I stand on the never-ending carpet of green grass but I do not see the beauty that surely lies therein. I see nothing but rolling waves forever crashing against the sand. I shake my head and continue to walk, ever Northward. Arwen has bid me come to Minas Tirith for the marriage of her son. This is a happy time for her and I should be rejoicing with my kinswoman. But since that day many years ago causes for merriment have altogether ceased. At times I cannot help but curse Aragorn and his decision to lead us to the Paths of the Dead. If we had simply stayed away I would not be in this agony. No, I would be dead as would all that I hold dear. How can I think so selfishly as if I were nothing more than a child? Sleep, that will wipe away these memories for a time.

Soft light filters through my eyelids and I wake to see the white towers of the Grey Havens. A boat stands ready to bear me away to the Undying Lands. My heart leaps within my chest and I feel as if I could fly with the alabaster gulls that circle in the sky. Slowly so as not to distract from the infinite perfection of this moment I step onto the sand. The fine particles work their way through my leather boots and tickle my toes. How I’ve missed this sensation. And then the sound reaches my pointed ears and I praise the Valar that this is real. The beautiful music of endless waves of water as they crash against the grey rocks has never seemed so welcome as it does now. I’ve reached the dock and the wood of the platform is warm to my touch. I’m truly leaving Middle Earth and it’s mortal sorrows goodbye.

No, no I’m not. I’m sitting upright in a field of grass sobbing. My heart feels as if it has been shattered into a thousand pieces like a priceless piece of pottery. As much as I wish to make my dreams and fantasies a reality I know I cannot. I gave my word, my vow, my solemn oath to those I call friends. That I would not leave these fair green shores until they too had crossed from the land of the living. But how could they know that I am in daily agony? They could not begin to comprehend how my heart, nay my very soul cries out for the sea. It is in my blood.

I stand and turn once again to the North. I will continue onward, ever onward. I dream of the sea.