I Enjoy Being an Elf – Sung by Legolas
(To the tune of “I Enjoy Being a Girl)

When I have a brand new hair-do
With my lashes all in a curl,
I float as the clouds on air do,
I enjoy being an elf.

When Nazgirls say I’m cute and funny.
And my teeth are not teeth but pearl,
I just lap it on like honey,
I enjoy being an elf.

I flip when fangirls send me letters,
I drool over tunics made of lace,
I talk on the telephone for hours,
With a pound and a half of cream upon my face!
I am strictly a pretty elf – elf male,
And my future I hope will be,
In the home of a mad little Nazgirl,
Who’ll enjoy being a fan,
Having an elf like me!!!