(No plagiarism intended…blah, blah, blah….not a dead guy…blah, blah,blah….Enjoy!.)
*Our story begins with the Fellowship just parted from our dear friend Gandalf*
Pippin: Damn it! Damn it to the deepest circle of hell!
Aragorn: *Sounding scared that something bad has happened*What, what happened?!
Pippin: Gandalf had my last bag of potato chips. Damn it, I should have taken them back before we went in the mines when he said it but noooooooo, I had to make Gandalf carry them because (In a sarcastic voice) I’m a weak little hobbit.
Legolas: Well I think that was the last bag that anyone had soooooo……..
Merry: You mean to say that no one else has any more potato chips?
Sam: Yup, I think so.
Legolas: I think I saw some in Gimli’s bag….
Gimli: I just so happen to be allergic to the foul bits of fatty vegetable, you prissy, pretty-boy, blond haired, blue eyed, Momma’s boy from the UGLYEST forest fortress wannabe I have ever seen!
Boromir: Now that was below the belt Gimli!
*They all pause as they hear a sneaky **crunch** coming from behind the group*
Aragorn : (slowly and quietly) Has anyone else noticed that Mr. Baggins seems to be in the place, with his back turned on us, that the crunching is coming from and he is also the only person not yet to add his side to this.. Hem.. discussion?
(Legolas draws his bow and shoots, he barely misses Frodo’s right ear and the arrow impales its self in a rock having gone through none other then a half full bag of potato chips. The packet of chips dangles from the arrow as all stare at it.)
Frodo:(In a mock shocked but genuinely scared voice)Where did THEY come from?(There is still half a chip hanging from his mouth, and his breath stinks of cheese and onion flavouring.)
Sam: Oh I think a lot of things about you but never something as deceitful as this, Mr. Frodo.
Gimli: I think we should kill him right now for lying to us all!
Boromir : (In a hopeful voice)Then give the ring to Gondor?
Pippin :Oh for the love of the sweet but deadly angel of death! Again with the Gondor and the ring thing! The ring is being destroyed and that’s all there is to it, O.K?
( Everyone looks really shocked at this sudden outburst and then…)
Merry: That shut you up, huh?
Legolas: Oh just shut up! The ring will be destroyed (Pippin: I told you so), Frodo will not be killed,(Frodo: Yippee!) the ring will not go to Gondor (Boromir: Awwwwwwwwwwwww), but what will happen is a FRIENDLY discussion as to how we will FAIRLY (Aragorn, Gimli and Boromir:Awwwwwwwwwwwww) punish Frodo for his actions.
Aragorn: Thank you Legolas, you are right (except the fairness part), Frodo, present your case please.
Frodo: Well you see, I was just trying to spare all this fighting by eating the last pack, so please, consider sparing my life.
Gimli:*Queitly* What life, your hobbit for crying out loud, all you do is smoke, drink and eat…oh and sorry, you plant flowers too.
(Thankfully for Gimli, none of the hobbits heard his remark.)
Merry: So that makes it all right then does it?
(Aragorn is about to speak, when all notice Gimli and Legolas staring at something on the ground, all turn to look)
Gimli: Is that what I think it is?
Sam: It can’t be…..
Pippin: I think it is….
Merry: It’s a Jelly Bean!
Frodo: I don’t believe it!
Merry: Believe it good but deceitful buddy.
Legolas: It must be the last one left; everyone knows that the Orcs and Uruk-hai thrive on jellybeans.
Boromir: I thought they ate them all…
Aragorn: As did I.
Legolas: IT’S MINE
Everyone but Legolas: OH NO, IT’S NOT!
(All jump onto Jelly Bean, resulting in all of the Fellowship being crushed, Gandalf the White appears and looks at the pancake forms of his former companions)
Gandalf: Awww crap,well only one thing for it then…
(He pushes aside Aragorn and Legolas’s carcass’, removes the ring from the crushed Frodo’s neck, gives the crumpled Sam a kick for the team and calls out)
Gandalf: Oh Sauron, I have a surprise for you!
The End.
~Look at that reveiw button, it’s so nice. It’s calling out to you, it wants to be pushed. Push it and see what happens~