Goodbye is the Saddest Word
By Erutane

This is my first attempt at Song Fiction and it’s also my first posted fanfic. So please be nice. Reviews are welcome and encouraged. The characters include Celebrían, Arwen, Elladan, Elrohir, Elrond, and Galadriel. Elvish translations can be found at the end of the story. I don’t claim to be an expert, so any corrections are welcome. Sentences in italics are unspoken thoughts and song lyrics are marked by ~~~~~.

Disclaimer: None of the characters and places etc. are mine as they belong to Professor Tolkien and the song, “Goodbye’s (The Saddest Word)” belongs to Celine Dion.

Goodbye is the Saddest Word
~~~~~
Mamma you gave life to me
Turned a baby into a lady
And mamma all you had to offer
Was a promise of a lifetime of love
~~~~~
Celebrían gently rocked her newborn baby, a little girl. Softly humming a tune, she stroked the cheek of the child in her arms. So enthralled in the moment, she hardly acknowledged the entrance of her husband who quietly sat down next to her on the bed.

“Oh Elrond,” she sighed, “Look at her. She is the very image of Luthien come to earth again.” The Elf-lord smiled and put an arm around his wife. “She will grow in beauty and grace,” he whispered as he looked upon the face of his daughter, “I call her Undomiel, for she will be the Evenstar of our people.”

Elrond kissed Celebrían on the cheek, “And if she is anything like her mother, she will become a very fair lady indeed.” A soft blush graced Celebrían’s immortal face, and in her heart she knew her baby would have beauty surpassing all other beings that walked Middle-Earth.

Rising slowly, she placed the sleeping child in an elaborately designed cradle. As she tucked the soft blankets around her tiny form, the babe yawned and snuggled cozily into their warmth. Celebrían smiled and bid her daughter goodnight. Her heart swelled with happiness for the new life that had only just begun.

“Gerich veleth nín, Arwen.” (1)
~~~~~
Now I know there is no other love like a mother’s
Love for her child
~~~~~
The Lady of Rivendell smiled, watching with loving eyes as her three children played together in the gardens of their home. Elladan and Elrohir, her identical twin boys, were 111 years older than Arwen*. Yet they took pleasure in taking time out of their day to entertain their little sister with a game of hide-and-seek.

She ran about with graceful steps, searching under shrubs, behind trees and fountains for her brothers. Even at such a young age, Arwen still carried herself with the elegance and poise of a princess. For that is what she was.

Celebrían let out a crystal laugh when one twin sneaked up behind the little Elfling and swept her into his arms. “Elladan!” Arwen giggled as he spun her around. Once released, she ran from her brother…and straight into Elrohir who suddenly appeared from behind a stone wall.

Arwen shrieked with delight as he lifted her onto his shoulders and carried her to a nearby tree. There she could reach the luscious, red apples that hung from it. She plucked one and was about to bite into it when she paused.

“I want to bring one to Ammë (2),” she stated. Heeding her words, Elrohir set her softly on the ground and watched her quickly flutter towards the door. Elladan came to his side and they looked up at their mother who stood on a balcony above.

“Watch out, Ammë!” cried Elladan, “The little terror approaches!” Celebrían chuckled though she shot a reprimanding glance at her sons. Then she sat down on a nearby couch to await the arrival of her daughter.

With surprising speed, Arwen reached her parent’s room and nearly knocked over a vase as she rounded the corner out onto the balcony. “Ammë, look!” she called as she fled to her mother’s open arms. Settling into the Elf-woman’s lap, she handed her the ripened fruit.

“Hannon le, Arwen (3),” she said, caressing her daughters cheek tenderly. The young Elf smiled and watched expectantly as Celebrían bit into the apple. “Maer sen! (4),” she commented, holding it out to her daughter to try. They sat together in silence for awhile, sharing the tender fruit as a warm wind carried sounds of Elven voices lifted in song.

When they had finished, Arwen sighed and looked off into the distance. Celebrían tried to piece together what was going through the mind of her child. As she turned and looked up at her mother with silvery-blue eyes, she voiced her thoughts.

