Camoflage by Lady_CJ
Merry and Pippin crept slowly along the grassy slopes of Edoras being very careful not to be seen by anyone in the camp. They snuck over to where the elf Legolas was sleeping – silky, blonde hair cascading down over his face, his luminous blue eyes were open but he was in deep slumber.
The two hobbits became unnerved by his wide, open eyes.
” Er, Pip, do you think there’s something wrong with him?” asked Merry.
” He looks like a dead frog!”
” Do you think he’s dead, Pip?”
” Hello, Legolas?” whispered Pippin waving a hand over his face but no reply came, ” Are you dead?”
” Pippin! If he’s dead he’s not going to tell you is he? Do you think we should poke him in the eye or something?”
” No! That would spoil the plan!” rasped Peregrin.
” Okay, just get on with the plan we’ll deal with the bloody elf later.”
Merry and Pippin grasped hold of Legolas’ rucksack.
They tipped out the contents, racking through to find what they want. An aray of unusual items to take on an adventure with you fell around them.
” Who takes lipstick and a picture of themself with them?” said Merry in disgust
” I’ve found it Merry, Sunsilk frizz free shampoo.”
They emptied a pot of grass die into the bottle.
The duo began sniggering at their own joke. But Pippin started getting cold feet.
” Maybe we shouldn’t do it Merry! He is our friend after all.”
” Pippin, pippin, pippin, it is our duty to do it, I mean it has been calling us do it for so long and no one else is going to do it are they?”
” Gimli might do it.”
” Pippin, Gimli painted his arrows pink, don’t you remeber when he pulled one out and shot it at an orc, when the rancid thing fell it had a puffy pink arrow sticking out of him!”
” Oh, yeah, well I suppose as professional hobbits it is our duty. We should have ranks you know…..”
They replaced all of the beauty roducts in the sack and walked back to their sleeping patches.
” You should call me Captin Pippin and you could be Lieutenent Merry.”
” Pippin, lets not be silly, it should be Captin Merry and Dimleaf Pippin.”
” Hey dimleaf yourself, snot head!”
The two went back to their patches arguing through most of the night until they reached peaceful slumbers.
“Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!”
They were woken by a terrible scream.
” It’s Legolas, better be careful, orcs could be near.” said Aragorn.
” My sword isn’t blue though.” said Frodo.
” Frodo what’ve I told you, don’t interupt me!” cursed Aragorn. ” We must be ready.”
Legolas ran through the bushes like a well shot arrow flying true.
” What’s wrong?” Aragorn called to the far of figure of Legolas. He drew closer.
” Look at my lovely hair!” he yelled outraged.
Merry and Pippin couldn’t supress their laughter. Their sides were splitting at Legolas’ green barnet.
” You two, you’re the culprets!” he screamed outraged.
They saw the evil look in his eyes and dashed for it.
Legolas shouted curses at them running in their persuit. ” Idiots, logheads, sons of someone who doesn’t know what conditioner is! Evil, you are pure evil! I’ll kill you, mark me I will!”
The pair were scared out of their wits, their hairy feet padded along the ground and they were finding it hard to breath.
” Legolas, mate, we was helping you out, it’s camoflage so those orcs can’t see you so well.”
” Yeah you wouldn’t hurt us would you, would he Merry?”
Merry took a quick glimpse behind him.
” He would Pip! Run!”
Gandalf rubbed his eyes as he spoke to Aragorn, ” Fool of a Took and if ever I met a hobbit and trust me I’ve met a lot, Meriadoc would have to be the most stupid of the lot!”
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32 Comments
*snigger*It’s interesting imagining him like that!
it was GREAT i loved it write more!
That was hilarious!!!! Please write some more!
-falls over laughing- That is so funny! You must wright more like that! -hoots with laugher now- Can’t-stop-laughing!
This story made me giggle. Please write more.
oh my that was funny!
that whole ‘elvish salad’ thing, I’m still laughing!
Hey, could you have Merry& Pippin do sometihng to Aragorn’s hair.(like wash it!)
i think it is a good comedy, wery funny that you used lines from the movies.it is so typical merry and pippin to play that trick at legolas.also funny that frodo is nagging aboute his sword all the time.
keep up the good work
Very well done! The third chapter was total chaos (You did a great job of portraying the chaos as well). You did an excellent job of writing all of it. You have tactfully used the movie quotes as well. Loved that you had Boromir come back and have everyone exclaim that he was dead. Frodo and the sword is a wonderful touch. Keep up the good work!
This is so terribly rediculous I’m rolling on the floor laughing! I love it! VERY funny! I love it! Keep up the good work!
not as funny as the first two but still great!!!!!!!
that was great! If I can think of anything for it, I’ll tell you 🙂
Your latest chapter was FUN-NY! Very nice. Just can’t put it any other way. I just can’t. It is good!
Wery good!!
liked that they have to remind boromir that he is supouse to be dead.Also liked that leggy is so mad aboute his hair.as before it is funny that you use comments from movie and book.missed something aboute merry and pippin though…
and maybee in nexst chapter they could meet someone,maybee some orcs or come rohan folks or galadriel?? just an sugest.
keep up the good work!!
hug from norwegian_elf
Great job! That was so funny! Please continue!
How ’bout a chicken next? Hahaha, jsut joking. But it’s really funny all the same!
::Dies laughing,come back to life to submit a review:: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE come up with another chapter!!It was great!!
loved it!!!!!! it gets better and better!!!!!
Sorry it took me so long to review…I think where you are going with the story is great! It is funny seeing the fellowship be so un-fellowship like. ; ) Neat idea about Gandalf mixing up his potions! Looking forward to more!
that was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo funny!!!!!!!!!!!! poor legolas!!!!!!!! lol
I liked it alot, it was funny
LOL! LOL!!! This is hilarious, CJ. Oh man, poor Legolas! I’m off to the next chapter 🙂
Oh man, this is brilliantly hilarious!!! *rushing off to the next chappie* LOL!
Gandalf:” Boromir, aren’t you suppose to be dead?”
Boromir: “Minor glitch. Carry on.”
LOL! LOL! LOL!!!!!!!!!!
*shakes head in amazement at this awesome story*
I love parodies and this is the best one I’ve read! The dialogue and humor…brilliantly done and very imaginative!!! Again I have to say, poor Legolas…LOL. Bravo, CJ! I have to tell my friends about this story, wow! Please PM me and let me know when you update the next chapter. Talk to ya later *Hugs* Maddy 🙂
LoL that’s pretty funny!
LOL!!!!!!! Another brilliant and hilarious chapter, CJ! Love the cat fight between Arwen and Eowyn…hehehe. More! More! I love this story!!!
*Hugs*
Yay another chapter!! KEEP RIGHTING!!!
So awesome! I love the part about The Pippinster. And the Arwen/Eowyn thing. Hilarious! Keep it up!
hahaha! wicked funny! you know what would make this story even better??? hobbit slash lol welll absolutly fantastic story…. ill be a looking for the next chappy soon XD
very funny, i like what i see! are you going to write some more? please say yes! tanks for writing, your truely, eowyns daughter, eyowen!!!
I love hearing about the hobbits getting themselves into trouble! Good story!