I am Done by lilpippin
disclaimer: None of the characters envolved in LotR are mine, but since I never name these characters I don’t have to worry about this too much.
I’m done trying to please you, father.
I am no more your bother.
So far you have pushed me,
and you never once heard my plea.
I tried to make you love me
but so often you pushed and shoved.
You do not understand-
that I accept who I am.
I no longer heed your command,
for I now can see your scam.
What makes you think-
that I would stay ensnared.
For I am prepared-
for rejection.
I no longer want your affection.
Keep in mind that-
though you pushed me away
I will always love you.
And I hope that you’ll-
one day love me too.
Let me know what you think please. I have mentioned before that I am scared of putting my poems up here, so just let me know what you think. I accept rejections and complaints!!R&R~
4 Comments
I liked this a lot: very different. You are bold to take upon such feelings and try to make them rhyme. I thought the lines were abrupt, but sometimes that is good; sometimes, this way, it is easier to get the feelings written and understood. But the line “I no longer desire your affection” and some others, I do not agree with. I think Faramir was always trying for his father’s love. But everyone interprets different, and still the poem was good. Keep writing please!
Absolutely no complains, very well written. But somehow, I feel closer to Elrond’s Estel. I just feel that the other one was written a little bit better. Anyway great job!
good start… second draft coming?
some of the rhyming seemed a lil forced but other than that… keep writing more!
Awww, poor Faramir… *sniff* What a touching poem! You really captured Faramir’s pain. Great stuff!