“Ammë, would you love me more if I brought you all the apples in the orchard?”

Celebrían held her daughter close and whispered into her dark hair, “Nothing in this world would make me love you more than I already do…I will always love you my little Evenstar.”
~~~~~
I know that love so complete someday must leave
Must say goodbye
~~~~~
The mirror never lies. Celebrían heard her mother’s words echoing through her mind as she looked into the waters of the Mirror of Galadriel.

Orcs were everywhere and she watched in horror as they carried a limp figure away. Then, she saw herself, shrouded in sorrow and misery, on a dock by the sea. Arwen was there, silver tears sliding down her pale cheeks as Celebrían bent forward to kiss her daughter’s brow.

What does this mean? The image changed, revealing a cloaked figure wandering the paths of a dying forest. Somehow she knew…this was the Evenstar, fading away from grief. Celebrían gasped as another image of her daughter, lying motionless on the withered grass flashed before her.

She stepped back from the mirror, unable to look any longer. A gentle hand on her shoulder gave her some comfort as she knew to whom it belonged.

“What have you seen, daughter?” asked Galadriel, her voice seemingly flooding the glade with sweet music. The Lady of Lothlorien held Celebrían’s gaze as she turned to face her. That was all she needed, for she found the answer to her inquiry in her daughter’s eyes.

You know then, Galadriel thought, Alas for the House of Elrond, whose pain will linger on even into the Undying Lands.

“I must leave, Ammë,” Celebrían said weakly, “I will return to Imladris to speak with my husband of this. He too possesses the gift of foresight. There is still one thing I wish to ask of you…”

Arwen loved visiting Lothlorien, the kingdom of her grandparents, Galadriel and Celeborn. Another spring was drawing to a close, and the Mallorn trees looked even more jubilant with their new, green foliage. Still, her heart was in Rivendell with her father and brothers whom she longed to see. Thoughts of her home ran through her mind as she stared out into the silver city of Caras Galadhon.

“Please try to understand, Arwen,” Celebrían pleaded, “You will be well cared for here and Grandmother has promised to go with you when you are summoned to return to Imladris.”

Arwen sighed and turned to her mother. “Ammë, there is something you are not telling me,” she pried, “Why are you so intent on my staying here? You have never withheld me from traveling with you before…”

“I know, sell nín (5), but there is something that weighs on my heart and I think it’s better that you remain here in safety.” Celebrían studied her daughter’s face framed by dark, wavy locks of hair. She was still young in Elvish reckoning and was not quite full-grown…perhaps the equivalent of an adolescent of the human race**. But the baby girl who Celebrían had rocked to sleep all those years ago was gone.

“You are not a child anymore, Arwen. Though you still have much to learn about the world. I think it is time that I gave you this.”

The Lady of Imladris revealed a pendant of mithril, graceful in shape and radiating an ethereal glow. A true piece of Elven craftsmanship, it displayed the utmost care and patience in its design. Like a silver star, it shone in the fading light.

“Your father and I had it made for you when you were born,” explained Celebrían as she clasped the gem around her daughter’s slender neck, “We named you Arwen Undomiel, because you are a light for our people. I hope you will wear it always. This is a symbol to all who cross your path that you are the Evenstar, daughter of Elrond and Celebrían.”

Arwen was utterly speechless as she touched the priceless gift. Yet, somehow, she found a way to communicate her feelings to her mother. For, as her silver eyes met those of Celebrían, the Elf-Woman could almost hear her daughter’s voice.

I won’t forget, Ammë. I understand now. I know you must leave and I will honor your request.

Celebrían smiled and squeezed Arwen’s hand.

“Namarië, sell nín. (6)”
~~~~~
Goodbye’s the saddest word I’ll ever hear
Goodbye’s the last time I will hold you near
Someday you’ll say that word and I will cry
It’ll break my heart to hear you say goodbye
~~~~~
Arwen stood beside the Lady of Lothlorien as her mother’s small caravan prepared to take their leave. She watched Celebrían mount her white steed. The little bells on the harness jingled as she directed the horse towards the gate, but not without turning back one last time to see her daughter. She smiled and blew a kiss, yet all those present could see the pain in their parting. They had never known the Lady of Rivendell to travel without her daughter and this journey was a mystery to most. Only Galadriel knew the true objective of Celebrían’s sudden departure.

