Well before you read any of them, I must say that they were not all mine. Some of them were made up by my good friend Nat. Thanks girl! Couldn’t have done this without ya. 🙂

Setting: Tower where Sauraman put gandalf
Gandalf: HHHHHELP!!!! (falls off the tower)
Hobbits: *he he ha ha hah!*
Moth: [tries to save gandalf]
THUNK!
Sauraman: Director! We need a new gandalf!

Continued…
The actors run to Gandalf and the moth and they scoop up the moth and leave gandalf.
Actors: Oh thank goodness he’s all right! I don’t know what we’d do without him!
Gandalf: Oh sure. No, I’m fine!

Setting:Evenstar
Arwen: Do you remember when we first met?
Aragorn: No

Setting: Evenstar
Arwen: Do you remember when we first met?
Aragorn: I thought I had strayed into a nightmare.

Setting: Evenstar
(Arwen is about to give Aragorn her necklace)
Aragorn: [opens his hand and there is the ring] PROPS! She gives me her necklace…not the ring of power!

Setting:Amon Hen
(Boromir has just tried to take the ring from Frodo. Frodo is now with Aragorn)
Aragorn: Frodo?
Frodo: Stay back!
Aragorn: I swore to protect you.
Frodo: Can you protect me from yourself? [frodo opens his hand and there is the ring]
Aragorn: [approaches frodo. He snatches the ring and runs]
Director/Peter Jackson: CUT! VIGGO! Come back here. I am beginning to think this ring does have strange powers.

Setting: Amon Hen
(Aragorn has just refused to take he ring)
Aragorn (tells frodo): Run…..RUN!
(He turns to face the group of orcs.)
Sound among the crowd of orcs: RING! RING!
Director/Peter Jackson: CUT! Billy…didn’t I ask all orcs to remove their cell phones before we started shooting?
Orc:Yeah…[answers phone] Yeah..um mom you caught me at a bad time. yeah call you back….i love you too. bye.

Setting: Moria
(Fellowship is fleeing the balroq)
Gandalf: YOU SHALL NOT PASS!
Balroq:Whoa! Back up! Contact! Lost my contact!

Setting: Bag End
Gandalf:[puts ring in the fire]
Frodo: What are you doing?
Gandalf: Hold out your hand, Frodo. It’s quite cool.
Frodo:[holds out his hand] OWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Setting: Tower in Mordor
Sauraman: You must join with them.
Gandalf: No
Sauraman:It is the only way.
Gandalf: And to think…(sniffles) i used to share my pb&j with you when were kids!(cries)

Setting: Entrance to the Sauraman’s Tower
Sauraman: The hour grows late and Gandalf the green….oops! I know, I know re-shoot.

Setting: Farmer Maggots Field
Sam: Mrs. Frodo?!
Frodo: [looks at sam oddly. then glares]
Sam:Whoops! Mr. Mr.! I meant MISTER!

Setting: Woods in the Shire
(Merry and Pippin are there)
Merry: That black rider was looking for someone…or something. Frodo?
(Black Rider emerges from the trees)
Frodo: [tosses ring to Merry] Yeah! YOU!

Setting: Woods in the shire
(Merry and Pippin are there)
Merry: That black rider was looking for someone…or something. Frodo?
Sam: Get down!
[the four hobbits duck]
Frodo: I must leave the shire. I need to get to Bree.
Merry: [nods and looks like he is thinking] Sorry, can’t help.

Setting: Amon Hen
(the orcs are invading)
Merry and Pippin are hiding in the bushes
Merry:Frodo, come here quick.
Frodo: [shakes head no]
Pippin:What is he doing?
Merry: He’s leaving. (says to Frodo) Go on, Frodo. go.
(Merry and Pippin emerge the bushes)
Merry yells to orcs:HEY! Hey you! Yeah you! He’s over there! [points to Frodo and runs]

Setting: Aragorn’s Room at the Prancing Pony Inn
Aragorn: Are you frightened?
Frodo: Of them…no. Of you…YES! [runs out of the room]

Setting:Moria
Gimli: And to think, they call this a mine. A MINE!
Boromir: This is no mine…it’s a slumber party!
[all the dwarves are in pretty pajama’s reading zines’ and playing party music. They are braiding their hair and beards and telling funny stories to each other.]

Setting: Council of Elrond
Aragorn: And you shall have my bow.
Legolas: No, my bow.
Aragorn: Mine!
Legolas: Well, I’m the archer.
Aragorn: I have a bow too!
Legolas: He shall have my bow!
Aragorn: Nan uhhhh!
Legolas: Uh huhhhh!
Elrond: Boys. He shall have my bow.
[Aragorn and Legolas look at Elrond oddly then they laugh under their breath]

Setting: Lothlorien
Galadriel:[telepathy talking to frodo] Do not fear. There is still hope for Gondor. You will find a way to make things right.
Frodo: huh?
Galadriel: (says telepathically) Oops! Sorry wrong person.

Setting: Helms Deep
Gimli: Toss me, but don’t tell the elf.
(Aragorn tosses Gimli OVER the bridge. Gimli lands on an orc and his ax kills it. he bellows:)
Gimli: 85!
Legolas: 180!

Setting: Bilbo’s Party
Hobbits: Speech! Speech!
(bilbo talks and talks)
Bilbo: I am sad to say this but….
(feels for the ring. He comes across a hole. the ring is gone)
Bilbo: This is the end. Goodbye. (sprints)

Behind the Scenes
~Interview with Peter Jackson~
Reporter: What was the hardest part of the entire movie? I imagine it was the special effects or computer generations, maybe even following the book as closely as possible or finding the perfect actors for the characters.

Peter Jackson: No, those were all hard, and so was making the props as realistic as possible…but I’d have to say the hardest part was working with Ian Holm, the actor for Bilbo Baggins. We loved him and thought “He’s the perfect person for the job” but he had Alzheimer’s. (has a sudden flashback of the scene where Gandalf and Bilbo are smoking right before the Long expected party: Take 1. “May this be a night in December.” Take 2. “Hey, is this a night to remember?” Take 502: “Let this be a fight to remember” ) Yeah…that was a long day.