It’s the beards

Disclaimer: I do not own Gimli or Legolas (damn), I do not own Lord of The Rings or anything from it. I do, however own a very nice pair of homemade Elf ears.

Originally (and still is) I published this on fanfiction.net, and am now posting it here, ’cause I think it’s funny.

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Gimli was sitting at a table, drinking with Legolas. Another dwarf came up to the table with their mug.

“Mind if I sit down?” Gimli, thinking she was coming on to him, tapped Legolas’s foot with his own under the table, signaling for him to go away with a good excuse.

“Go right ahead,” he replied. She sat down across from him.

“I have to go. I’m meeting a friend just out of the town.” Standing up, Legolas nodded to both of them, and left.

“So, where are you from?” They got deep into conversation quickly.

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After a bit, they decided to get a room upstairs, wink wink. They started to kiss, and sat down on the bed, taking each other’s clothes off. But Gimli noticed something and broke the kiss.

“Wait, you’re a male?”

“Yeah, you aren’t a girl?”

“No…” Both of their eyes widened, and they gaped in horror. They both screamed and ran out of the room stripped to the waist.

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Legolas sat under a waterfall accessed via a gap between the water itself and the rock. Soon, a brown haired Elf maiden came into view.

“Tiniowien,” he called softly. Her head turned towards him. Smiling, she walked over. Legolas stood, and offered her his hand -which she took- to get over the slippery rocks.

Once under the falls, they sat down, and Tiniowien relaxed into his arms.

“I was having a drink with a dwarf friend of mine just a few minutes ago.”

“Was this the one you told me about? The one in the Fellowship you were in?” she asked. He nodded.

“Another dwarf sat down with us, and I think they were flirting. The only problem is that I think the other one that came over was also male.” Tiniowien and Legolas both started laughing.