Arwen returned her mother’s gesture and placed a hand on the Evenstar pendant. Silently she vowed always to wear it, in honor of her parents and a reminder of who she was. Giving it away would mean giving away a piece of her heart.

The Elven trumpets sounded as the caravan exited the gates of Caras Galadhon. There was a gentle wind and Arwen caught a final glimpse of her mother’s golden hair tossed by the wind, before she rode out of sight.

Goodbye, Ammë.
~~~~~
Mamma you gave love to me
Turned a young one into a woman
And mamma all I ever needed
Was a guarantee of you loving me
~~~~~
The Elven banners fluttered in the breeze and Arwen pulled her cloak tighter around her shoulders to drive out the chill. Elves are usually unhindered by the elements, but there was a sense of foreboding that hung over the Evenstar’s soul, making the cold set in with unrelenting force.

It was midwinter now and the months had passed without word from Imladris. Arwen had worried little about the happenings in her homeland since she trusted her Ada (7) would send word had something gone amiss…and something had.

Whispers passed through Lothlorien of riders approaching, the banner of the House of Elrond clearly visible. Tales of battling orcs in the mountain passes had gone around for some time and it was enough to cause anxiety in the Elven Princess.

She stood on a talan near the entrance to the city. Leaning forward, she listened for signs of her kinsmen. Arwen feared for her father’s messengers. If the rumors were true, the road to Lothlorien would be dangerous. The horn blasts and pounding of hooves reached her pointed ears. She ran to the stairs anxious to meet the arrivals personally.

When she reached the courtyard, she could hardly contain her surprise at the sight of her brothers. Elladan and Elrohir, now proud lords and seasoned warriors, were there, surrounded by their faithful knights. Needless to say, the sorrowed looks on their faces frightened Arwen. She rushed forward to embrace them as soon as they had dismounted. They accepted the welcome of their sister and lovingly expressed how pleased they were to see her well.

“We have come to take you home,” declared Elrohir without hesitation. Although this did not particularly alarm Arwen, she knew their must be more to their journey than to simply fetch her back to Rivendell. Nevertheless, she nodded, still examining the faces of her brothers.

“I admit I have waited long for this day, yet I am somewhat puzzled as to why Ada and Ammë have sent you both to retrieve me. They’ve always been trusting of Grandmother’s escort…” Her voice faded as she witnessed a brief glance pass between the Elves.

“Dan? ‘Ro? What’s wrong?”

Elladan looked at his twin, who nodded, before replying.

“It’s Ammë, Arwen,” he said softly, his voice quavering with emotion, “She was ambushed by orcs last summer.”

Arwen gasped. Fear gripped her heart with its icy fingers as Elladan continued, “They slaughtered her escort and took her captive. We followed them as soon as we found out…”

“We took some of our finest warriors to rescue her,” Elrohir cut in, “They had a fortress in the caves under the Redhorn Pass. We killed many, but some escaped. We carried Ammë home. No one knows how long they tortured her…”

His voice faltered as he tried to hide the tears welling up in his eyes from the painful memory. Elladan gave a sympathetic glance at his brother before picking up the story where he left off, “Ada has been working constantly to heal her, but her wounds are grievous…”

“Why hadn’t I been sent for sooner?” Arwen interrupted. Elrohir placed a compassionate hand on her shoulder as he tried to offer some consolation.

“We were concerned for your safety and Ada thought it best that you stayed in Lothlorien. Glorfindel wished to send word to you, but Ada feared the message would fall into the wrong hands and they’d be waiting for you.”

“They?” Arwen inquired.

