Day One: BEHOLD! I WRITE! The world is interesting again! The Uruks have stoped singing songs and are attacking. Wait? That’s bad…isn’t it?

Day Two: Killed many Uruks…Gimli is killing more than I, stupid super sized dwarf. He yells “Argh! Argh!” then he falls down, about ready to be stabed, gets BACK up and starts “Arghing” again. Why won’t he just DIE?

(Note to self: Sweaty Uruks bad for complexion)

Day Three: While my hair is staying PERFECT and neat, Aragorn is all sweaty and grimy! GREASE BALL! Killing more Uruks that Gimli. GO ME!

Day Four: May have to call the Hair Hotline to order some cupons for de-tangler. Alas, I am turning greasy! The Hair Hotline will help, though! And the world, will be a better place!

(note to self: Other good 1-800 number are 1-8004Beauty, 1-8004HairHelp, and of course…1-8004UrHealthy-ElfProducts.)