GOING TO GRANDMA’S HOUSE

Arwen: “Daddy, it’s about time we visited Grandma again.”

Elrond: “I suppose so, but I hope she isn’t going to spend all her time making us look in that ruddy mirror of hers! She should switch it off when people come round.”

Arwen: “But Daddy, she’s old, and it’s nice for her to have a hobby!”

Elrond: “Well, I hope she behaves herself, she scared the life out of Frodo with her ‘dark elf queen’ trick when he was there. You would think at her age she would know better.”

Arwen: “I admit old people can be difficult, I wish she would stop asking me when I was going to get a proper elf boyfriend, and if Gramps calls Aragorn my toy boy one more time, I’m going to scream.”

Elrond: “And it’s high time they got a stair lift installed, they’re not getting any younger, it’s either that or they move to a much lower tree.”

Arwen: “Now Daddy, you know how much Grandma likes her penthouse view”

Elrond: “And another thing, don’t let her take you out in that Swan boat of hers, the thing isn’t safe to be on the river!”

Arwen: “It’s Ok, it doesn’t go all that fast anymore anyway. I wonder if she’s made you another of these Elvin cloaks?”

Elrond: “God! I hope not! I’ve got 5 of the things already!”

Arwen: “But you keep leaving them out on the stones and you can never find them again because she uses that invisible material.”

Elrond: “Now I come to think of it, there might be another 1 or 2 around …and talking of cloaks, this time don’t wear the red one with the hood.. and whatever you do, don’t carry the basket! I’m sick of coming across wargs in the wood trying to dress like your Granny!”

Arwen: “I know, and they get so disappointed if I don’t tell them what big teeth they’ve got!”