“The orcs that captured Ammë. Do not fear, Muinthel (8). We went after them,” explained Elladan, “Our hunt has lasted for weeks and finally we have avenged her. Yet, there are still orcs about as the evil in this world spreads…”

“And we will get our revenge by devoting ourselves to rid our realm of every glamhoth (9) we can find,” finished Elrohir, “We have come to personally escort you home…Ammë wishes…she wishes to…”

“What he means to say is that Ammë wants to see you, to know you are safe,” Elladan completed, “Will you come?”

Not long after, the party from Rivendell headed out, this time with the princess in their midst. All went with heavy hearts for although they returned home, that which they returned to was very different from the home they had known. For sadness hung over the valley and the sorrow was felt by its inhabitants.
~~~~~
‘Cause I know there is no other love like a mother’s
Love for her child
And it hurts so that something so strong
someday’ll be gone
Must say goodbye
~~~~~
“Ada?” called Arwen softly.

The Lord of Imladris looked up as his daughter silently entered the dimly lit chamber.

“Arwen,” he whispered as he rose from his chair beside the bed and embraced her, holding her for a moment, “How I’ve missed you.”

“And I’ve missed you,” Arwen’s voice was choked by tears as her eyes moved to the still form on the bed, “H-how is she?”

Elrond’s face deepened and he held back teardrops as he moved to his wife’s side. “The weapons of the enemy are often poisoned. Their foul tools have slowed her healing,” he explained, “I’ve done all I can, but…the rest will be up to her.”

Although she knew not what this meant, Arwen sat down on the edge of the bed and took her mother’s frail hand in hers. “Ammë,” she called, “Ammë, can you hear me?”

Celebrían’s eyes flickered open as she awoke from another troubled sleep. “Arwen?” she whispered, “My daughter…I knew you’d come.” Tears ran unashamed down the Elven Princess’s face as she did her best to smile.

“It does me good to see you,” Celebrían said weakly, “But I fear it is not enough.”

“What?”

“Never mind, sellath nin. I am glad to have you home. Perhaps now some peace shall return to me.”

Yet, no peace was there for Celebrían, daughter of Celeborn and Galadriel. The torturers had done their job far too well, as all hope of having her happiness restored to her was gone.
~~~~~
But the love you give will always live
You’ll always be there every time I fall
You are to me the greatest love of all
You take my weakness and you make me strong
And I will always love you till forever comes
~~~~~
Brightly colored autumn leaves fell all about them as Celebrían sat with her family in the garden. Her golden locks hung loosely about her face as she stroked the heads of her sons that sat at her feet. Arwen was seated next to her on the intricately carved bench and rested her cheek on her mother’s shoulder. All three of the young Elves looked up at her with pleading eyes. Those bright faces, so full of sorrow, would have been enough to break anyone’s heart. Yet, Celebrían was too lost in her own thoughts to notice.

The lord of Imladris slipped his arm around his wife’s waist and drew her close, “What are you thinking, my love.”

Celebrían blinked a few times and swallowed her tears, “Just…what this poison has done to me…to all of us.”

“Are you still feeling unwell?” the Elf-lord asked as he wrapped her shawl around her more tightly.

“No, it is not the physical pain I speak of, Elrond. I mean the emotional harm that cannot be undone. The damage is so complete that I fear I will never be the same again. Nothing can bring me back.”

“Please, do not say such things, Celebrían, especially in front of the children-”

“They have the right to know. It won’t be long now and I wanted to apologize before then.”

At this, all three looked up at their parents with worried expressions. Only Elrohir found the words to speak.

“Apologize for what, Ammë?”

She sighed and looked at each of them in turn, “For not being here to share your laughter, your triumphs, for not being here to dry your tears… and for inflicting this dreadful heartache on those I love the most.”

The meaning of these words finally sunk in for the twins, but Arwen had to ask the question whose answer she was afraid to hear.

“Y-You’re leaving, Ammë?”

Tears fell unbidden down Celebrían’s face as she confirmed all their fears.

“Yes, Arwen. I’m afraid I must.”

Every member of the family felt a wave of unspeakable grief wash over them. Arwen buried her face in her mother’s shoulder. The twins looked to their father for a solution or at least the strength to hold back their tears. But, Elrond himself struggled with keeping his composure and the words of his beloved along with the pale-gray eyes of his sons made it all the more difficult.

