protected]; Denethor-rox-4-eva@iÂ’mdasteward.middle.earth; [email protected]; [email protected];
From: [email protected]

Hi itÂ’s Aragorn. IÂ’ve got a new email coz this woman, Eowyn, was turning into my stalker.
Bye
Estel, Elessar, Elfstone, Aragorn, Thorongil, Strider, Wingfoot and many more names.

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

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To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

Why do you always have such complicated email addresses? None of the other rangers do. CanÂ’t it just be [email protected] ? So you got a new email address because you had a stalker called Eowyn. Is she pretty, nice, intelligent and kind? If she is send me her email address and a photo!
Your Cousin
Halbarad

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

At least I donÂ’t have a boring email addresses. I donÂ’t know if Eowyn is intelligent. She sort of pretty and quite nice. Her email address is [email protected]. I donÂ’t have any photos of her.
Aragorn

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

Darling I was trying to contact you for weeks but your old email address doesnÂ’t work! Then I found an email from you saying you had a new email address. I ignored it because it had an email address I didnÂ’t recognize so I thought it was junk mail.

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

I was wondering why you werenÂ’t emailing me. I donÂ’t mind.

Aragorn

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

Was Éowyn really stalking you? Oh shit! She just read this over my shoulder and she’s written down my email address.
Eomer

P.S. Does Arwen have any sisters? You havenÂ’t answered my question yet.

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

DonÂ’t swear! Because Legolas is reading this over my shoulder! Gimli keeps farting. Eowyn is nosy. IÂ’m going to ignore all the emails from her. Arwen doesnÂ’t have any sisters (A/N: Unless you read fate of the evenstar by me!)

To: [email protected]
From [email protected]

So IÂ’m your stalker. I am not. Why did you even say that? I hate you.

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

Do you know any good porn sites? We need more porn. We can tell you some if you need more.

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

I donÂ’t look at porn.

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

IÂ’m going to stay with Granny and Grandpa for a bit and I wonÂ’t be able to email you. IÂ’m making a special banner for you. ItÂ’s for the war. I hope you donÂ’t die. If we win remember to become king so we can get married.
With all the love that I possess
Arwen

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

Ok. Have fun. You donÂ’t need to make a bannerÂ….whatÂ’s it going to look like? When will I get it?

Aragorn

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

What do you mean you donÂ’t like porn? I bet if Arwen posed for porn pictures you would like them!
Elladan and Elrohir

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

I donÂ’t like porn. No, I wouldnÂ’t like it if Arwen posed for porn. I wouldnÂ’t mind if we were married and only I saw. IÂ’d like it if Galadriel did porn!
Aragorn

To: [email protected]
From: denethor-rox-4-eva@iÂ’mdasteward.middle.earth

Hi itÂ’s Pippin. One of the guards is writing this for me. His name is Beregond. You are a stupid bastard! You replied! Denethor- I mean Lord Denethor (he will get really cross if I call him Denethor not Lord Denethor) got really cross. Were you trying to get me in trouble? I bet you were. You hate me coz IÂ’m stupid.  Denethor says you smell and you canÂ’t be king.

Bye Bye
Peregrin Took (ThatÂ’s funny isnÂ’t it?! I called myself Peregrin! Hehehehe!)

To: Denethor-rox@iÂ’mdasteward.middle.earth
From: [email protected]

Yes! I got you in trouble! Haha! Tell Denethor I donÂ’t smell. I had a bath yesterday. I can be king.
Strider

A/N: Next chapter is gonna b xtra special. You request who is going to email Aragorn. You can do you! Just say what u want the email address (only if u do u) 2 b. If there is something u really want to say in your email to Aragorn ask in your review.

You can email Aragorn at [email protected] and ask a question. He will reply! Also email that email address if u want to be my beta reader.

Here is the speech I said I was going to do (ItÂ’s me winning an Oscar forÂ….. YouÂ’ll have to read to find out!

*sob* Thank you for giving me the award for being the loudest person in the world. *sob* IÂ’d like to thank Professor John Ronald Reul Tolkien for writing The Lord Of The Rings. Jane Austen *sob* for Pride and Prejudice and *sob* Joanne Kathleen Rowling for Harry Potter. You *sob* are all wonderful authors.
All the people who review my stories *sob, sniff, sob* it means a lot to me when you review. All those wonderful fanfic authors. Sob*
My friends Zoë, Laura, Kirsty, Vicky, Charlotte, Sam, Katie, Grace, Pippa, Millie, Elise *sob*, Alice, Mary Jeanette and all m other friends for not deserting me. Even when I’m hyper.
The wonderful people who sell sugar. The amazing, brilliant people who make Lucozade (that makes me hyper). *sob, turns to hide tears*
My family for NOT supporting my obsession with LOTR. My pets for being so cute. Especially my cat, Trixie Belle, I wish you were here with me. I miss you so much. (She isnÂ’t dead! SheÂ’s gone missing.)
And last my best friend, Cliona (Weo) for wait she never phones me, never writes to me and I do all the talking! Why the f*ck am I thanking her?!
Thank you so much. *runs off stage crying*