Disclaimer: LotR ain’t mine. Get over it.

Legolas stared into his elvish mirror as he searched for any sign of a unibrow on his blemish free face. He held his tweezers proudly as he plucked the tiniest blond hair that was sitting in between his eyebrows. It came out, and he carefully examined it, making sure that he didn’t get anything that didn’t need to be plucked. He spotted another one, which was quite a ways away from where his eyebrows were. Once again he plucked it and examined it. Now, I wouldn’t call this OCD, but I would say that he cared too much about his looks. Legolas didn’t even jump when he heard someone coming through the front door; he just simply plucked the third tiny hair from his brow.

“Plucking hairs, are we, laddy?” Gimli asked, stepping through the door. Legolas didn’t answer; he had to concentrate. “You know, laddy, it’s been a while since we’ve traveled together. I was wondering if we should see a little more of Middle-earth together, eh?” Gimli asked, but Legolas acted as if the dwarf wasn’t even present.

“Ouch.” Finally, Legolas had flinched as the fourth blond hair popped out of his forehead. The tiniest drop of blood appeared where the hair used to be, and Gimli could see tears fill up in the elf’s eyes.

“It’s bleeding,” Legolas said plainly, while clutching the tweezers.

“In most cases,” Gimli started, “Someone would bandage it.” Legolas threw himself on the ground at the thought of having to go around Middle-earth with a cloth bandage wrapped around his elven face.

“I won’t!” he screamed, and pelted the tweezers across the room. They almost hit Gimli, and that would have caused a bad case of a poked eye. Gimli simply dodged it, and made his way over to the kicking and screaming elf.

“It’s just a cut, laddy,” Gimli said, putting a hand on Legolas’s shoulder.

“And do you know what that means?” Legolas asked between sobs. “It means that I will get a scab! I can’t afford to have one!” Legolas screamed again, and pounded his fist on the floor.

Gimli found this quite amusing. He chuckled to himself, but put a concerned look on his face, so the elf wouldn’t see that he found this funny.

Legolas continued to scream for the next twenty minutes, and Gimli just watched in astonishment.

Finally, Legolas wiped the last tear from his eye, and glared at Gimli.

“This was your fault, you know.” The elf said, crossing his arms. “You came over and distracted me.” Gimli just stared back at Legolas, amazed that he would accuse him of making the elf bleed.

“I-I-I,” Gimli stuttered. The elf walked over to the other side of the room, and found the place where to tweezers had landed.

Gimli had no idea what was going to happen next, but little did he know that this was going to turn into a very violent situation.

All of a sudden, Legolas started to charge at Gimli, aiming the tweezers at him. Gimli quickly jumped to the side, causing Legolas to trip over his own feet and fly across the room, landing in a heap on the floor. Legolas got up and ran at Gimli, who was hiding from behind the couch. With his elvish skills, Legolas bounced on the couch cushions, and flipped over and landed facing the terrified Gimli.

The dwarf ran as fast as he could, away from the elf, but the ability of the elves is undefeatable, and Legolas quickly caught up with the dwarf.

“I’m going to pluck every hair out of your beard!” Legolas screamed like a banshee. This elf was truly out of control.

Gimli could think of a few curses that he would like to yell back to the elf, but decided against it. Legolas might throttle him. He could count himself a lucky dwarf that Legolas didn’t have his arrows or daggers with him.

Legolas, in the meantime, was becoming quite winded, for a change, and Gimli could hear him panting.

“Too much elven bread, eh?” Gimli teased Legolas, as he kept running. He didn’t dare say more, because the elf just caught his second wind.

Gimli ran even faster, but could hear himself gasping for air. Every step became more of a struggle, but he didn’t slow down; Legolas was right behind him.

All through Mirkwood they ran, with elven guards staring at them in astonishment. They’d never seen a chase like this, before, especially between an elf and a dwarf.

Finally, Legolas tripped over a tree’s root, causing him to fall, and skin his knee. Gimli slowed down, as he watched the elf begin to cry again.

Many guards ran over to help the elvish princeling with his scrape. They all seemed so concerned, and this made Gimli laugh very hard.

He fell on his bum, and held his stomach, as he chuckled harder then he ever had before.

Finally, a guard approached the hysterical Gimli, and nudged him in the side. Gimli jumped up, and looked at the guard, who actually appeared to be Lord Celeborn.

Gimli scrambled to his feet and bowed low. “My Lord,” Gimli said. “I am sorry to be a disturbance.” Celeborn gave him the eye and then spoke.

“You caused the elf much pain,” he said. “And by order of Lady Galadriel and myself, you are banned from this wood.” Gimli’s jaw dropped.

“But the elf was plucking his brows; it was his own mistake!” Gimli yelled.

By now, the dwarf was enraged. He gave a battle cry, and began to run in the elf’s direction. He pounced on the elf, and grabbed the tweezers. Legolas screamed like a girl, and began to flail around.

Now, Gimli was determined. He found that the greatest punishment for the elf’s insanity was to hold him down, and pluck as many hairs as he could, from the elf’s face.

The End