“I have no choice,” Celebrían continued, “It is clear to me now that I will find no rest here…no rest from the misery that has settled in my heart and taken all joy from me. I will sail to the Undying Lands and leave the pain of this world behind-”

“You would leave us behind as well?” Elladan’s voice interrupted with a little more frustration than he wished to reveal.

“Oh Dan, that is the last thing I want to do! But this was a difficult decision I had to make.”

“Why?” Arwen whispered in a tone barely audible to the human ear. Yet, her mother heard it plainly and it drove the knife of agony deeper into her heart.

“Undomiel, listen to me,” she said, taking her daughter’s face in her hands. Arwen lifted her eyes at the use of her royal name, locking on to her mother’s piercing gaze.

“I will always be here, in your heart, because my love will never pass away. My thoughts will go with you and no matter what happens…I will always love you.”
~~~~~
And when you need me
I’ll be there for you always
I’ll be there your whole life through
I’ll be there through the lonely days
I’ll be there this I promise you…
~~~~~
The ship rose and fell on the gentle waves. Sea gulls circled overhead, their mournful cries resounding in the air. All those present stood in respectful silence as the Lady of Imladris said her final farewells to her family.

Celebrían first came to her husband, the proud Lord of Imladris. Yet, Elrond looked so helpless as he gave one last attempt at convincing his wife to stay. She could only shake her head and put a slender finger on his lips to silence him.

“It is no use, my love,” she consoled, “Do not burden yourself over this. None of this is your fault.”

He looked away, but Celebrían’s gentle hand brought his gaze back to her, “I will be waiting for you there.”

He nodded reluctantly and tried to make his tone as light as possible when he said, “I never thought a thousand years would seem so long. How will I live without you? How can I go on…I love you, Celebrían.”

Glistening teardrops streaked down both their faces as Elrond leaned in to kiss his beloved one last time…

Elladan and Elrohir stood their tallest, trying to mask their woe with proud expressions. Celebrían smiled to see how handsome and strong her twin sons had become. They’re so much like their father.

“Namarië, ionath nín (10)” she said, reaching up to caress their identical faces before kissing their cheeks. She was about to turn away when Elladan reached out and pulled his mother into a firm embrace. Elrohir followed suit, as both of them no longer cared who was watching.

“Cormamin niuve tenna’ ta elea lle au’, Ammë (11),” he whispered.

“I will miss you too, my sons. More than you know.”

Arwen kept her head bowed. She could not bear to see her mother say goodbye to her brothers. So wrapped up in her own anguish, she failed to hear her mother’s footsteps as she drew near. Even when the hem of her long, flowing gown was visible at her feet, Arwen could not get herself to look up.

Celebrían stretched out her hand and lifted her daughter’s face. Deep rivulets of silver and diamonds were placed all over her daughter’s fair complexion. It is as the mirror showed me…O, may the rest fail to come true.

“Sen an le, (12),” she said, handing her daughter a green gem set in silver shaped like an eagle in flight.

“It is the Elfstone, given to me by my mother. Now I pass it on to you.”

Arwen drew a labored breath as she looked at the jeweled brooch in her hands. “It’s beautiful, Ammë,” she said, her voice choked with emotion.

A small smile touched the corners of Celebrían’s lips as she bent forward to kiss the brow of her only daughter. Inwardly, she cried out in anguish at the thought of loosing her beautiful Undomiel forever. Grieving her own loss, Arwen burst into sobs as she wrapped her arms around her mother.

The Lady of Rivendell had foreseen the fate of the Evenstar and knew this moment was the last time she would hold her child…at least until the ending of the world.

Her quiet weeping joined that of the young Elf princess. She mourned not for herself, but for her daughter, the one who would be left behind. She lamented over how much it would pain Arwen to hear the word she knew she must say…

The sea breeze filled the sails as the shipwright unwound the rope from the dock, the only thing keeping her mother in Middle Earth. Arwen watched the graceful bow slice the water as it made its way onward, out of the harbor, and onto the open sea.

