Merry and Pippin crept slowly along the grassy slopes of Edoras being very careful not to be seen by anyone in the camp. They snuck over to where the elf Legolas was sleeping – silky, blonde hair cascading down over his face, his luminous blue eyes were open but he was in deep slumber.
The two hobbits became unnerved by his wide, open eyes.
” Er, Pip, do you think there’s something wrong with him?” asked Merry.
” He looks like a dead frog!”
” Do you think he’s dead, Pip?”
” Hello, Legolas?” whispered Pippin waving a hand over his face but no reply came, ” Are you dead?”
” Pippin! If he’s dead he’s not going to tell you is he? Do you think we should poke him in the eye or something?”
” No! That would spoil the plan!” rasped Peregrin.
” Okay, just get on with the plan we’ll deal with the bloody elf later.”
Merry and Pippin grasped hold of Legolas’ rucksack.
They tipped out the contents, racking through to find what they want. An aray of unusual items to take on an adventure with you fell around them.
” Who takes lipstick and a picture of themself with them?” said Merry in disgust
” I’ve found it Merry, Sunsilk frizz free shampoo.”
They emptied a pot of grass die into the bottle.
The duo began sniggering at their own joke. But Pippin started getting cold feet.
” Maybe we shouldn’t do it Merry! He is our friend after all.”
” Pippin, pippin, pippin, it is our duty to do it, I mean it has been calling us do it for so long and no one else is going to do it are they?”
” Gimli might do it.”
” Pippin, Gimli painted his arrows pink, don’t you remeber when he pulled one out and shot it at an orc, when the rancid thing fell it had a puffy pink arrow sticking out of him!”
” Oh, yeah, well I suppose as professional hobbits it is our duty. We should have ranks you know…..”
They replaced all of the beauty roducts in the sack and walked back to their sleeping patches.
” You should call me Captin Pippin and you could be Lieutenent Merry.”
” Pippin, lets not be silly, it should be Captin Merry and Dimleaf Pippin.”
” Hey dimleaf yourself, snot head!”
The two went back to their patches arguing through most of the night until they reached peaceful slumbers.

“Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!”
They were woken by a terrible scream.
” It’s Legolas, better be careful, orcs could be near.” said Aragorn.
” My sword isn’t blue though.” said Frodo.
” Frodo what’ve I told you, don’t interupt me!” cursed Aragorn. ” We must be ready.”
Legolas ran through the bushes like a well shot arrow flying true.
” What’s wrong?” Aragorn called to the far of figure of Legolas. He drew closer.
” Look at my lovely hair!” he yelled outraged.
Merry and Pippin couldn’t supress their laughter. Their sides were splitting at Legolas’ green barnet.
” You two, you’re the culprets!” he screamed outraged.
They saw the evil look in his eyes and dashed for it.
Legolas shouted curses at them running in their persuit. ” Idiots, logheads, sons of someone who doesn’t know what conditioner is! Evil, you are pure evil! I’ll kill you, mark me I will!”
The pair were scared out of their wits, their hairy feet padded along the ground and they were finding it hard to breath.
” Legolas, mate, we was helping you out, it’s camoflage so those orcs can’t see you so well.”
” Yeah you wouldn’t hurt us would you, would he Merry?”
Merry took a quick glimpse behind him.
” He would Pip! Run!”

Gandalf rubbed his eyes as he spoke to Aragorn, ” Fool of a Took and if ever I met a hobbit and trust me I’ve met a lot, Meriadoc would have to be the most stupid of the lot!”

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