Little did she know that she would never see her Ammë again from that day forward. Powerless to stop her, she could only witness her passing. The sun sank down into the west as the ship disappeared over the horizon, never to return.

Just as she was about to turn away, a voice floated across the water, singing a soft melody that warmed her heart. Her eyes searched for the source of the sound. Unable to do so, they instead fell upon a bright and brilliant star that appeared in the ever-darkening skies. It glimmered in the night and instilled a sense of hope in the heart of those left standing on the shore. Closing her eyes, Arwen found calm in the peaceful song…
~~~~~
I’ll be your beacon through the darkest night
I’ll be the wings that guide your broken flight
I’ll be your shelter through the raging storm
And I will love you till forever comes
~~~~~
The sound of the waves echoed in her ears as Arwen returned to Rivendell with her father and brothers. Elrond whispered words of comfort to his children, though his sorrow was evident in his voice. The trip seemed to go by quickly, all too quickly for those whose memories were stirred by the sight of their home.

As they passed through the gardens, Arwen looked sadly at the place where she and her brothers used to play hide-and-seek. Mother and daughter had shared many an apple there in that courtyard. It was a happy memory. Yet, it still inflicted pain on their grief-stricken spirits.
Returning to her room, Arwen stood on her balcony. There she remained throughout the night, as sleep evaded her. Her silent vigil was disturbed, however, by the sound of quiet weeping coming from the room across the hall.

Noiselessly, she tread the stone floor till she came to the doorway of her parents’ room. There she found her crestfallen father, seated in front of a dying fire. He held his head in his hands and his shoulders shook with each sob.

The princess crossed the room and knelt before him, taking his hands in hers. Elrond looked up only to be faced with a figure that resembled his wife in so many ways. His daughter’s presence brought fresh tears to his eyes.

Arwen had never seen her father cry before, though, heaven knows, he shed many a tear those past few months. He had always been the strong one, always there to calm her fears and prove to her that everything was all right. Now it was her turn, though she was hardly suppressing her own emotions. Squeezing his hands tightly, she did her best to console her father with soothing words.

For what felt like hours, they grieved together, letting go of all their inner heartache until it seemed like there were no more tears to shed. Returning to her chamber, Arwen laid herself down on a couch by an open window. There she could see the night sky and the star that still sparkled in the heavens. She watched its silvery white glow as sleep finally began to come to her. Wherever she was and no matter what happened, her mother’s love would always be there…
~~~~~
Goodbye’s the saddest word I’ll ever hear
Goodbye’s the last time I will hold you near
Someday you’ll say that word and I will cry
It’ll break my heart to hear you say goodbye

Till we meet again…
Until then…
Goodbye.
~~~~~
THE END

A/N Good? Bad? Boring?! R&R please! Constructive criticism is much appreciated! I’ve worked really hard on this fanfic and hope you all enjoyed it. God bless!

* It is possible that in Elvish reckoning, 111 years difference is not much and that the twins would seem nearer to Arwen’s age in appearance. I wrote about them as looking like teenagers while Arwen was still a young child.
** Again, this event took place sometime around the year 2509 in the Third Age, so Arwen would have been approximately 2,268 years old. Although it has been speculated that when an Elf is in his or her late two-thousands, they appear to be in their twenties in human reckoning. In this fanfiction, I made Arwen look about 15-16 years old at this point for emotional effect.

Elvish Phrases Used
(1) Gerich veleth nín – I love you (Literally: You have my love)
(2) Ammë – mother (A/N I chose to use Quenya since Celebrían was part Noldor)
(3) Hannon le – Thank you
(4) Maer sen! — This is delicious!
(5) sell nín – my daughter
(6) Namarië – farewell
(7) Ada – father
(8) Muinthel – sister
(9) glamhoth – orc-host
(10) ionath – sons
(11) Cormamin niuve tenna’ ta elea lle au’– I will miss you (Literally: My heart shall weep until it sees thee again)
(12) Sen an le — This is for you